Santa Jack's under the weather so I'm hear to say
Let's all write a limerick or two today
It should be funny
Or a little bit punny
So pull out your pencils and start writing away
Hello Honey, are you feeling sunny
or another day of crummy?
Are you going to be grumpy
because your a little lumpy?
Your still my little hunky
because your always spunky.
I love you my sweet Honey
because your never a dummy!
For my sweet hubby T Reams
I love of girlfriend
She’s so funny and playful.
She has rife calm smiles
When she walks I feel happy
I love my boyfriend
He’s too funny and playful.
He’s calm rife smiles
when he walks I feel happy
written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
Writing another poem,
he broke my heart again.
it’s not from shady actions,
but the love from the amend.
Crying silent tears.
that never healed.
then he opened
quickly broke the seal.
I love him.
I love him.
I can only write those lines.
This is not what I prayed for,
this heartache inside.
The love that used to fix me,
has me too broken to write.
Attention Mr Funny Man
enlighten us clean pun,
Be the sport with thunder thought
Funny man be fun.
We're waiting on ridiculous...
gags and comedy,
The humourous and numerous
jest and parody.
Be a fool and do it cool
with wacky be the dope,
Goosey-like, one not bright
C'mon tell a joke.
For we are girls that need some whirls and
happiness in being,
Win us all with comic sprawl
to chase you when your fleeing.
You do funny things to me
My hand always searching for yours
My eyes looking for every opportunity
To have your skin on mine
But my lips are the worst
In constant crave of a sweet kiss
That'll lingers till the next
Or a demanding fever of kisses
Causing moans to
Consume the silent air
You do funny things to me
Just the thought of your touch
Leaves me breathless and
Causes a stampede
Of heart beats in my chest
some ****ed in the mouth, put blades
He was not absurd
to give us words.
we have given ourselves
to appear more beautiful
to love otherwise
to be perfect
we do not feel alone
+ need to explain
why and how, etc..
all are funny
and finally I do not understand
Where is He in all of this!?
Can it and shout:
Oh, my God!
but I must take care
not be afraid
to forget all the words
me to stay away
because some of they make a love of this things
just for them.
Funny comments on our poems got us working together
Really love receiving your mail
I laugh every time we collaborate
Even though we’re both male* (JOKE)
Never dreamed of a friendship so strong
Don’t know if we will ever meet
Soul mate on Poetry Soup
16th April 2014
* This refers to our collaboration poem 'Our first meeting in the Isle of Man' where I started off as JAN BUT had Previously been STAN
I AM REALLY AND TRULY FEMALE
Darren has written me a poem so I felt I had to reciprocate
Scary, funny and unbelievable scenarios show up there
All my crazy friends dancing while there's a fire on their back
Moreover, you come up to our place
With some snacks and I collapsed there itself
While I be sleeping with a pillow on my bed
Then I wake up on my bed
Actually finding you beside me
I still can't get what was my dream
And I remember every meaningless part
Just to convey everyone who was there while we were actually asleep
So that we laugh hard and make ty memories
I get that feeling in my tummy
When you smile all funny.
Your a dorky boy
And a great friend.
I know our relationship will never end.
You crack jokes every time you get a chance.
And when I see your texts I want to sing and dance.
Your cheesy moves.
Your sooooo smooth
And you make me smile...alot.
And you know exactly what to say.
So you've got a pretty good shot.
7 more days before I'm home, and resting in your arms
800 miles away and you still have your charm.
I like how you tease me.
I love the way you joke
To me your...perfect.
And to me that's no joke
I usually find the taste of coffee
Far too bitter for my taste
But this mocha is smooth
And so sweet
Warm on my lips
And rushing hot on my tongue
Flooding my body with heat
And making me want more
I feel more awake with every sip
But can never get enough
Since mocha coffee is addictive
And if the taste is slightly bitter too
I want it all the more
Author's Note: Do I really like coffee? No. Like the smell, like the ice cream, but tastes icky.
No, this poem is talking about a person. This was written to tease him.
It's funny because he's mocha colored :)
BANDIT RAP RHYME
I am a cat
I sittin on a couch
I wear a mask
My names BANDIT
Ain't nothin wrong wit tat
I got it made
As I rest along side this plaid pillow
I'm a distinguished kitty with fan mail just chillin
Most can't handle it
Got my own Facebook account
Rub my belly and I'll "PuRR"
You'll find me on the couch or in the kitchen
I'll never go outside, I stay indoors
"Meow, meow" I know yall can't stand it
Cause I'm living the life of a BANDIT
FOR CONTEST: Picture Prompt Contest Write Me Something Funny
Sponsored by: Julie Leigh Rodeheaver
Serious things, funny things,
you don't know the good you bring.
You tell me things you'd tell no other.
The right things you say, one after another.
You made me laugh so hard,
I sheded tears of laughter.
I quickly sent you my fond regards,
in hopes I'd see you shortly thereafter.
I'm sorry to hear of you distress.
You must of been in one heck of a mess.
Hands and fingers were not meant to be glued.
How on earth are you to eat your finger food?
You make me smile,
you make me laugh.
You make me feel worthwhile.
You give me all your time and a half.
So I wrote this poem on your behalf.
You Have to Hand it to Couched Bandit
There's a cat just like me
A couched bandit on the spree
Her raccoon eyes hankering for more grub
... and another belly rub
Did I say with baby oil?
For she pre-purrs to be spoiled
Carte blanche in her pocket
Bells and whistles on her docket
For the remote control is hers
The newspaper she'll read first
The conversation she'll hoard
Wield, wield her mighty sword
Fur, fur the couch is all hers
That ... should I say, she pre-purrs
This epiphany glistens !!!
Honey, honey are you listening?
Picture Prompt Contest: Write Me Something Funny - Poetry Contest
The sky is dark, the stars are bright,
And so passes by another night,
Lonely and forlorn, leaving me to
Get through another day without you.
Everything seems to be going right,
Life has never been as carefree and light,
But this joy soon ebbs away like dew,
Because it's all incomplete without you.
To have of you, one fleeting sight,
Scale oceans and countries, I just might,
It's funny what love makes us do,
But I'd do it if it makes me worthy of you.
Of the distance between us inspite,
I yearn to hold you close and tight,
While dreams sprout in my heart anew,
Under this moonlit sky, I wait for you.
Just A Single Red Rose
Just a single red rose
Centered in a clear vase
Symbolizes your love for me
Keeping my heart beating in a perfect pace
Darkness is no longer a lonely place
Just a single red rose
Surrounded by babies breath would symbolize
Your passion and tenderness I feel with every kiss
The warmth of your hands touching my face
As you hold me in your arms, feeling your embrace
A single red rose...
The vividness of color expressed of a TRUE love
Baby, I thank my lucky stars and to God above
For giving me a chance at finding my wonderful man
Because darling, you are TRULY one of a kind!
You are fine with your clothes off or on.
That’s what I tell my man when we alone.
Your body is tight with skin olive bright.
I see you even when I close my eyes at night.
Your eyes are hazel brown.
You are as handsome as a clown.
When you exert, your biceps makes me take a deep breath Samson.
Don’t cut your hair and lose the strength.
This is your best emphasis.
Your muscles enhance everything.
Hugs and kisses on the lips.
So firm, can’t get enough of them.
We are lovers afflicted.
Sponsor: POETESS DARKLY
Contest Name: Funny Face
Entry Date: March 14, 2014
Motif: Best Features
He is one of those from the dark side,
But he is so different from the rest of them.
He isn’t full of anger, dishonesty, or pride.
If he cares for you, he would treat you like a gem.
He keeps those close to him out of harm’s way,
And make sure that they are never sad.
He is good with the children, and will always play;
He is patient with them, and never gets mad.
He is helpful and kind, even if sometimes quiet.
He is funny and full of joy, unlike all of his kin.
While they stir up chaos, he puts down the riot.
He truly has a kind and full heart within.
Though he’s often judged for coming from there,
The dark side didn’t ever seem to affect him.
A man as good as him is really quite rare,
Even here on the light side, where the sky’s never dim.
We were not sudden
Neither are we planned
But all of it happened
After so many nights in a stance
We lose ourselves to anything
I have lost myself in you
Funny how life had played us
Now I’m happy, are you?
The late night eat-outs
The long scooter drives
The movies at dawn
Happiness fazed me
I’ve already given in
Glued my eyes to yours, I’m blinded
My past, our past, let’s blow them away like dust
Destiny, regardless. We are not the norm.
If you ask if we can make this last
I’ll tell you a story that never ends
Together, let’s be sad and happy
You are my EDGE, as I will be your HANGOVER
Life with you will be an imperfect balance
I love you, even if we’re troubled
Even if it doesn’t make sense
I love you… and for loving me… Thank You.
I just realised my eyes were opened
To a reality they have been seeing
Still not knowing what to do
About something I know am doing
And delving into a serious depth
On a surface so deeply shallow in the deep
It marvels me beyond a memory in a flash
But still I see what I see with my eyes blind to the clearly obvious
Tell me what it takes to stand out
And I will show you a lonely road out
Tell me what it takes to have great ideas
And I will show you how crazy wonky you could seem in my eyes
Its a lonely road to the platform of greatness
But its funny how obvious you seem from the top
They only see a tip of the iceberg
But can never see how deep you went down
The deeper you go in the depth of a height
It becomes so high in the deep,
The higher you go in the height of a depth
It then becomes so deep in that height
I do not know?
If I blink, would you blink?
If you blink , would I blink ?
If we blink, would we blink at the same time?
If I blink, I would miss a moment of your funny face
If you blink, You'd miss a moment of my lovely funny face
If we blink, we would miss out on one another
If I blink, you may vanish
If you blink , I may be gone
If we blink , we could diminish
If I blink, I could miss your disturbing gesture's
If you blink, you would miss my funny face I be making back
If we blink, what will we do to amuse each other?
If I blink, what would I do without your dramatic irony?
If you blink , who would call me Drama Queen?
If we blink, what kind of drama will we strive without?
If I blink, you could be gone
If you blink, I could be gone
If we blink , both of us would be gone?
If I blink , Would you blink?
Dare to miss a sec within a blink
It's funny, she thinks.
Funny how you were the one
Begging to be trusted;
in realizing that she didn't.
It's funny, she thinks,
And here's why:
You begged her to trust you
And as the days grew on,
She did exactly that.
But now she's sitting here,
Waiting patiently for your return.
And she's holding on
To a hope that seems futile.
She's crying herself to sleep,
Every single night
Praying you return to her
As you promised you would.
Because when you begged her to trust you,
And she finally did,
You became an important factor in her life,
While to you,
She was nothing but a pass of time.
You meant the world to her,
But you couldn't even give her the time of day.
It's funny, she thinks,
How pathetic she is.
If you were to come back,
She'd accept you in a heartbeat
Because she still trusts you,
And she'll always be waiting.
Two hot "hat" contests on the soup
one for women and the other for men group,
just the name of the hats are original and funny
implying the two genders a-hem anatomy,
They both have axes to grind you can tell
they want you to rant and get mad as hell,
saying I'm from Venus while he's from Mars
while chasing each other to be feathered and tarred,
What they really both need is Aretha Franklin
singing out of respect for each sex over the din,
having them hold hands while she belts out her tune
R-E-S-P-E-C-T she will loudly croon,
Then they'll be huge hugs all around
both sexes hanging up their hats grooving to the sound,
Aretha being awarded for the Nobel Peace Prize
with no more I want to kill you looks in their eyes,
Just some poking fun from me
it doesn't matter if you disagree or agree,
what you'll vent about will be interesting
just hope it doesn't start WW3! :)
Such a sad boy
With sparkling eyes of blue
Mournfully full of pain
For the love he once knew
Torn apart by life and love
Left to forge another way
Not knowing how to simply breathe alone
Much less go on another day
I remember a time of difference
In this sad boy with eyes of blue
The world was all his at his feet
Back then, love wasn’t something really true
Those eyes held a sparkle
A happiness and surety walking tall
With all the girls falling over him
It was always funny to watch him turn in retreat
Now life has had its evil way
Of turning his heart sour
Telling him he’ll forever be alone
STOP LISTENING TO THOSE WORDS OF GAME
You are a rare beauty
Inside and out
You are my friend
Have always been,
I have this to smile about
But when will my sad boy find his smile
Will it be soon or maybe awhile?
All I know is I am your friend
And will be here from now
Until the end.
She hung back from the crowd and went about her way on her own
Besides they were so loud and she didn't really approve of their tone
So she decided to just stay back and marvel such things at her pace
And for this she had a certain knack in each visit in every other place
She didn't feel the need to rush as so quietly she wondered along
So peacefully in such a quiet hush away from such a loud throng
Allowing her mind to wonder about and discover so many new things
As sometimes we need to step out and enjoy what life truly brings
They kept calling back to her as she even began slowing them down
Come back to where you were, said the tour leader with a big frown
But she didn't listen to that general speech as she heard it all before
For the truth he could not preach and that was what was at her core
See, she could see all His Glory yet this man gave God none of the credit
He was telling a whole other story, almost funny but not to God one bit
But this woman was giving God praise, she was fully aware of His Name
Because no matter the days she wasn't going to share in their shame