Mama Mia had many kittens, too many to count.
She was a loosey goosey, and met Toms at the fount.
They kept her busy, impregnated, happy and fat.
She was a good mama too, a nurturing cat.
The landlord was askance when he saw her litters.
No more kittens, he cautioned, for they gave him the jitters.
But, Mama began, for she knew she was round for a reason.
Luckily he did not guess she was preggers out of season.
What are we to do? Tom Number Nine asked his mate.
Let me think, she cautioned him. But he was in a fine state.
He took off down the alley, like numbers one through eight.
She had not rated him high anyway, so did not mind her fate.
When the next batch of kittens was born, she hid them quite well.
Her landlord gave her surprise visits, and she always said “Hell!”
She sneaked this litter in and out, walking up the wall like a spider.
It was not always easy, but she did not want him to fine or chide her.
Categories:
preggers, cat,
Form: Rhyme
O' boy; have you all heard the street gossip today
Mrs. Pringle at No. 9 is having a bad hair day
Mr. Ellis at No. 4 had a shave, as cut his chin
Danny at No. 21 threw his cat out in the bin
Her at No. 30, preggers yet not a man in tow
No. 11 the neighbours from hell really need to go
Postman is having an affair with her at No. 5
No darn wonder, our post is so late to arrive
Johnny at No. 37 has got himself a new motor
Him at No. 41 drains have got a funky odour
The knicker thief at No. 59 is kinda of weird
Her at No. 3 all her bloomers have disappeared
Who am I, I’m not telling, you know how the street gossip
But I did hear No. 47 on passing, say morning trollop
Categories:
preggers, funny, people,
Form: Couplet
It’s clear after this perfunctory bout,
I’m packin’ your things and you’re movin’ out!
On our first day we both made such grand vows,
now I hear you’re stepping out to carouse.
That Megan teen’s “preggers” and they say it’s yours;
how fast can I toss your butt through the doors?
You promised to love (in good times only?)
Megan’s folks are movin’; guess you’ll be lonely.
Think you’re the gold ring on all carousels?
Stick around, I’ll muster a few more decibels.
I’ll toss ya a bone; go fetch it Fido.
Keep running, don’t come home. That’s a no-no!
I’d expect loyalty from “man’s best friend”
Now scoot! I need a laugh from your back end.
*Written for Susan Burch’s “CHEATER, CHEATER” Contest.
October 24, 2011
Categories:
preggers, funny, husband,
Form: Couplet
When they’re “preggers,” some females feel fickle
And their "fancy" just some foods can tickle.
I (instead) ate and ate.
Dang it. . . How much less weight
I’d have gained if I’d craved only pickles!
For P.D.'s Contest:
Pickles & Tickles "Limerick"
Categories:
preggers, funnymyth,
Form: Limerick