snippy snappy sneezy snarly snail
met Melton Mickey, a piece of mail
preening privately in potter’s pail
saying Selena’s son Shawn should shortly sail
allowing alloys, alligators and aliens ale
believing beyond bunker boy’s blueblood bale
kicking kindhearted kiwi into kangaroo kale
amusing snippy snappy sneezy snarly snail
My timely explanation is coming soon
Don’t hold your breath, I beg you please,
As soon as the cow jumps over the moon
I’ll write you a note, hoping to appease.
I do not have the info right now at hand
I am too busy to do the needed research,
Besides, I already have my day planned,
And your stupid request puts me in a lurch.
Consider Google, Wikipedia, or another
A wealth of information at your fingertips,
If all else fails, you could ask your brother
Or go to tik-tok and stare at the newsclips.
You know, I hate to be so blunt with you,
But just how important is this information?
Your request has come to me out of the blue
And, frankly, to you I have no obligation.
So, a timely explanation is coming soon
Don’t hold your breath, I beg you please
As soon as the cow jumps over the moon,
I’ll write you a note, hoping to appease.
Written August 29, 2022
Once upon a time there was a particularly snarly frog named Jade.
She was fond of juices, especially fruity ones like pink lemonade.
Her brother was annoying, she kind of wanted to make a trade.
He called her names. The most annoying was Trixie Marmalade.
She met a man who was from the deepest everglade.
He was stoic and straight, and had an attitude staid.
She met him under a dripping tree that gave much shade.
He took her brother Cade to him, and she quickly paid.
Her father asked her where is your little brother Cade?
He needed him to help him in a swamp, they would have to wade.
Jade was horrified, and lied through her teeth, a total evade.
But she was found out, thanks to a busybody who was the downstairs maid.
The father rescued Cade that day from that evil frog, Jade.
Jade got her comeuppance and was put away in the dark shade.
I have to say I was smug and decided to stay where I used to wade.
For I am Cade, her brother who can now bray he is drinking all the lemonade.
He was a snarly, gnarly, encumbered tree root.
Diving into the earth in the most twisted, gnarly way.
His attitude was gnarly too, and he was thickening.
Why me? He demanded. What did I ever do?
There was only silence until a curious worm stopped by.
The worm had all kinds of questions for him.
Most he could not answer, but it intrigued him
That an earthworm could talk oak. So they became friends
And he became less caustic, less grouchy, and more open.
Life as he knew it before, a distant memory.
I am a snarly, growly, angry girl today.
I’ll snap your head off in a rather gruesome way.
My machetes are out, and my guns are blazing.
I’ll be cutting and chopping, and hell-raising.
Why I woke up in this mood is anyone’s guess.
I’ll leave bodies and pieces, a giant mess.
I’m a snarly, growly, angry girl today.
I’m warning you ahead of time, so you will please stay away.