The Screaming Souls of a Soundless Forest
I romanticize the single room without a jurisdiction
If only I could filter through a voice of logic over reaction
Would it impel my inner child to regress into an illusion?
My mind composes a structure but it’s just a series of buildings
Some of them unfrequented, some of them abandoned
Some of them radiant, some of them overly confident
But a shy whisper in the form of a wind gust,
could sway the structures built on purely mistrust
And it's too easy to hide
within the claw marks of moss coating the entire outside
Don't speak for both of us
Don't speak at all
I will announce that on my own, I will handle this
But like the slow drips of attention from you,
Any progress will only come in ounces
If rejection is god’s protection,
Then why do I reject the healing process?
Don't speak for both of us
Better yet, don’t speak at all
Well everything's the same, just more desolate
It's quiet but I can hear your voice ringing between the skyscraper windows
The mutters under my breath carry like wind and turn into bellows
And your energy I've been feeding off of
Swims for miles through the power lines
When everything goes dark, you'll know I turned it off
But my tolerance is as far as the eye can see!
So light is what I’ll keep bringing to this
But the edges are too jagged of the fluorescent tubes of cognitive dissonance
And something keeps attaching the messages to birds that I keep finding
You ignore me,
well I already ignored the world for half a decade
These blurred lines of affection merely look the same
Full body cast, no hospital bed
Ambulance fee, driving off cliffs instead
Prognosis; antisocial,
Something we never could've learned in school
Wish me a happy birthday for old times sake
So many shrinking candles on a time-line of cakes,
all these wavering voices of attention just sound the same
But wish me a happy birthday for my inner child’s sake
Congrats, it was a test and you failed
The destructive silence from my phone tells me nothings changed
Congrats, it was a test and you failed
But I watched you leave everything behind and conform
You said this book is over, but something keeps attaching these messages to birds
Why did I feel so alienated when it was my hand reaching out?
It feels like middle school gym class and you’re the heroes picking teams
Everyone’s projected injustice worked to fuel you eminently
But no one was looking in my eyes when I was angry
I’m trying to capture a feeling that never belonged to me
If this is how you want this to end,
Then pull the plug, but first, make sure it’s seized around my neck
I’m eating my heart for sustenance
I’m draining my brain onto the journal page for evidence
I’m sleepwalking through this nightmare
While your sprinting through my town of dreams
On an weather-shifting island called cognitive dissonance
Remember when I asked if you’d stand and watch it burn with me?
I was hardly looking for one,
But your cold and anxious lips
Seduced the answer I was shielding myself from
Self reliant or too parentified?
I’m afraid I lost the part of me that looked at the world composedly
“You’re never too young to be aware of your own impact”
But I wasn’t too young to be manipulated
Into building castles of stone from the weight on your back?
What I could carry was overlooked anyways
I couldn’t hold the compass, so I was left spinning in every direction
I couldn’t hold the needle, cause your toxic acquisitions were enough of an injection
What I could carry was always overlooked anyways
It's a day in the life of a failure
Every wisp of the pen just keeps giving you more power
I’m a prisoner awaiting a death sentence,
chained to the walls of the incentive
“You’re never too young to be aware of your own impact”
But why do you have to take my pride
just so you can have yours back?
Copyright ©
Matthew Bailey
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