Afters

Fourteen pounds; that’s a bucket of lard
And losing that shouldn’t be so hard
It’s turkey, pud and let’s not quibble
A pretty frequent midnight nibble

It’s one whole stone of belly fat
Inflating what was firm and flat
Slimline tonic won’t do that 
So did I eat an alley cat?

Six-point-three-five Kilograms
Twice what sometimes fills our prams
Were I pregnant, for my sins
Could be that I’m toting twins

But I’ve had lots of Christmases
And I’m sure when I tell you this
Six weeks watching what I eat
Will make my tummy nice and neat

The trifle’s gone, as is the meat
All the savoury, all the sweet
It’s time to watch my waist deflate
With smaller servings on my plate

And so I put away the gin
And tonic with no sugar in
For gin gives me an appetite 
That makes me nibble late at night

So, fourteen pounds; that is my goal
A resolution in my soul
But, by the gin, before my eyes 
A box - unopened - of mince pies!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2024



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Date: 1/7/2024 8:58:00 AM
Another Mr Flood beauty…..and another great last-liner! King of the last liners!! Ha….Debx
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M  Avatar
Deb M
Date: 1/8/2024 4:21:00 PM
So naughty!! Hehe
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/8/2024 3:03:00 PM
Thanks, Deb. When I start losing weight, Annie always says there’s nothing to get hold of…. I try to bite my tongue… honest I do ;-)
Date: 1/4/2024 5:24:00 PM
Joining you when all the afters are gone. Great poetry… Belle
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/8/2024 3:02:00 PM
Thanks, Belle. Not much to go now… then it’s bread and water for me!
Date: 1/4/2024 10:29:00 AM
well said, terry, with your usual humorous twist! i'm sure you'll be back in shape in no time, mince pies or not. good luck!
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/4/2024 11:00:00 AM
Thanks, Ilene. Trouble is, nobody knows what to get me for Christmas…SO I GET GIN FROM EVERYONE! What can I say… it would be rude not to drink it. ;-) Terry
Date: 1/4/2024 3:03:00 AM
Terry, for you it was gin, for me it was scotch that gave me the munchies (lol) I liked my occasional taste, but since I gave it up after Christmas...I lost 5 lbs. It's a start.. Best wishes to you, my friend. Happy New Year! Charlie
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/4/2024 10:50:00 AM
I reckon I need to lose somewhere between 14 and 18 pounds. The bit I struggle with is not losing any more but not putting any back on. A happy new year to you too, Charlie. Terry
Date: 1/3/2024 10:41:00 PM
Now everyone is depressed after pigging out. Last year my cousin was telling me about intermittent fasting so I gave it a go and lost two stone before my op. Needless to say I'm back on it, not going to weigh myself for at least a month. I'm determined to put a few extra holes in my belt lol Tom
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/4/2024 10:43:00 AM
I can lose weight really easily, but then people tell me I’m too thin. Sometimes you just can’t win! Cheers, Tom.
Date: 1/3/2024 5:08:00 PM
Eat what you like, Terry. I'll not hold you to any resolution as long as your poetry continues to make so many of us laugh. Hugs.
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Lin Lane
Date: 1/3/2024 5:52:00 PM
Terry, you're jolly enough to Ho Ho Ho as Santa. Don't let weight be a burden to you. Everything in moderation, but have one day a week to reward yourself. I don't mean pig out! lol
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/3/2024 5:48:00 PM
Ah, but, Lin… it’s one thing not being able to see one’s toes, but… nope, I’m not going there. That belly has to go! From past experience, the end of February should see me in a snug T shirt. But if my predicament gave you a giggle… then I’m a happy, plump, fellow… now, where’s that red suit?
Date: 1/3/2024 4:55:00 PM
Fun write and Yes, Terry: I hear you. The after holidays bulge. Almost like you swallowed a boa constrictor. Hey. I’ll have on of those mince meat pies with you, Want some egg nog and dark run to wash it done. LOL SuZ
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Terry Flood
Date: 1/3/2024 4:59:00 PM
I could be so easily tempted, Suzanne, but I fear I might explode! Thanks so much for your visit. Have a fantastic 2024. Terry
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