Short Stiffed Poems

Coffee-eyed hive sheet
Full cycle digits to hold
Slash stiffed in Orion...

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There was a stupid chap from North Shore
Who bought Viagra in fifty doses and more.
Confused respecting it function
He took more without compunction.
Now he has trouble exiting his front door....

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1.
Unfortunate for him
Without payment
The mortician feels
That he got stiffed

2.
He felt there was no spark
Left between them
So the electrician went out
And got buzzed

3.
Being alone another night
The butcher stayed home 
And pounded his meat...

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The man I once was
is a visual echo
fading into naught.

There was a time
I felt achingly hollow
and pressingly weighed.
starved and stiffed by doubt,
gone far past the sunken place
to deeps starkly dark.

Eventually, 
time did thin the choking void, 
eventually....

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How Not to Tip

A waitress at the Twisted Fish
Got a tip she did not wish
A tip like she had never seen
A plastic bag of methamphetamine
She call the cops who soon arrested
These “tippers” who were then drug tested
And found to be a wee bit high
Led off to jail bye and bye
Cops took the bag, the waitress’s miffed
She can’t believe that she got stiffed...

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Out drinking with an
Australian girl I knew
We met her friend
Two days away
From inheriting a
Fortune
She insisted we sit down
Outside an Italian place
To eat
She ordered a bowl of
Gnocchi
First time I ever ate it
Two or three mouthfuls
Well wow
& the rich girl to be
Took off & stiffed us
With the bill
& I still eat gnocchi
& I still hate the rich...

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When Boehner invited Netanyahu to address Congress, the prez was miffed!

   Congress didn't notify him and he whined, "By gawd! I was stiffed!"

      Boehner smiled and said, "Sorry, Mr. Prez! This time you get short shrift!"

         "Well, you'll never be invited to fly on Air Force One again!" he sniffed!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2015 All Rights Reserved...

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The Jesus I grew up with was all about love.
Was all about being human.
Was all about contributing what he had.
Was all about encouraging others to contribute what they had
and everyone was so into figuring out how to contribute
they didn't worry about getting stiffed.
And everyone got what they needed 
All were fulfilled.

In my mind
Jesus is occupying Wall Street
and hundreds of thousands of places
where humans dwell miserably
but not without hope....

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A poem for you
In hope my feelings could come through 
A poem where sky would not be blue 
But filled with you 

While knowing I am grey to you 
Wishing I could grow a lotus for no matter how 
tiny bit of a seed it is 
While you have put on emotions of budhha
Making your poem  stiffed with cold 
From the winter that has it's origin from you 
Is this poem bound  for desolation

a failed voyage for me that is adrift 
"By the raging storm of my feelings"...

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Silhouette shadowed upon the shade
While the light behind her casts so bright
Oh, the shape I see, so statuesque
As I stand on this corner, this frigid night

It’s still, but ever so bountiful a form
I cannot believe my eyes as I stare
Is she even dressed or does it matter?
Does this woman see me or even care?

But wait, a hand, pulling on the shade
She will be revealed to my awaiting eyes
What? A mannequin now displayed
Damn! You don’t know how I hate surprise...

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Aborigines on horseback wading
Addicted to the wilderness they trek. 
Through still waters where crocodiles are king,
Their horses chomping at the bits, stiffed neck.
Oh land, kangaroos and wombats grazing.
They seek thrills and thrive on adventures deck.
Two men fearlessly explore nature’s hand.
Knowing in their hearts, their future is grand.

© February 29, 2012

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: A Lil' Bit of Aus... 
Sponsor	Tracie ~*~ Indigo Dreamweaver...

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