Don Rickles
His insults clang like nickels
Being mean was his art form
But he was known as Mr. Warmth
~ To the tune of:
'Where Have All the Flowers Gone?' ~
Where have all the comics gone
Long time passing
Milton Berle and Alan King
Long time did their thing
Where have all their insults gone
Long time passing
Don Rickles and Groucho Marx
Echo in empty parks
Where has all the slapstick gone
Long time passing
Larry, Moe, and Curly Joe
Gave way to milquetoast shows
Where have all the tap dancers gone
Sammy Davis, Donald O’Connor
Bumpers and grinders of today
Do the greats a dishonor
Where have all the comics gone
Georgie Jessel and George Burns
Gone the way of Romantic poets’ poems
~ Like Keats’ ‘Ode to a Grecian Urn’
April 20—Standup Comedy – The Insult Comedy Tour!
How and why he
Remains so popular
With some Americans
Remains a mystery.
He remains me
Of an old-time insult
Comedian, Don Rickles
Who was infamous
For insulting his audience
Who loved his edgy comic stylings,
As he cruelly mocked
everything and everyone.
But, over time, people got tired
of his routine
And his style of humor faded away
But he has resurrected
The insult comedy routine.
Going to his rallies
Is akin to a religious revival
For some people.
They delight in being
Part of his whole mad
Carnival scene.
but for many of us
the T comedy tour
is no longer funny
if it ever was.
The late great comic legend, Don Rickles
never failed to deliver belly-busting giggles
He always served his dish of comedy raw
His insult jokes stung, yet made one guffaw
Date written: 06/21/2020
My wife is even worse than Aunt Bee when she makes pickles.
She gave some to some celebrities and that's what killed Don Rickles.
When people eat her pickles, they turn green and puke.
Then they want to fight, they tell me to put up my dukes.
My wife sells her pickles at our convenience store.
When people eat them, they don't shop there anymore.
People criticize her pickles and she thinks they're being mean.
But just like Aunt Bee's pickles, they taste just like kerosene.
If you're smart, you'll take some sage advice from me.
Stay away from her pickles if you want to stay healthy.
I have a rare disorder that causes me to see everyone in the cast of any submarine movie as Don Rickles. Every bloody person is Don Rickles. Once saw a submarine movie wherein a woman was saved from a sinking ship and the captain on the submarine made love to her and they both were Don Rickles.
Warning, if you are under 60 you may not "get" some of these.
Mohammad Ali
taunting with poetry,
his opponents he'd zing
as he danced 'bout the ring.
Graham Kerr "The Galloping Gourmet"
oft with our minds he would play.
Why else would he pick
the dessert "Spotted Dick"?
Ichabod Crane
rode down rode down the lane.
From the Headless Horseman he'd flee
while on his saddle he peed.
Abbot & Costello,
two funny fellows
were very immersed
into whose on first.
Ed Norton
couldn't laugh without snortin'
which would quickly annoy
old Ralph Boy!
Professor Irwin Corey
told confusing stories,
You'd listen and listen till your eyeballs would glisyen
and not understand what you're missin'
Don Rickles
would offer a nose full of nickels
and got plenty of yuks calling you a schmuck
and dumb as a hockey puck.
Giuseppe "Peppino" Mazzullo,
the voice of Topo Gigio
on Ed's final night
said "Eddie, kessa me goo' night!"
Jack Benny
wouldn't lend you a penny
nor spend a dime -
died when he was 80 at the age of 39.
Joseph Rickles
Liked dill pickles
To Rickles their wonderful taste was delicious
What they did to his face was simply malicious.
There is a comic known as Don Rickles
Whose withering wit our ribs he tickles
Some people take great offense
When skewered at their expense
Leaving them as dour as sour dill pickles
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Placed No. 3 in PD's "Pickles & Tickles Limerick Craze" Contest - November 2010
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