Spammers Poems | Examples


Lovely

Lovely, you're still my Valentine,
Romance that is yours and mine,
It's okay to be human, feeling
Sublime, love sends me reeling,
It's okay to love your smile, 
Hope we linger a while
 In morning glory, all right,
Darby, no need to get uptight,
Your woo is the more than best,
Spammers, chuck away the rest!
You are Cupid's sweet one,
Closer now, for ageing fun,
Lovers have an excellent place,
Adoring you, such happy face,
My ode devoted, my heart
Caring for you, let's never part!
Categories: spammers, appreciation, beauty, cute love,
Form: Rhyme

Number 2222

I have blocked the number 2222
Spammers doing scam to get cash
Lottery ticket plane crash family trash
Beware of number 2222 dash dash.....
Categories: spammers, anxiety, betrayal, technology, trust,
Form: Rhyme


Spam

I’ve never tasted Spam before
And don’t intend to do it,
Although, unless I try, I know
That I should not pooh-pooh it.

I wouldn’t even think of Spam,
The food that I am scorning,
If not for getting, on my phone,
A daily “Spam Risk” warning.

Some days it happens several times
From unfamiliar places,
Where spammers sit and make the calls
Behind their unseen faces.

I never answer if I see
That “Spam Risk” message blinking,
But just that word, you understand,
Provokes me into thinking.

Imagine on the other end,
A scammer with his planned pitch
Making calls all day while chomping
On his favorite canned Spam sandwich!
Categories: spammers, word play,
Form: Rhyme

Bcc

If you forward this—
E-mail, please BCC all—
Spammers then mightn't call.
Spammers get an e-mail list
From CCs and that's the gist.
Categories: spammers, education, humor,
Form: Tanka

The Twelve Spammers' Christmas

On the first day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . a cut-rate Canadian Pharmacy
On the second day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . two insurance quotes
On the third day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . three free credit scores
On the fourth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . four grow your *****
On the fifth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . five thousand dollars guaranteed!
On the sixth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . six extended warranties
On the seventh day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . seven stock alerts
On the eighth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . eight work from homes
On the ninth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . nine Nigerian emails
On the tenth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . ten get out of debts
On the eleventh day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . eleven singles meet ups
On the twelfth day of Christmas, net spammers sent to me . . . 
    . . . twelve hot Asian brides
Categories: spammers, christmas, humorous, internet, parody,
Form: Lyric


2,222 and Rising

2,222 and Rising

By Elton Camp 

That is the number of spammers I’ve blocked
But the flood it has just stemmed, not stopped

For every time that I open my in-box e-mail
Still more scams do my senses irritate & assail

Just today, yet another Internet lottery I’ve won
To get a million bucks, they say, will be such fun

Oh, and just look at this extremely nice surprise 
My e-mail’s been randomly chosen for a prize

And somebody has a problem with gender ID
I’ve been selected Woman of the Year, I see

Then, oh my, there has been another plane crash
The bank wants me to claim all the family cash

A foreigner of a business partner is in great need
I can get rich by investing only some chicken feed

Another young lady wants me to sponsor her
“And, I will bring millions with me, kind Sir.”

Again some rich woman is just about to die
To get me to accept her money she does try

Here is an official in the greatest African bank
He offers a corrupt proposal that’s so rank

It makes me wonder who falls for stuff like this
But if they send enough, I guess they can’t miss
Categories: spammers, funny, me, woman, me,
Form: Rhyme
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