Fourteen pounds; that’s a bucket of lard
And losing that shouldn’t be so hard
It’s turkey, pud and let’s not quibble
A pretty frequent midnight nibble
It’s one whole stone of belly fat
Inflating what was firm and flat
Slimline tonic won’t do that
So did I eat an alley cat?
Six-point-three-five Kilograms
Twice what sometimes fills our prams
Were I pregnant, for my sins
Could be that I’m toting twins
But I’ve had lots of Christmases
And I’m sure when I tell you this
Six weeks watching what I eat
Will make my tummy nice and neat
The trifle’s gone, as is the meat
All the savoury, all the sweet
It’s time to watch my waist deflate
With smaller servings on my plate
And so I put away the gin
And tonic with no sugar in
For gin gives me an appetite
That makes me nibble late at night
So, fourteen pounds; that is my goal
A resolution in my soul
But, by the gin, before my eyes
A box - unopened - of mince pies!
Categories:
slimline, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
A Boy,
his Mother named Fred
Is better known to his Friend's
By the caustic nickname
Snipers Dream
Because of the size of his head
Slimline was 2XL all around was constantly eating
Whereas
Fatt's was shaped like a cigarette
and hardly ate at all
Tall Paul was 4 Foot something
Shorty was 6 Foot 6
Poor Boy wanted for nothing
While
Richie Rich had holes in his undies
Chatterbox hardly spoke
Comedy Dave never got a joke's punchline
Pasty had his own sunbed at home
Ladies Man can't talk to girl's
Brain's was born without any
Dumbass gets A*+ in every subject
Big Dick wears shorts in the showers
Roses has bad B.O is scared of soap
Smiley has yellow teeth
Aussy comes from South Africa
Jewish is Muslim
Homeboy is foreign
Each of us love our nickname
We all get along
Not 1 of us take offense
Because true Friendships are built
on a mutual similar sence of humour
Laughing is the best medicine
Categories:
slimline, funny,
Form: Free verse
My shadows staring back at me
but it’s a shadow of its former self
Its looks like someone else’s shadow
it’s not the one that I used to cast
Should I mourn its passing
this missing shadow from my past
or celebrate my new best friend
the shadow I now cast
This new shadow quite slimline
moves with speed across the ground
not a shadow of my former self
but the shadow of who I am
Categories:
slimline, health,
Form: Free verse