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When urinating into the toilet bowl

When urinating into the toilet bowl...

yours truly (me) could not help but notice
while living social at various residences  
within Montgomery County, Pennsylvania
the following described phenomena 
actually observed quite some time ago
maybe back during
my carefree boyhood days of yore
that the uncontrollable spurt
analogous to a golden arch
of micturition arcing
toward parts unknown
(frequently missing the target altogether, 

and wetting the seat
subsequently displeasing the next person
more often than not the missus,
who sits upon wet porcelain goddess)
initially issuing from out
my diminutive male member,
(even when fully erect,
no longer than 
a small walking stick 
for a lucky leprechaun),
when said jet stream
makes splashy contact

affecting fountainhead into pissoir,
whereby a bathroom 
tchotchke of Atlas shrugged, 
which non verbal reaction spoke volumes,
the direction water got flushed within potty
subsequently clearly described
a clockwise pattern
whooshing within the labyrinth
eventually getting routed 
to wastewater treatment plant
at least here within the bowels
of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually even after flushing,
or using the sink to wash hands,
the water also drained
mimicking rotation of second
or minute hands of analog time pieces.

After finding myself 
flush with excitement
presuming I discovered 
some great earth shaking revelation,
a Google search quickly 
and immediately chastened 
premature ejaculation of excitement
that yours truly stumbled 
upon magnificent phenomena
and matter of factly explained 
the direction a toilet flushes, 
whether clockwise or counterclockwise, 

primarily determined 
by the design of the toilet bowl 
and the water jet's direction, 
not by the Earth's rotation 
(Coriolis force), which often mistakenly 
believed to be the cause;
meaning the flush direction 
can vary even within the same hemisphere 
due to different toilet designs, 
not necessarily consistent 
with the "clockwise 
in the Northern Hemisphere" myth.

Copyright © Matthew Harris

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