Funny Prose Poetry Poems

For years our family has tried to make candied apples.
Most of our valiant attempts have ended up as a disaster.
Mine were always the worst, or...

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The expert hunter doesn't cling.
Not having a dog, he hunts with
his cat... not having a cat,
he hunts with his duck, without
duck hunting with mouse...
- mouse...?
-...

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When we first met you carried him in your pocket,
Strange ugly little thing, tied to a string.
I thought it odd that you would carry such...

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Kraft Macaroni and Cheese and Chef Boy-Ar-Dee boxed pizza
If I had a dollar for every time I ate these two as a child
I could probably...

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Many said that Buster could not be tamed or trusted.
They are the doubters, the naysayers, the negative nettles.
They were fearful of the bear; they let...

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Scooter was never told no.
He was always built up and admired.
Adored by two ridiculously doting parents.
If he did anything wrong, they covered it up.
They lied...

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People love to believe stupid things. Some of us find it hard to believe stupid things and laugh at those who do, until someone laughs...

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Shall I relay a sidesplitting hoot from my “care-free” on campus fun phase?
It entails a laboratory session involving three mystic world colossal oafs.
 One had...

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In the early dawn, the loud barking of my dog
Woke me up;
I arose and went to the door leading out onto
The veranda;
I adjusted the blinds...

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I cannot wait to drive a sports car I thought!
Now I have a red one, it took me awhile.
Guys race to see what I look...

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Shebra was a luxury he could ill afford.
Expensive tastes, and wanted designer clothes.
Her shoes cost him a week’s salary.
But he was tired of paying child...

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"What are you doing here?"
"I'm standing here."
"Can't you read? It says no loitering!"
"I'm not loitering, I'm standing."
"Standing is loitering!"
"Can I sit on the ground then?"
"No!...

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Scary, funny and unbelievable scenarios show up there 
All my crazy friends dancing while there's a fire on their back

Moreover, you come up to our...

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It was funny at first.
I bought groceries at McDon’s
She switched grocery stores
And began shopping there too.

I made a famous Jell-o salad for neighborhood picnics.
She asked...

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He was the weird one, the odd one, the one the family laughed about.
He heard them laughing, and it hurt when he was a boy.
By...

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