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Love Me, Save Me

No one is willing to answer my phone calls unfortunately
Nobody cares to save me or love me deliberately
I’m sorry, this is how I tremendously feel
But, of course, obviously, it’s no big deal

Negativity wraps around my neck like a scarf would irrationally
Love me, save me and keep me safe, bravery from within
Positivity needs to come rescue me from the flames of uncertainty
Love me, save me and seek my face, inner grace and cover my sin

Love from above weaves miracles in my life
While hatred and gossip ends up with strife
We all know I have screwed up greatly
So, please forgive me once more maybe?

I have gambled with my money again
I have won something, but I still losing hope and faith — where do I begin?
Doubt drowns me, desperately trying to please Him from on high
But, my addictions and my afflictions and my inflictions of painful pleasure makes my joy dry

I’m unapologetic that I’m stronger than I realize and I’m not a failure at all…though I feel utter regret
Ironically, I feel weak and bleak and cannot speak, even if I did win that damn lottery ticket

I still hear my voices, echoing in my wearisome brain
Saying everyone hates me and everyone’s after me, after me
I still trying to survive the aches, driven extremely insane
Repaying my abominations and giving it my all to be free

It’s a disaster, living in my skin of sullen sulking and revolting lamentation deeply
I served the wrong master, thinking I had good motives and intentions — I manipulated my way toward home
It’s a pity really that I had to transform into this monster of blasphemy and atrocity 
I deserve to die for the wrongs I’ve done heartlessly and I deserve to be on my own…a worthless wanderer with no where to roam

I just want to numb the sorrows of dismay
I started off this lovely month of April on a remarkable start
Then, I messed up once more in disarray
I discarded His truth and wisdom and thought it smart

Well, guess what? I’m without a trace…
I’m denser than a mule, walking miles and miles away from its habitation
I know I have acted like a total nutcase 
I acted more ridiculous and dumb than ten million foolish men, jumping the gun

Cuz I’m done…I’m done acting like a selfish, anguished man that lost his mind train
Cuz I’m done…I’m gone away like a stubborn, rebellious guy who ends up in prison in vain
Cuz I have won back my faith and hope in Him and it will always remain that way
As long as I don’t turn back and go back to my addictive behavior both night and day

I want to stay loyal to You
I don’t care what I did in the past of rue
What I have been through
Doesn’t matter anymore, as long as I please You, true

Motionless melodies and heavenly harmonies blend sweet like vanilla cream and the finest coffee
Thanks to God and His angels who I have set me free from misery and making me feel a little more happy!
You see? Even as broken and shameful I was before,
You can still survive and thrive to the core all the more

And gain His saving, beloved grace
And embrace a tranquility’s trustworthy trace 
And pray away the pain of yesterday’s mistakes
Love me, save me, believe in me, grieve not till the dawn awakes

Holding you close like poetry and prose
Feel your glimmering, glistening, glorious and grand grace in front of my fretful, grimacing face
Saw sweat below your poise, pretty nose
Reveal to me a way to undeal my cards of bad luck and give me a gracious trace

Copyright © J.W. Earnings

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things