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Looking Back Evaluating Judging My Life This Far
Looking back
Honestly and wholeheartedly
Having to assess evaluate
My life up until this very moment and point
In time I have lived this far
I would have to judge myself
In two completely different parts
The old me today and and when I was young
Because I can quite honestly say
Although they are still both me
The younger version of me has changed
Through age we have become further estranged
What interests me now would bore me then
Come to think of it I wasn't interested in anything
My head was filled with nothing but daydreams
Never once did I contemplate a thing about life
It's almost as if the lights weren't switched on
And I never really realized life was going on
Until unfortunately the one day came
I looked into the mirror and realized
I was in fact no longer young anymore
That boy was gone and had left this behind
And when I eventually came to terms with it
Realizing I simply had no other choice
But to grow up and accept it
And when I did my priorities changed as well
And I suddenly then out of nowhere began
To develope and interest in other things
I never showed any kind of interest in or liked before
And thought I never noticed I had in fact
Already somehow taken on board and stored
Bits of knowledge and information
In my head I hadn't been paying attention to
And now my brain is running a mock
And has gone from never thinking about anything
To being unable can't stop overthinking everything
Shameful thing is if this was me back then
Things and events in my life
Probably would have taken and turned out
Completely different and I wouldn't be me
Obviously I wasn't and didn't though
Otherwise I would have changed
And that is the fundamental difference between
The old young former men and who I am now
But isn't the point of being young
Enjoying yourself and being insanely stupid
Rather than wasting your youth on
Choosing to be responsible and boring
Pretending or actually being book wise and smart
Which come to think of it looking back
Makes so more sense upon reflection now
Because the less you know or pay attention
Will only serve you so far way more well
To enable you to get through
And preserve your youthful innocence
For as long as is possible
Before you have to face the challenges
Head on of your own what is later
Not to distant in your future to come
That unfortunately there is no escaping
Copyright ©
Christopher Flaherty
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