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Everything Fell To Pieces Today
Everything fell to pieces today.
His patience wore as thin as the hair follicles atop the head of an elder.
My endurance for this pain is bare and non-existent.
I had absolute no warning of such an uproar, but when is that ever given?
His anger bursts are something movies portray.
But such lasting repercussions I am left to sit with.
They delve deeper than my darkest days of physical pain.
His unleashings have caused more duress than the hospitializtion I've endured from major surgeries.
These wounds feel worse than all my childhood bullies, for it was him I always feared to come home to.
This pain is different and is of a profound detriment to my self esteem.
Indescribable to an outsider unless they could closely relate.
No place seems far enough from the effects of his wrath.
I dream of leaving this all and finding some place quiet, quaint and safe.
Undisturbed and free and in the midst of all encompassing peace.
In my lowest times I feel incapable of socializing, tending to my needs,
or anything of productivity when my very being is unsafe.
When circumstances are as grey as they are I seek pure isolation.
But I have realized that to a degree that only catapults me further into shadow.
I am learning how to transmute my discomfort and anger into art,
And how to not attach myself to the negative stories of my past.
I desperately seek to flee and to feel the wind by my side guiding me.
Copyright ©
Faeryn Jane
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