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Taxes, Fees and Surcharges Ad Infinitum!

Along with other assorted mail, I received the telephone bill today.
I thoroughly examined it and discovered much to my dismay,
A bewildering assortment of taxes, fees and sundry charges.
It seems that with each passing month the confounded list enlarges!

A new fee was added called "The Low Income Phone Assistance Fund."
This was perplexing, leaving me thoroughly outraged and stunned!
Am I paying for some kid to play games and text on his cellular phone?
I'm donating seven cents for that outrageous fund - more than I condone!

I'm paying eleven cents for something called a "Facility Relocation Recovery Fee."
I suppose that goes to support another superfluous government entity!
Six bucks is the usurious rate I pay for the "Federal Access Taxation!"
Access to what, I ask?  I sure would appreciate an explanation!

I'm assessed a dollar for "State and Federal Universal Service Fees."
All these taxes, fees and surcharges really put me in a squeeze!
There are more county, state and federal taxes on top of all of this.
If new fees aren't added next month, they'll surely be remiss!

In evaluating my monthly statement I've come to this conclusion:
The government, phone company and public utilities are in collusion,
Hiring hordes of MBAs to concoct taxes, fees and charges ad infinitum!
I reckon that's the cost of owning a phone - alas, we can't do without 'em!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)

Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw

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