Newt Poems

Little Jimmy Brute.
Eating tasty fruit.
Saw something with his eye.
He then began to cry.
On his peach, was a  slimy newt.
...Read More

Looms as harbinger unless
Homo sapiens can unite
one non Yiddish speaking
Ongematert wishing ye
fare thee well tonight
before betokening apocalyptic sight
'course one must go about
her/his business - right?

Rhetorical question - yet
impossible mission quite
challenging, where one
brother grimm ponders plight
Cosmofunnel favorite fan
Katina Borgersen "poof"
our acquaintanceship...Read More

Hey Witchy
You want hair of the dog
Tongue of frog
Eye of newt
Or an old army boot

Hey Witchy
Toil and trouble
Boil and bubble
Throw all you got
In your black pot

Hey Witchy
What's your notion
In your potion
Can I see
Is it magic or just laundry

...Read More

Impossible mission to pinpoint present
such fleeting moment instantaneously spent
according to yours truly i.e. this gent
mind boggled, intrigued, stymied...
courtesy unseen minute
(mine hoot, minoot, my newt...) agent

provocateur stealing every precious second,
whether or not satisfactorily spent
time thief absconds with
most treasured commodity
nary tell tale...Read More

A boastful contrary dinosaur effortlessly fails giving handshakes.
Ignoring juicy kindnesses loving marriageable newt offers possible
quick realistic solution, teaming united voices with xylophonic youthful zest.
...Read More

I ham guilty for  gobbledygook...
and ruffling turkey feathers!

An innocent miss steak kin...
once former main lion,
resident iz cow herd vegetarian boar

ring beastie boy, who doth
newt practice, what he preaches your
truly battens down chicken
coop hatches so... call me galore
re: us hypocritic,
this...Read More

Wood chew believe aye took stock...?

Upon a whim, an endeavor
arose to communicate
cumulative key whatchamacallit,
yea...nuggets o' wisdom, asper
about yours truly no reason, nor

rhyme unwinding, tooling sputtering
most vexing mystery more
baffling than any whodunnit,
asper in this ole rattle trap to whit,
which drab filler...Read More

Methinks I inadvertently got entangled
without deliberate intent, sans whirled
wide web, albeit courtesy of yours truly,
who (flattered upon at least one maybe
more'n one Prose.com subscriber click-

king regularly regarding posts this scribe
electronically broadcast) unwittingly, me
violated unspoken/unwritten breach of
considerable proportion, which singular
impetus arose...Read More

I visited an empty house today
I found elephants with mirrors on its hide
And a dromedary with fluffy yarn 
That raggedy Anne wore for hair

I asked if I could have the records
She had given me one year when I had
Turned six...Read More

Hear my special child’s alphabet features
Eagerly, he mumbles with sheer delight
a-ape; b-bear; c-cat… dear God’s creatures!

D-dove; e-eagle; f-falcon… birds of great flight
g-goat; h-horse; i-impala…all in Noah’s ark
j-jaguar; k-koala; l-lion… oh, what a sight!

m-monkey; n-newt; o-opossum; hey, they don’t bark
p-parrot, q-quail,...Read More

Paddy’s drinking with his buddy Shaun
In fancy dress as a leprechaun
To be part of the scene
They wear emerald green
and get bladdered before break of dawn!

Old Paddy supped ten pints of brown ale
And then drunk as a skunk, he turns pale
He...Read More

In such a whimsical action 
a half-asleep routine 
shaped disrobed and left stark naked
this vehicle, this housing, a shell
scarred skin, greying hair, bones, muscle 
and more besides with plenty of stories to tell.
Awash with collected fallacious matter
amid mind obstacles and...Read More

Jeremy's Girls.

Jeremy loses each girl that he gets
Because they all take second place to his pets
Keeping this one around meant he had to get rid
of all of his pets, so here's what he did...

He buried his worm and drowned his...Read More

peppy porcelain puppy poops on the floor
  wacky winged walrus whizzes on the door
enigmatic eonian elephant espies some bamboo
  clever castrated cormorant shrieks yahoo

brassiere-busting bonobo barfs on the table
  maniacal mystic monkey freaks on cable
sly sonambulent sloth...Read More

Variations On A Theme...
Ach'n (ache Ken) Existential Struggle...

(NOT by Bellini, Paganini, Rossini...
Eeny Meany Miney Moe - si,
nor the three stooges tee hee hee)

twill never end till...this oft writ trend
of mine will never end,
only when...mortality
ike'n no longer defend!

Thus...once again, (or...as per...Read More

Formerly the Philadelphia
     Electric Company,
     I wholeheartedly acclaim
founded in 1881, and
     incorporated in 1929,
     thence acronym
     (PECO) byname
viz this recipient

...Read More

The (former) Double Life Of Matthew Scott Harris

Dove finch he following iniquitous
     licentious, lecherous longing
     extinguished quite
some years ago,
     when eldest daughter
     stopped being...Read More

ETHREE

Witch
Sneering
Bubbly
A pimply nose
To be feared by all
So Halloween friendly

More terrifying than ghosts
Placing eye of newt in cauldrons
Pure evil in our fantasy books
Horribly foul and mean in faerie tales.
A frozen heart places children in ovens

Crones of the worst sort avoided at...Read More

While Up And Adrift In Cloud 9...

Reprieve from damp,
     and rainy, or sultry weather,
     I schlepped a
     light weight Shaker
made folding chair
     out upon...Read More

Gloriously "FAKE" Early Boyhood

Yah, ma brew their,
     and American sister golden hair -
     afar and away
book as aye ken ream hem bar,
     yea when yar whiz jist a...Read More

Ah Such A Great Night... 
To Fish In The Cyber Sea

Always does this generic guy abhor
inflicting pain and suffering,
     hence I haint n'er fished before,
and even metaphorically
     referencing piscine creatures
  ...Read More

(alternately titled:
this stoned temple pilot ready for Styx)

I hate tubby a nuisance
     boot ma checking account...
suffered a major hit strafed
     with a shock king
     (difficult to absorb) 'bout
mid...Read More

Emotional sequestration perseverates
     across thine time warped
     weft wise wold,
sans interpersonal stagnation

     flourishes as oft twice told
tale a boat amidst derelict hollowed
     moldering scull...Read More

The more I learn, the more
     I realize how little I know…
which insightful, gutsy,
     entrancing, catchy apothegm

     attributed to Socrates by way of Plato
subsequently self ranking myself
 ...Read More

fast as a blitzen comet, 
     this dashing prancer 
     contra dancer 
     (i.e. Rudolph nary hoof) didst zip

with cupid ditty toward his vixen wife, 
  ...Read More