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Rest In Pieces
BUTCHER PETE
In the vault below lies the mince, of butcher Pete
Got dragged into a meat processor by the soles of his feet.
RADIOACTIVE SCUM
The Russian soldiers who stormed Chernobyl, are buried in lead coffins below.
And in the dark of night you can see, their radioactive glow.
FARMER MURRAY
Here lies the 'aromatic' remains of the farmer Sid Murray
Missed his footing and drowned in a vat of cow slurry.
PUTIN
At his victory parade in Red Square Putin, had a fatal heart attack
And the inscription on his headstone reads, Karma will always get you back.
MANUEL
Below are buried the pieces of Manuel from Havana
Went swimming and got eaten by a shoal of piranha.
SID
A bookcase containing books about the paranormal and death
Toppled over onto Sid the librarian, and they haven't found his body yet.
JIM
Jim the electric clock maker got electrocuted and died.
It seems that for poor Jim, time was not on his side.
BROWN BREAD ED
Baker Ed fell into his hot oven, and was baked with the dough
And all the mourners were given, a slice as a memento.
LION TAMER FRED
In this vault lies the headless body of lion tamer Fred
Who stumbled onto a lions mouth and who then bit off his head.
ARCHIBALD DE WITT
The world famous conductor Sir Archibald De Witt
Was hit with the arm of a trombone and fell dead in the pit.
Written 27th April 2022.
Copyright ©
Tom Cunningham
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