Usually don't know if I'm coming or going
A confused old dude is what I mean
Even sometimes put the cart before the horse
Makes for an real interesting scene
So now you know, I have finally confessed
Can't keep it a secret any longer
I'm quite a bit different from you other dudes
I'm a certified strange kind of author
See things differently than most normal folks
Have a weird way of looking at things
Perhaps you've noticed, never thought to ask
Just the way my pendulum swings
Absolutely happy in this delusional state
Too afflicted to know any better
Kind of embarrassing to tell you guys this
Still known to be a naughty bed-wetter
So let's get serious, my dear dear friends
I'm as normal as the rest of you
Wait, that's not sounding too much better
Think we're all a big bunch of kooks
DOn't bite the hand that feeds you
Don't burn your bridge behind you
Don't cast your pearls before swine
Don't change horses in midstream
Don't count your chickens before they are hatched.
Don't cross the bridge till you to it
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Don't keep a dog and bite your self
Don't let the bastards grind you down
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
Don't wash your dirty linen in public
Familiarity breeds comptempt
Feed a cold and starve a fever.
Don't upset the apple cart.
Don"t try to walk before you crawl
Don"t teach grandma to suck eggs
Don't throw the baby out with the birth water.
Don't spoil the ship for a ha'porth of tar
Don't rock the boat
Don't put the cart before the horse
Don't meet troubles half way.
Don't put new wine into an old bottle
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking it with cream
There are none so deaf as those that would not hear.
Usually don't know if I'm coming or going
A confused old dude is what I mean
Even sometimes put the cart before the horse
Makes for an real interesting scene
So now you know, I have finally confessed
Can't keep it a secret any longer
I'm quite a bit different from you other poets
I'm a certified strange kind of author
See things differently than most normal folks
Have a weird way of looking at things
Perhaps you've noticed, never thought to ask
Just the way my pendulum swings
Absolutely happy in this delusional state
Too afflicted to know any better
Kind of embarrassing to tell you guys this
Still known to be a naughty bed wetter
So let's get serious, my P-Soup friends
I'm as normal as the rest of you
Wait, that's not sounding too much better
Think we're all a big bunch of kooks
© Jack Ellison 2014
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