|
| |
Traumatic brain injury headaches
I shan't try and be witty an engage in the norm
peeking through such pain my eyes see dim
as crushing temporal lesion push against
soft tissue endings pounding my optic nerves
from my forehead to the nape up my neck
my shoulders are tense a strange taste emerges
in my mouth a small night light pierces my pupils
causing a pavilion of sparks shrieking agony
I reach for respite a desperate desire had I
injected my Emgality pin a bit earlier perhaps
removing some of the throbbing I shrill cringe
my skull began biting my brain why reminding
it of the brain injury sudden memories float
tip toes across my mind my self conscious
remains silent vague awaiting a certain
movement of my eye again tense matter
sensitivity to sound light taste smell my brain
swells I pop a Ubrelvy some relief is felt like
warm hands is massaging my brain just
enough to get me back to my neurologist
a white coat floral crocks my blood pressure
is sky rocketing grace emerges twelve injections
four in the back of my head on each side
of my brain stem connecting my optic nerve
ah instance numbing the nerve she carefully
approaches my temporal lobe two on the
right side swiftly she moves to the left side
two more injections finally the finale my head
filled warm as she gracefully moves to the
frontal lobes right over both eyes two on
each side above the brow I brace myself
she tells me to breath I sigh feeling no pain
these last three weeks as my emergency
medications are on stand by until the
twenty four Botox injection my head feels
like a pin cushion but do not remove
not one of them I call them my crown of thorns
because I died that day these crushing
traumatic brain injury pains are so intense
I could actually slip into a coma or have
a traumatic seizure gripping torment crippling
affliction covering my eyes removing all light
I can't stand paralyzed strain exertion coping
the modern medicines Lyrica Gabapenten
Meloxacam cyclobenzaprine Tizanadine baclofen
tramadol what is pain shrewd interruption of ones
life altering sight a creeping bondage holding your
mind and body hostage I pray for relief I'd also prayed
for death to end the suffering thanking God for great doctors
saving my life keeping me alive keeping me functioning
since this dreadful death occur they call TBI damaged
nerves endings traumatic brain injury coping with a dying
brain a brain that some day will stop telling you that you
are awake a brain unable to stay awake without medication
Narcolepsy is like the brain taken several uncontrollable
sudden 8 to ten minute naps reliving traumatic events
insurance companies lawyers total disability as funds were
being embezzle by a criminal group taking orders from the
mafia left overs from the Chicago outfit that blew my brains
out for wearing wires pregnant for the FBI the IED is actually
called a Cicero tied to the garment district of Detroit hoodlums
merging with Milwaukee casino crime rackets signature bombings
afraid i would rat them out about the arson murders of nine
elderly persons when in fact i was in hiding just a mom writing
poetry gardening coping with panic anxiety and depression
go figure right as I fought to taste see smell and feel captured
in sheer torture wrath malice personal injury pain and suffering
I'd written an autobiography which was rewarding and painful
I found comfort in writing poetry everyday uncontrollable
because I was truly afraid my brain would die so I wrote while
these bullies then blew up my skull began trying to extort
racketeer intimidate embezzle bully me for my mental health
journal and my American poetry desperate writing to keep
my brain alive somehow fight flight since 2003 my world
halted my skull my face my eye socket nasal arch was crushed
by a Cicero car bomb over my American poetry blessings
against all odds I survived this horrid yet tangible blast
as ongoing traumatic headaches the pain continues to last
Copyright ©
Yolanda Nicholsen
|
|