An interview with a Cherub
Welcome, Soupers, to our special segment today. We have a very unique guest with us - a cherub! Yes, you heard that right. Please give a warm welcome to our celestial friend, Calvin.
Calvin, thank you for joining us. How does it feel to be here in the UK?
Oh, it's been an interesting adventure, does it ever stop raining?
Well, it's always been a bit wet, but due to climate change, it seems to rain a lot more! But let's not get too negative or political. We want to keep things mellow. Now, tell me, what's it like being a cherub?
It's simply delightful. We spend our days spreading love and joy, playing our harps, and occasionally causing mischief. You know, the usual cherub stuff, so I've ventured to Earth to cheer up all the miserable people here.
A tough assignment. Have you met many miserable people?
Too many, taking life too seriously and not enjoying it whilst they can. Look at all your world leaders, they have a tough job! Their misery is hidden behind their facade, so, I'm going to sprinkle a little love dust into them, so they can spread my gospel and tackle the lack of compassion in the world.
That's a lovely idea, would be great to achieve that! Tell me more about the mischief you mentioned.
Well, there was this one time I swapped out all the halos with hula hoops. Let's just say the heavenly choir sounded a bit more rhythmic that day!
Sounds hilarious! Did the angels get a bit upset?
Well, it is not in their nature to show anger, so they laughed along with the prank. However, they do have habit of hiding our bows and arrows! If we all added humour into our lives, we would be so much more easy going. Right?
Yes, well laughter is the best medicine, they say. What's with the whole arrow thing? Any relation to Cupid?
Cupid! No!! He is prat! We are heavenly beings, Cupid is from mythology! The things we have in common is we are bit chubby and love, although he struggles to find the perfect pair, quite often. Ah, the arrows! Those are our tools of affection. We shoot them at unsuspecting mortals to make them fall in love. It's like playing cupid, but with more feathers and success!
Fascinating! Have you ever had any mishaps with the arrows?
Oh, plenty! Sometimes we hit the wrong people, and chaos ensues. Like that time I accidentally made a dog fall in love with a cat. Let's just say it was a messy situation! Also on many occasions the arrows hit the wrong body part, but lets keep this PG...
It sounds like you have quite the adventurous job. What is your relationship with God?
Ahhh... There are so many of us and we look so alike, but God knows us all by our names. I've drank milk with god, since I was a baby and many times, God fed me and all my fellow Cherubs.
Oh that sounds lovely, now, if you were not a Cherub, what would you like to do instead?
Well, that is easy, fashion designer of course. It's not comfortable flying around half naked all the time. Yes, I would love to start my own Cherub fashion brand!
That is very ambitious, I think clothes are very important in cold climates like the UK. Before we wrap up, any final words?
Just remember to spread love and kindness wherever you go. And if you ever see a cherub flying by, be sure to duck! Those arrows are more accurate than you think.
Wise words indeed! Thank you so much for joining us, Calvin. It's been a honour.
The pleasure is all mine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some clouds to paint and lovers to pair! Farewell, British Earthlings!
(Calvin disappears in a puff of glitter)
And there you have it, Soupers! An interesting and enlightening interview with Calvin the Cherub! Tune in next time for more celestial shenanigans. Goodbye for now.
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Silent One
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