My Doberman Pinscher won best of show
and was strutting around like a peacock.
One judge was none too pleased and let me know,
while scrutinizing my dog like a hawk.
She was a sarcastic bitter old prune,
treating both me and my dog with disdain.
And swore he'd be stripped of his standing soon,
she preferred the Schnauzer, and made that plain.
Unfortunately, as dogs often do
he lifted his leg and started to pee.
Her shoe would have to do, since there’s no loo,
and it got a resounding laugh from me.
After sullying this finger-wagger,
he walked with a champion's swagger.
(Sonnet)
09,02,2019
SWAGGER Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Line Gauthier
Amusing is easy. Real is impossible.
March 23, 1949 I arrived to spectacular reviews.
When I was first male child things went swimmingly!
Passed around to waiting, loving arms was a delight.
It wasn't too long before I wore out my welcome.
My father was a war hero, a bomber pilot who escaped
from behind enemy lines when shot down over France.
I interrupted his adulation and he was none too pleased.
Pilots took speed to fly many long missions; addicted.
He was a loving and angry man. I never knew which and
I grew into boyhood balanced upon a precarious blade.
I learned to be a jester and leave them laughing and
that worked until it didn't and then all bets were off!
Beat me and I'll beg for mercy. Scream at me and I cringe.
Send me to my barren room. Threaten me with all you've got,
and all I'll do is bide time and amuse you back to my will.
Laughter is the best medicine. Let's resume a "normal" life.
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