Ssed Poems | Examples


Premium MemberStained Glass Christ

Stained glass Christ
a half @ssed confession or two
collection plate duets
death rattles in the pew.

Misery in the pew
virgins sucking on their vice
gossip spreads the news
over stained glass mice.

The cutters on the slice
blood soaked plastic Christ
sipping whisky over dirty lies
rolling a pair of blank faced dice.

Chained to the dark side of the room
with jesters and the loons
collection plate duets 
with a stained-glass rapist 
crouching down in darkened pew.
Categories: ssed, evil, goodbye,
Form: Free verse

Grammar Police

Rote an esay
Cheked IT twise
Lot's a' mistakes
Graide not so nice...

I yused comas
Perfetley placed paws
"2 much incoheeseivenes"
I cant, brake up a, claws

Yused fulstops.
not tolong a .sentense
But teecher. was furryous
Marked down with a venjance

Did exclamashons!
Sumtimes .3 @ once!!!!
& YUSED CAPS 2 SHOUT!!
Butt "you ownly need one,!!"

Coalon,
Wen I need 2 maik: lists
Rote my: Faverit, tv shos
But: teecher were: p*ssed

Semicoalons;
Wen, I need 2 look: smart!!
nut shure wat. they do; But
the esay ritings really hard!!!

[93 werds]
Categories: ssed, confusion, funny, language, satire,
Form: Light Verse


Leaping Leprechaun

Leaping through the clovers 
on his merry way, 
the leprechaun is happy, 
on this St. Patrick's Day. 

He tripped over a pebble 
and landed on his face, 
he lost his po' o' gold, 
it spilled all o'er the place. 

He got up off the ground 
put his hands on his hips, 
his pipe fell ou' o' his mouth, 
he had a pout upon his lips. 

"I lost me po' o' gold 
all o'er the place, 
because o' the damn pebble, 
me landed on me face." 

He bent o'er to 
pick up his riches, 
his pants fell down, 
out came the stitches. 

"Ta, ta, te, ta, ta, ti, 
now me is p*ssed off, 
me a*se is a showin', 
me temper is aloft." 

"Me ain't very happy, 
I lost me po' o' gold, 
me pipe fell on the ground, 
me feelin' o so old." 

"Bending o'er is hard 
on me back, 
me is goin' ta pull up me pants, 
so me can hide me crack." 

Copyright © Cynthia Jones 
Mar.17/2004
Categories: ssed, humorous, imagery, inspiration, ireland,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberCritiquing 'N' Kindness

I know what you are thinking
This poem really stinks
Why did he bother writing it
Why'd he waste the ink

What kind of form, did he use
It's not on any list
It doesn't follow any rules
Oh Boy, this gets me P*ssed

Where'd he learn to spell
And make those stupid rhymes
He must have been, held back in school
At least a hundred times

My kid could do a better job
I'm telling you it's true
In several colored crayons
And She is only two

But, I have to show some mercy
Critique it with kindness
although he slaughters poetry
I'll just say,  something timeless

So, in the comment box below
I'll be a little trite
And type a saying we all know
Hey So-and-so "Great Write" 

by JT Curtis May 13, 2014
Categories: ssed, funny, humor, humorous, poetry,
Form: Rhyme
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