My dog looks at me,
don’t wanna know what he’s thinking
missing one testicle now,
'thanks to me'.
I offer him a treat a reward a bribe if you will
to forgive and forget, but.
He turns his head away from me.
“Come on boy” I say “it’s your favorite,
a bacon-flavored dog biscuit”, but then I think.
Not a fair trade by no means,
who am I kidding?
Categories:
neutering, dog,
Form: Free verse
"Taking away my cell phone would be as painful as being neutered."
~ by poet
Twenty years ago, no one would have predicted
that to cell phones, the world would become addicted.
We text instead of calling, though we have the choice.
I barely remember the sound of my child's voice!
Often, I forget where I've left my darn phone.
Without a text notification, I feel very much alone.
It's part of my anatomy that I should have neutered,
a simple surgical procedure that should be tutored.
Remove it from my hand with a scapel or a knife.
Can I survive without it? It's instrumental to my life!
Cutting it off would be an act of painful castration.
Maybe a lobotomy instead of neutering amputation?
I won't promise that if it's done, it would be a cure.
If it's no longer attached to me, how will I endure
not being able to keep in touch with my best friend,
and how long does it take for neutered scars to mend?
Categories:
neutering, humor, perspective,
Form: Rhyme
Joe was supposed to get Buddy neutered.
They return home without surgery or the cone of shame.
Do you know what neutering means? My husband asks me.
Yes, I do.
This is why I set up the appointment.
Unfortunately….
I cannot lift either of them into the car.
Categories:
neutering, dog, men,
Form: Light Verse
Against wild dogma and feathery wit,
Shall your sound idioms and wisdom
Outshine fickle folios of mortal sages;
Proving verity in its irrepressible form.
Your arresting dictums shall outshine
Obtuse hallowed tomes devoid of life,
Which erudition’s minions kissing die;
Sepulchered beneath self-spun strife.
Each revivifying line a failsafe dose,
Curing the unquestioning pupil soul;
Which heeding its fathomless force,
Glowing dims deified sky-high stars.
Those fibs-shaming adages of yore
Shall diffuse war’s menacing nukes,
Neutering gory ciphers spelling awe;
Turning brawls into inviolable peace.
Categories:
neutering, allegory, allusion, destiny, devotion,
Form: Didactic
Mightily buoyed by cherished blood,
Brazen struts laxest wit undeterred;
And fair nobles her giddy vinos swill
Oftener than mild sips of ironed skill.
Sometimes charmed by gilded gold
Slack sense glues tighter than truth,
Icing to death the latter's warm hold,
Though it be sharp as reptile’s tooth.
Frequent wins heresy’s easy path
Grand crystalline Heaven’s wrath,
And fleeting mirths procured thus
At last become unmitigated curse.
Subtly hallowed by saint and priest
Sneaks warped reason’s sliest gist,
Oiled by figures on oaths deponed,
Sentinels of truth in bold ink toned.
Featherweight thinking finally weds
Strictest law under unspoken knots;
Neutering the former’s diabolic beds,
Desecrating the other's stern courts.
Categories:
neutering, allegory, allusion, anger, evil,
Form: Didactic
A heartless mean person dumped a puppy. It found us of course.
Our dog went nuts.
Not happy.
My husband wanted to keep it.
Named it Baby Buddy because he did not want to check whether it was a boy or girl.
The puppy bit me.
Accidentally when it got crazy happy to see me.
I have rescued over twenty puppies. This was the first one that ever did that.
I have a tiny slit in my arm because Baby has a razor tooth.
This dog is really cute.
I posted his photo on social media.
Three people began fighting over who would run over to our house and adopt him.
We pretended his name was Buddy.
Knowing she was a girl now, but afraid a girl would not be picked up.
Spaying costs so much more than neutering.
A car drives up.
We wait.
Is it one of the people who is fighting over Baby Buddy?
We wait all day, hopeful.
None of them come.
They probably just wanted their friends to give them credit for almost coming.
Social media is so misleading!
Categories:
neutering, fun,
Form: Free verse
Oh dear what can the matter be
Tulip our cat needs to be spayed you see
come pick her up tomorrow afternoon at three
when she feels better after the surgery...
Oh dear what can the matter be
the vet called and said cannot do the surgery
Tulip is a male you say over the phone to me
I say really how embarrassing yet funny...
Oh dear how confusing can this be
you know I checked it south of its belly
and didn't see any male anatomy
so figured it was a Tam cat and not a Tom cat you see
Oh dear I guess my eyesight just didn't see
so the vet said I can still do a neutering
okay I said and his new name will be
Tater Tot the poor little mixed up thing!
2-1-18
Categories:
neutering, cat, confusion,
Form: Rhyme