Funny Slam Poems | Examples
These Funny Slam poems are examples of Slam poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Slam Funny poems written by international poets.
Ain't it Funny how
Lucifer once said to his father
Some certain individuals
No matter how guilty they are
Or evidence doth incriminate them
Always seem to get off
Scott Free
Enough said
Mic Drop
That's all I wished to say
As i am currently off to serve
Scott's sentence now
So due to this unavoidable catastrophe and travesty of justice
I will be most unfortunately out of commission for
the a wee foreseeable while
Hope to be back and see you soon
I'll be back
All depends on if I am prepared to change
And i manage to get parole for good behavior
With again
Ohh so Devilishly glint and glimmer in his eye
Trying his level best not to crack a Smile
Whilst all the while chocking up way
down deep inside
Looking most angelic as if he could sprout
wing's from underneath the ethereal
glowing hallo eminent above his saintly
head
Like butter wouldn't melt on any given
Sunday given up for lent
Funny how
Eco-warrior's , marchers and so
called peaceful protestors
Love nothing more than when
one of their marches descends
Into fighting mindless thuggery and
random violence
So they can then be viewed being
dragged away battered black and blue
Crying foul whilst shouting slogans
out loud with such emotive slurs
As Fascist , Sexiest , Racist and Nazi
By any means necessary at all so long
as it tugs at one's heartstrings
Because if they so believe the cause to
be just then they can justify the means
to the ends
And if they have to bend or don't play
by the official rule's of engagement
then so be it
To me that time and energy would
be far better spent both educating and
imparting knowledge
Via rational engagement , conscience
and considerate debate
That creating conflict and just another
thing to fight about
Eventually i
As naive
/
Stupid as i is
Exposed and solved the clues
Not that they we're in fact
In any way well hidden
Or disguised
My personality lends
itself to being used
I am simply as i appear
to other's
Of use to picking up those
around
In need of such a sap as i
Only to find at later date
When i myself so to indeed
Find myself indeed
Of that which i have been
countless times called upon
to provide
Find myself with only myself
for company
Funny but how predictable
is that
As only i have myself to blame
Yet but cannot stop
Because just maybe
It's the only thing i have got
To offer to this world
She went from hating me
to up for dating me
I led her on most gratefully
and left her there to wait for me
but I did not return
for she's not my concern
so she went back to slandering
as I laughed at the burn
Someone reached out
and asked me
Have you any tool's ?
A question to which i replied
Are you trying to be funny
or facetious
Why apart from me the greatest
tool of them all
So much so it's become my nickname
As i am both a spanner and a nut
and the box
People dig out to use when
in need of release and temporary
fix to plug a shticky connotation
A sort or sense of D.I.Y for those
who can't help themselves
That some feel sorry and pitty
for but deep down i appreciate
As without it or take it away
from me what else would i have
to live for
This is me this is my life but
granted it's not a life for everyone
myself included
But i haven't come across a tool
in my many box of tricks to fix
or repair the few littke nuts i
still have left
Guess something's like bridge's
we're never meant to be fixed
or crossed
Otherwise there would be
1 tool for everything and
only 1 box formed in the
shape of a coffin
Nothing strange as folk
And to sum this up
Funny how its deemed acceptable
to gossip behind people's backs
and embellish stories with non
white lies and to be two faced
Yet still wish to be and are thought
of as a good or nice person
But dare to straight laced and
tell the honest truth not behind
there back but to that persons face
Then do not be surprised if all
those good and nice people who
smile and act politely to your face
The minute your back is turned
tell all and sundry what a horrible
person you are
Whilst just incase the sheepish
think if i agree and nod along they
will not do the same to me
But that ship's already long sailed
no one's off the table but them
your just further down the pecking
order
Saved and banked to be offered
up again when it's a slow gossip day
I am Spartacus
No, i am Spartacus
No, i am Spartacus
So am i
Me ?
No sorry i am just here
For the free bar and buffet
With the world in lockdown
What is left to do ?
But log onto soup
And write about it
It's a sorry state of affairs
In solitary confinement
Such as doing simple math to
while the time away
Like
Counting how many sheets are on
a single toilet roll
Or
How long it takes for a kettle to boil
Or
Just how many repeats there are
these day's on television
It's at times like this i suppose we should be grateful for the internet
Even if it mostly doom and gloom
and tales of woe in our future ahead
With just a smattering of Fake News
for good measure
And 1 or 2 funny videos of cat's and dog's
For the loneliest of them all
With no family or friends
To count upon
I want to buy a racehorse
So i can name it
I want to have some money left
The day after i have been paid
I want to be younger
I want to be thinner
I want to go on a beach holiday
I want to play in the snow
I want to be taken seriously
I want to be funny
I want a relationship
I want my freedom
I want faith
I want to believe
I want
I want
I want
I want
But above all
I want to be WANTED
In the modern age
Of canvassing
Before Political Elections
Isn't it funny ?
How threat's seem to happen
To National Security
So strength and leadership can be
Viewed and manipulated
Into placing your X in a Box
Like a cunning fox
You had me at Scared
The groundwork has been prepared
For total submission
Unequivocally without reason
It's hunting season
And the masses are the target
Are. you a patriot
Hail the all conquering Leader
Are you a true believer
Are you willing to put hate before love
Because you have been provoked to
Are we sheep
Do we bleat
Or do we speak
The voice of 1
Or can we overcome
Or are we valued less
Than gas and oil
And paper money
And conned into propping up it
If you're in need of a helping hand,
better not ask Manu
He don't even help his own mother out,
so you know he ain't gonna help you
Oh, he won't just flat out say no,
he'll tell you he wish he could
Manu has every excuse in the book,
he always got one, and some are pretty good
If it ain't somebody sick in his family,
he's late for something, and he got to run
Excuses, excuses ...
why even bother to ask
He won't lift a finger,
just saying no is a hard enough task
He don't help nobody but himself,
only number uno and no one else
The day is gonna come though,
when Manu will need some assistance,
and no help will be forthcoming
Too bad, too late
Sorry, I can't lend you a hand
when the time comes ...
'Cause I got me a hot future date
Look me in the eye
Get off your phone
I heard you sigh
Now don’t you lie
I see you texting me
I know you know that I can see
No I won’t read just tell me
Jiggling with laughter
Your not that funny
Look me in the face
Don’t drive away
Why don’t you stay
Put that cell away
Your taking me off
Your friends and family
Well what a shame
Perhaps we can meet instead
Have a nice lunch
Talk to me
Learn from me
Don’t scoff at me
I see you cough at me
Don’t choke on your words
Those I can’t hear
Get off the phone
Your ready to steer
Finally you put down the phone
What to talk about
I have nothing to say
Just want to stare into your pretty blues
Why you rolling them that way
Piece of gum attacked my shoe.
My fingers could not release.
Now, my hair is entangled.
Typical Monday!
I guess I will, have to admit
My english ain't that good
But thought I'd find a contest
To win one if I could
But when I started reading
The words found on 'That List'
I instantly realized
There's schooling that I've missed
Is Alouette's some kind of song
I heard, frenchmen sing before
Is Zeugma that exercise
They do while on the floor
Portmanteaus must be a wine
You drink it 'till you can
Recite the alphabet
Like an Abecedarian
Chastuska, must be that blessing
They say after you sneeze
And A Florette's a toi-o-let
That's filled with Potpourri
I know I have a lot to learn
As I journey on life's way
But can't we have a contest
That isn't hard to say
By I Ambic
Something's fishy; really stinks.
You say you found your missing link.
Just six months grant was left to thee.
A monkey bone you named Lucy.
Ignorance to thee is bliss.
Why do monkeys still exist?
You say the earth is just like me.
With part of this, I must agree.
Don't flatter yourself, it's you I mock.
I mean you're all dumb as a rock.
Rejecting God and resurrection.
Unable to answer the age old question.
If you're not simply pulling my leg.
Which came first; the chicken or the egg?