free to feel the way I feel
You don’t know how it feels
To be misunderstood and jaded
You won’t ever know till it kills you inside
To you, I speak words of wisdom
And it feels like I’m a million miles away
Just to feel isolated and reach out to nothingness
All these feels I feel, I feel, feel
They are as sturdy as fine steel
Believe in me and grieve not, love of mine
Beloved and darling angel — you’re so fine
And someone will love you like I do
Someone will hate you and it’s true —
You will fail, but will succeed later on in life
I’m sorry for you and your life of strife…that stabs you like a jagged knife
Heal us all, oh Lord, oh Father, oh God
You’re my shield and You’re my rod
I nod horizontally and vertically because I’m overwhelmed with mixed emotions
A current in a thousand oceans…with chaos and commotions and pangs of painful potions and long lost devotions…
Demolish that anguish inside
Wish you well as you subside
For now,
Somehow…
I take a vow
I know
I should let go
Though…
I can’t right now
You bestow
Blessings upon me anyhow
Miracles upon you in the now
Blessed breeze will blow
I can’t let go…I’m sorry…
I pray you’ll be safe and sound
While I’m left behind on the ground
With my knees scattered like bones in the desert of lies
Crooked with your lullabies in my brain of your goodbyes
My feels are unhealed for now…
I’m not trying to be holier than thou
I’m sorry I let You down once more
There is more happiness and hope in store
Romantic and manic…
Considered schizophrenic
There is calm in the panicky past of mine
It becomes serpentine
To me like the taste of sugar and wine
It’s like a vine without its grapes
Your harshness rapes my mind with rue
I grew acquainted to accusations of you
Maybe I should outgrow your negativity by now
I vow you won’t be the sweat upon my brow
Fiery desire and inevitable ire tires my soul
Your empire of pain strangles me alive
Passion and compassion interlace in my skull
As a whole, we are beautiful and will survive
Rivers and rhythms of your heartbeat
Roams around in my mindset of regret
It upsets me that your tears overflow
I know you’re not alone, you know? Just know…
You are the aftershocks of surviving a trial
You are the rainbow after the storm of denial
Vile vanity and impulsive profanity — a fallen angel that cannot be free
The envy of the devil engulfed inside all of me…I just want to be full of glee
Maybe, for an eternity and beyond of unconditional, endearing love
As long as we fulfill our fretless, hopefulness bond I am fond of
I follow your footsteps into the unknown
Say something to lift me up for once
I borrow blissfulness from you on my own
Stray away from the darkness below
Beneath the surface, there’s a rainbow
That glows and flows like a river does
Was I too much for you? I’m sorry if I was
Was I truly too much to bear?
Do you even care anymore?
You’re the one I simply adore…
Change is a challenging chore
To the deepest, troublesome core
But, what for if you abandon me so?
Heal me
Embrace me with hope
I can cope with this disasterous, uncanny sensations
As long as you live life to the best of your ability
Heal you
Heal the rue that creeps in on us
Deliver us from fears
As it appears
We are souls that preserve perseverance
Reassured that everything will be just fine
As long as you dine with me, my divine angel of mine
Cry no more, fly all the more
Try to try again and try to try till you can’t do it anymore…
I curse the dust I have become
I have become awfully numb and frankly dumb
Like coke and rum into the drunkard’s mouth of mischief and troublesome, terrible addictive behavior beyond immature and ludicrous
I’m harnessing woe instead of wrapping myself in hope…hope you shine like the sun of vivaciousness
I’m oddly satisfied with this poem
I will keep it within like a Gemini’s gentility and gracious gem
I’m fondly admiring you from afar and I’m wondering where you are
I wish I could reach out to you, your shooting star of scars… woah, how you travel so far…
Unfold my unbearably unbeatable wings of unstoppable invincibility
I hide and abide by His side and subside from Satan’s tide and I crucified the feelings of wanting to cry over you
Copyright ©
J.W. Earnings
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