to have dodged a bullet
To have dodged a bullet is heard by me as a clear soft symphony, it reminds me that all is a dramatized sigh of relief whether stressed, sad, annoyed, mad or worried, it all ends the same with the word that is second most heard than your name; “it is all going to be okay” whether in your head or said. To have dodged a bullet is the best kind of relief, either thought of or heard. Being told you have dodged a bullet is like someone whole willingly taking out the knife stabbed in your back you thought you could never remove until sane. To be told you have dodged a bullet is a moment of silence out of the few you rarely experience, the soft ringing in your ear, confused thoughts on how you got here, it is like the destination you so desired. To the hopeless butterflies flying away from my stomach, my terrible luck and the universe I relied too much on for comfort, I apologize. Still experiencing the comfort of the silence, life is still not over yet. With life being so unfortunate of course there's more stories to the questions I push into the back of my mind due to fear . To be loved is to be seen, and how am I capable of experiencing love if what they try to seek frightens me. Love is a beautiful thing, it's something that truly excites me. But so is my health and my love for individuality. Obsession turns into disgust,and dishonesty gives it life, whether playing into it or saying it. To the lies that are now dead. To the boy dressed nice holding the gun of a masked persona, I couldn't see the shades of heartbreak on his coat. Who would pay attention when being held at gunpoint? He missed his shot to a 3rd degree, to have dodged a bullet has given me a clear view, breathing in a fresh start away from the boy I thought I knew. “To have dodged a bullet” I can say it a million times and not think about that one horrible time. To have dodged a bullet is within itself one of the most beautiful lines i've been told that has healed my mental heath. Whether it was a lie to save my sanity, I will never forget the person who said it to me.
Side note: this poem, you could say, healed me while writing it, this was my closure. This is what kept me going. The reason as to why I wrote this happened in real time. I will never forget the girl who said this to me in a time of need. We weren't all that close either. Thank you.
Copyright ©
ayana rivera
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