Beware the Ides of March 2023
Beware The Ides of March 2023
Ides simply referred to first new moon,
which usually fell between
the thirteenth and fifteenth day
of a given month.
The following events all occurred
fifteenth of March
across span of millenniums.
One: Assassination of fifty five year old
Julius Caesar, 44 Before Common Era
Two thousand and sixty seven years ago
conspirators led by Marcus Junius Brutus
stab dictator-for-life Julius Caesar
to death before the Roman senate.
Two: A Raid on Southern England,
1360 Anno Domini.
A French raiding party begins
a 48-hour spree of rape, pillage and murder
in southern England.
King Edward III interrupts
his own pillaging spree in France
to launch reprisals,
writes historian Barbara Tuchman,
“on discovering that the French
could act as viciously in his realm
as the English did in France.”
Three: Samoan Cyclone, 1889
A cyclone wrecks six warships—
three U.S., three German—
in the harbor at Apia, Samoa,
leaving more than 200 sailors dead.
(On the other hand,
the ships represented
each nation’s show of force
in a competition to see
who would annex Samoan islands;
the disaster averted a likely war).
Four: Czar Nicholas II
abdicates his throne, 1917
Czar Nicholas II of Russia
signs his abdication papers,
ending a 304-year-old royal dynasty
and ushering in Bolshevik rule.
He and his family taken captive
and, in July 1918, executed
before a firing squad.
Five: Germany Occupies Czechoslovakia, 1939
Just six months after
Czechoslovak leaders ceded Sudetenland,
Nazi troops seize provinces
of Bohemia and Moravia,
effectively wiping Czechoslovakia
off the map.
Six: A Deadly Blizzard
on the Great Plains, 1941
A Saturday-night blizzard
strikes northern Great Plains,
leaving at least 60 people dead
in North Dakota and Minnesota
and six more
in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.
A light evening snow
did not deter people from going out—
“after all, Saturday night
meant time for socializing,”
Diane Boit of Hendrum, Minnesota,
would recall—but “suddenly
the wind switched,
and a rumbling sound
could be heard as
60 mile-an-hour winds
swept down out of the north.”
Seven: World Record Rainfall, 1952
Rain falls on Indian Ocean island
of La Réunion—and keeps falling,
hard enough to register world’s
most voluminous 24-hour rainfall: 73.62 inches.
Eight: CBS Cancels
the “Ed Sullivan Show,” 1971
Word leaks that CBS-TV
cancelled “The Ed Sullivan Show”
after 23 years on the network,
which also dumped Red Skelton
and Jackie Gleason
in the preceding month.
A generation mourns.
Nine: Disappearing Ozone Layer, 1988
NASA reports the ozone layer
over Northern Hemisphere
depleted three times faster than predicted.
Ten: A New Global Health Scare, 2003
After accumulating reports
of a mysterious respiratory disease
afflicting patients and healthcare workers
in China, Vietnam, Hong Kong,
Singapore and Canada,
the World Health Organization
issues a heightened global health alert.
The disease became famous
under the acronym SARS
(for Sudden Acute Respiratory Syndrome).
Elemental forces of style at large
which indiscriminate merciless whims extant
ask Homer Simpson or Marge
g'head and even tap
a local, county, or state Sarge
gent on the shoulder, cuz
he or she would moost likely agree
that this Month predicated
on The Gregorian calendar me
didst axe Mister Google,
(who whiz courtesy enough prithee)
to validate premise about
when Time Construct came a boot re:
(named after Pope Gregory XIII, who
introduced it in October fifteen eighty two)
from that date to present,
the most widely
Attention Network Test (ANT) queue
test used civil calendar,
(though feel welcome to challenge above)
and when brand new
(involved approximately
0.002% correction knew
this margin of error in length
of Julian calendar year) allowing hue
man accurate measurement passage
as days, weeks, months...elapsed
unimportant to the average Joe,
(not quite five hundred years ago)
returning home on his emu
no matter male gendered
wordsmith named Matthew
cuz this flightless fast-running bird dinned,
poe whit lorry yet (wannabe)
nose tubby directed related door sill finned
and after posting blurb held pinned
regarding veracity of information
dog gone harassed primate hoo haint sinned
graced with surname Harris,
and gladly boasts being full of wind
which trivia finds this barred bard
(as iz his usual wont
i.e. digressing ludicrously wayward
from primary cole lord thread)
from initial intent, vis a vis,
how all life forms stretching
within the bounds of quisling
to an affable, convivial, and filial King
Crimson (reddit in the face),
yet knew everything liken ace
that comprised tome base
comprise zing knowledge
booking (to chase
winter blues) at getaway
gracefully re: Bedrock Cave
with proprietors of said place
Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone
offered ample space
to discuss preparations to cope
with onset of infrequent roaring blizzard
(via ominous clouds that didst trace)
plus minimizing setbacks affecting
the then most advanced stone age
during wrathful outbursts from beige
flesh toned gabbing Goddess,
whose gentle giantess goodness,
one could gauge
which genteel manners evident
also asper her page
gave inside information,
how to batten down hatches
while tethered like a puppet
on the then much younger global stage.
Copyright ©
Matthew Harris
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