The Ballad of Villonia Beebe, a Life In Three Parts: Part 3
Obituary
The following notice recently appeared in the Toad Suck Monthly News Express. The management apologizes for the tardiness of its publication:
Ms. Villonia Beebe has passed away,
She was Toad Suck's most famous attraction.
Born May 26, 1900,
Died May 26, 2023,
A century plus of pert near continuous action.
She was born and raised in Arkansas,
And lived most of her life in the Hollows.
Beauty queen at eleven,
Mother of seven,
Her children are listed as follows:
Homer, Jr. joined a sex cult in 1951;
Jasper's an internet parson;
Bobby Lee had a small part in "Nuns on the Run";
Hank's doing 20 for arson;
Tabby's on welfare, with three kids of her own,
And another one due any day;
Ruth is a madam in Juneau or Nome;
And Jolene works with Cirque du Soleil.
Homer, Sr., her husband, had a nice little still
Where he kept corn likker a-brewin'.
His body was found one day in the swamp,
Looked like the hogs had got to him.
Louetta Buford, her friend, who discovered the corpse,
Said, "Vee's countenance could not have been calmer."
The coroner noted she was so full of 'shine,
He doubted he'd have to embalm her.
Funeral services will be held on Saturday at the On the Seventh Day He Rested Cause He Was Plum Wore Out Evangelical Baptist Church. A potluck covered dish reception to follow in the church Rec Hall.
Copyright ©
Jim Slaughter
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