Holiday Humors
There once was a snowman named Clyde,
Who melted and nearly just died!
With a scarf and a hat,
He looked rather flat,
Now he chills in the fridge, safe inside.
A reindeer named Fred took the sleigh,
He thought, “I’ll take it my way!”
But up in the sky,
He went way too high,
Now he’s stuck in a tree ’til next May.
A turkey once tried to disguise,
As a chef, with ambition and ties!
With a pan and a pot,
He gave it a shot,
Now he’s roasted, despite all his lies.
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Categories:
raindeer, humor,
Form: Limerick
Mrs Claus Has a Word With Santa
Santa's sleigh is weighted down,
The raindeer just said "nay!"
"Claus, my dear," said Mrs. C.
"You're much too much round!"
For: A Funny Christmas Themed 4 liner Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Tania Kitchin
December 21, 2021
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Categories:
raindeer, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
The Year Santa Was Late
It was Christmas Eve and Santa was about to leave
He had received a note from one of his elves
Rudolph is sick Santa come and see
Low and behold she was lying in the hay
To sick to lead Santa and his slay
Santa was beside himself this had never happened before
Mrs. Clause was on her way with a bucket of hot water
They all gathered around whispering
What will Santa do I have no clue said Donner
Comet and Prancer, Cupid and Dasher where
Standing next to Dancer, Blitzen and Vixen
With a look of sadness they did not want Rudolph to die
After about an hour had passed a sigh of relief was heard
For Rudolph had given birth to a tiny red nosed reindeer
This was the year from long ago when Santa was late
Delivering through the snow without Rudolph's
Bright Red Nose Santa named this new reindeer "shining bright"
This is a true story!
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Categories:
raindeer, christmas,
Form: Rhyme
Rudolph, the Brain Dead Raindeer
Rudolph, the Brain Dead Raindeer'
Had a very shiny ****,
Red from profuse bleeding hemorrhoids,
Santa figured he'd better put him last,
All of the other raindeers,
Used to laugh about his red tush,
Near Santa's North Pole workshop,
Could be found many a reddish bush,
So on this first Christmas eve,
With Rudolph at the rear,
Santa took off to the sky,
Red droplets flying backwards fast,
Often clogged poor Santa's eye,
Before he got to his first house,
His white suit had turned quite red,
Something told him it was more appropriate,
Went better with his sled,
From that point on, Santa's suit was red,
And remains so to today.....But now I've told
This secret old, and dearly did I pay,
Cause Santa does not stop at my roof,
Or bring us gifts of joy,
Cause I've got a BIG MOUTH!
And Santa I did annoy!
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Categories:
raindeer, adventure, fantasy, funny, holiday,
Form: Burlesque
A Limerick Christmas Three (3) .
Mrs. Santa on last Christmas Eve
Was so naughty , at trying to deceive.
Not the slightest bit coy
When she met her toy~boy....
Now , believe what YOU want to believe .
Rudolf the randy raindeer
Took his lady friend out for a beer.
Then he took off his clothes.
Showed~off his red nose..
Saying.. who the hell said, I was *****...
What's the worst place at Christmas to be ?
Perhaps a turkey~dish laced with gravy....
It's more painful and airy
To be some poor fairy
With your +++ on the top of the tree .
A COOL YULE , TO ALL YOU GOOD SOUPERS.....
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Categories:
raindeer, funny, seasons, thank you,
Form: Limerick