Short Goober Poems

Goober went panning for gold in the creek
 Hot and bothered, needed to take a leak ~
   Goober pulled down his drawers
   His hose produced more and more ~
Cried, "O, my, but doesn't liquid gold reek!"...

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At a drive-thru, I'm asked if they can take my order
“I'd like a coffee with six sugars and no comments, you porkers”
The voice stuttered like a goober
“Did you say SIX SUGARS???”
“You have a problem with that? Look, everyone has their own disorders!”...

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speak up my dear
the class can't hear you 
when you mumble
e-n-u-n-c-i-a-t-e
stand up straight
pull that hair back 
from your face
no wonder no one wants 
to play with you
at recess all you ever do
is sit outside the classroom door
nose in a book
"look, look! it's bug-eyes"
she hears somebody say
"she's such a booger-nosed,
knobby-kneed, goober-dweeb"
she waits . . .
until their voices fade
to wipe her tears 
away...

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Peanuts
Dr. James E. Martin
©December, 2013


Peanuts are known as goober peas
They simply are weirdly named.
After eating more than just a few
One’s gut is usually not tamed.

Peanuts was the childhood name of a girl
Who was sister of a friend of mine.
As she grew older and more serious about life
Her appearance was way beyond fine.

And who can forget the character of cartoons
Who was known by Charlie Brown?
In all the uses described above
They all were joyfully found....

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The woman of the day cables brought us a decorated egg
I would have rather had some ale, in a sturdy looking keg
Our crocodile-like creature wanted to taste the egg of course.
The blue bird of happiness was irritated, we call him Mr. Norse.

A dragon with a striped tummy showed up carrying a sign.
Everyone stand down, the woman yelled, that dragon is all mine.
We had no idea what happened to him, but she was all upset.
Mr. Norse who is a gloomy goober said “she will eat him, I do bet.”...

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The woman of the day cables brought us a decorated egg
I would have rather had some ale, in a sturdy looking keg
Our crocodile-like creature wanted to taste the egg of course.
The blue bird of happiness was irritated, we call him Mr. Norse.

A dragon with a striped tummy showed up carrying a sign.
Everyone stand down, the woman yelled, that dragon is all mine.
We had no idea what happened to him, but she was all upset.
Mr. Norse who is a gloomy goober said “she will eat him, I do bet.”...

Read More