It's strange how you don't lose yourself all at once
It's strange how you don't lose yourself all at once, but slowly, like a shadow that slips away unnoticed,
One morning you wake up and you're just... someone else, a stranger in your own story,
The motivation, the discipline, the routines you once clung to have vanished like the smoke of a memory,
That version of you, full of willpower, who believed in something, who stood up for yourself every day...
Now seems like a distant memory, a ghost of what once was,
And no matter how hard you try, no matter how many promises you make to pull yourself together,
You keep slipping, like sand through your fingers, hating every moment,
Your brain turns against you, reminding you of everything you've become and what you no longer are.
You wonder where that person went, the one who fought, dreamed, cared for the world,
But there's no clear answer, just a painful void and a mind full of noise,
And the worst part? You know this isn't what you want, this isn't you,
But somehow you've lost control and you don't know how to go back or if you even can.
You plan, hope, tell yourself you'll be better tomorrow, but when tomorrow comes,
The burden is still there, the fog in your mind doesn't let you do anything,
You keep asking where that person went... the one who fought harder,
You miss them terribly, you miss the fire in their eyes,
The way they kept fighting even when it was tough.
But now, even the smallest tasks seem like mountains to climb,
Even joy seems... faded, a pale light of what it once was,
You try to mask it, laugh when you have to, say you're okay when you're not,
But deep down, you feel you've drifted so far from who you were,
And even further from who you wanted to become.
And honestly? You're scared. Scared that you won't find the way back,
That this version of you... the tired one, the lost one... might be all that's left.
Copyright ©
Dan Enache
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