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Down the rabbit hole kicking
Dull thud of daylight, I trust you
Boredom, I welcome you
I dare catch my bitter eyes in the mirror
Warm solidity recognizing myself within
I am not happy
But I exist
Have you ever rejected the world?
Refused it, just denied any semblance of acceptance
Raised a middle finger protesting some inapplicable idea of fairness
Simply stopped moving, unable to cognize the fog of difficulty descending
Splintered yourself past remembering how the pieces fit
Closed emotion and awareness, let loose an automaton
Desired only distance and distraction
To freeze over and disappear
And succeeded
Disturbing questions haunt the flickering phantasm awareness becomes
A maddening funhouse…rolling, shaking, jerking on a broken circuit
Stillborn memories fly by
Detachment deteriorates into a disconcerting duality of identity
Observing a mysterious entity conduct daily life…
…that obscure movie blurs into the present periodically
Emotions rotate like slides speeding through a projector
Skipping by ignored or sticking, enlarged, inordinately long
Paranoia…no thought or perception can be verified, validated
No place to be.
Reassembling body, mind, heart and soul as one
Emotion finally haven given knowledge open access to remodel
Identifying a course of action
Plotting a trail of ever more forgiving tasks
Back to standing up a little straighter
Awake, witnessing the reliable sky…invaluable
Accept
Copyright ©
Payge Terner
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