Short Pantyhose Poems

I've heard men compared to pantyhose very much.
Either they run or they cling or they don't fit right in the crotch....

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Shiny black expensive leather shoes
No pumps, support pantyhose, nor previous experience 
Just God, talent, pen, paper
First female president...

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Joseph William Namath
was known to be bold and brash
predicted a major Super Bowl upset win
then modeled Beautymist pantyhose with a grin
...

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Once a witch with a wart on her nose,
And with runners in her pantyhose,
Went and traded her broom
For a Hoover vacuum.
Where she hoovered to, nobody knows....

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I like my football, you know how it goes
Who's gonna win?, nobody knows
I sit in my favorite chair
In only my underwear
And a pair of Joe Namath's pantyhose...

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My dumpster's ablaze, it's on fire
To destroy his flames of desire
I've burnt all his clothes
And HER pantyhose
He'd denied affair - damn liar!
...

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Wiggle those toes, baby girl, wiggle those toes.
It is fun to finally get off those scratchy pantyhose.
She laughs with delight, as the spigot drips like a nose.
Tiny drops of water landing with splashes on her happy toes....

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When I was young 
I could cut three holes 
to wear a black garbage bag 
as a mini-skirt over
torn fishnet pantyhose, 
with fishhooks in my ears, 
and I was totally-totally fashionable. 

I do it now 
and invariably someone asks 
if I'm okay 
and do I need help....

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At home, his room was full of pantyhose -
he'd strangled scores of homeless girls and kept
the nylon trophies, each a memory
(reminding him of how they'd begged and wept).
He planned the brunette's murder as she slept...

written 2nd November for Anthony's Darkness contest...

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      "Joe Willie Namath"


Joe Willie Namath
Super Bowl famous
shaved his football legs to sell pantyhose
wore white mink coat on sidelines for camera pose.


Broadway Joe Willie
drinking booze made him silly
on ESPN ..Suzie refused to be kissed
captured on sports video fans booed and hissed.


*For P.D.'S Clerihew Contest....

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I said I’d wake at dawn
And mow the shaggy lawn,
I said I’d clear the shed
And weed the flower  bed,
I said I’d press her clothes
And wash her pantyhose,
I said I’d clean the rooms
And clear the musty fumes,
I said I’d cook the lunch -
But now we reach the crunch:
We’ve ceased to co exist -
I only wrote this list…

For Sara’s What I accomplished Today List contest...

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SUPERMARKET DAZE

Gross overweight reflections

Gleam off stainless steal

Frozen TV. dinners.

Obese mothers Jam

Peppermint suckers down

Their children’s tearful mouth

-temporary peace.

Hamburger helper, pepsi-lite

TV  guide, rovers dog food

-frantic search for penny full bargains.

Torn pantyhose

Wheel aisle after aisle.

 Mountains of pot pies, ice cream, potato chips

Must hurry...

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My friends
Will have ice cream with you in the middle of winter.
Will tell you if you have toilet papper dragging on your shoes
Will tell you if your skirt is tucked in your pantyhose.
Will bake cookies with you.
Will share there lunch money.
Will walk to the corner store with you in the freezeing cold.
Will go bungy jumping with you.
Will tell jokes with you and laugh till your ribs hurt.
I thank my friend for being there for me....

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The Jets' superstar, "Joe Willie Whiteshoes,"

loved baseball, golf, women, and booze.

With bad knees and his sports career dead,

he modeled Hanes pantyhose instead!  


Posted 11/5/12 Now used for  New or Old 4 Contest of Eve Roper

Here is the link you can copy and paste to see
his modeling career with pantyhose!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf3oOQq9KFU

Clerihew rhyme scheme is aabb (no set syllable pattern)...

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