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I Couldn’t Find Myself In The Mix

I couldn’t find myself in the mix, 
My reflection got lost in the middle, 
Have I still the face of a kid? 
Life doesn’t play by the rules, 
Don’t resist, 
Driving my mind with a complexion,
Who am I kidding, 
A complexion I ain’t even trying to fix. 
I tried to rewind on my approach, 
But pothole pits just kept slowing me down. 
I grew up a product of my home town, 
I did, 
A father’s torment was my growth, 
How? 
Haven’t seen him in a minute, 
He conducts the instruments that make my mind spin. 
I fantasise the oddest, 
Dreaming of being lowered down, 
Six feet underground. 
I don’t understand these thoughts, 
‘That’s the point’ he thinks. 
Dissociating from this life I won’t miss, 
However you cope with this. 
You, 
Your problems, 
Don’t amend me to Your guest lists. 

Celebrate clarity with a toast, 
Liquid meets lips, 
A tender kiss. 
But I’ve no one else in the mix, 
Friends barely know what this feeling is. 
Spent a week alone on the coast. 
Everyday; 
I Guess, 
Was bliss.  

Copyright © R.P. Grcic

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Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry