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No Lentil Beans Before Bedtime Unless Blast Off One
No lentil beans before bedtime unless...
(alternately titled: unrelenting flatulence)
Ya wanna count bajillion sheep,
but tween gluteus maximus powerful
natural gas explosions during sleep
(ass suspected source) – courtesy missus
she served me lentil beans piled outsize heap
sinister been off fish shunt ploy
spouse I may no longer keep,
cuz dream house went up in flames
reduced to ashes smoldering (Uriah hit) heap
an feeble attempt made to extinguish courtesy
urination which suddenly found me awoke
moments ago groggily awakened out deep
slumber out requisite snooze,
cuz I bean dog tired exhausted fuel
driving one clunky body electric jeep
wee hours way after midnight night owl
in case ya give fig yore hot heave hoot
blasted tremendously nonstop
rendering air to smell foul
while my little chickadee evinced similar
disposition, she too did pepper her muttering
with expletives, and did growl
snarling evidenced yours truly espied scowl
unrepentant and threatened to apply dowel
well, I need not specify, "a" specific vowel
one cheeky spouse,
would find yours truly to howl
no pretty picture me bean
while slowly turning unnatural green,
henceforth rushed to emergency room
whereby team of alien specialists,
who casually did primp and preen
mistaking convincingly verdant colored
hue man as martian ready for Halloween,
and said practitioners loathe to intervene
reckoning yours truly -
with other worldly mien,
Copyright ©
Matthew Harris
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