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Engrained To Shred and Become a New Me
Everyday I used to wake up and need weed,
and I mean agonizingly ache tensing as I seek
consuming my mind, just one goal to achieve
nothing but this everyday on repeat
once I succeed I'd chain smoke until I sleep
wake up in the morning tired and grumpy
slug through the day until I could smoke free
living with one thought that never did cease
no thought of the future or what I could be
never aiming to progress or climb up the tree
just happy at the bottom living blindly
unambitious and thoughtless defining me
I was made to think talent and brains succeed
my god I was wrong, so very wrong indeed
what idiot taught me to accept I can't lead
and to follow instructions living happy beneath
I watched some right tools move up cause they reached
the unqualified with their brains like a peach
calamity leaders present as they want to be seen
sucking up yes men and the second human centipede
I now know pure ignorance forms solid self belief
and narcissistic right can perch your balcony
high up beyond where your talent can reach
and minds blag it better if they're addiction free
so why in the hell did I turn to the weed?
mother raised me to think I can't achieve
now I'm under tools who have taken the lead
and I'm chasing addictions being all I can be
growing up to 18 and taking 18 to be free
I'm 36 now and all addictions have ceased
along with the mindset that my mother did teach
a bit slow but ambitious and I'm done with defeat
when you have addictions they are all you can see
and you'll have addictions if you belong underneath
now I'm unlearning what was engrained within me
the idea of failure being my only way to succeed
I was taught to be nothing and that's what I become
you may be a mother but you're not fit to be a mum
after raising your child with the belief he is dumb
no longer aimless, addicted, suicidal and numb
The lesson is encourage and just give it ago
so what if kids fail, it's the way people grow
don't fear your kids failure and make them aim low
if you learn why you fail it's then knowledge you know
mum you want me to need you and hold the hand on your arm
want me beside you, the kid you control with your palm
teach me to need you raising the anxiety alarm
it's really cruel how your selfish need allows you to harm
get out of my life, you have no child at all
I think I'll attempt being successful
you keep your negative that encouraged my fall
you made me believe I could be bugger all
Copyright ©
Nick Trim
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