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can't act
the first crush after a breakup is hard.
I keep seeing images of you in him and I'm scared my past is repeating.
I probably won't act on it.
It is nice to be out of my pit though.
my pit of loneliness,
because now I have a reason to wake up.
I have a reason to put on something nice and do my makeup.
I have a reason to talk to people instead of hiding away.
I have a reason to go outside.
I don't have to lie about being over you.
I don't have to lie about being okay.
I am scared it will happen all over again though.
I am scared he is like you.
the man who broke me.
the man who left me on the curb colored blue.
the man who scared me and made me believe that I am unlovable.
so I won't act on it.
I won't tell him about the butterflies or the fact that he is always on my mind.
I won't tell him that I can tell he is struggling.
I won't tell him that I have been watching and waiting,
hoping for the chance to talk to him without being annoying.
I won't act on it.
Copyright ©
Lola Martone
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