Messrs Poems


Premium MemberNow, a Church Attacked

     Lawlessness comes home to roost
        Israeli settlers’ troubles self-induced

     Fool ‘lawmakers’ look the other way
        for their crimes, settlers never pay

     Yet killing innocents wasn’t enough
        now a church attacked, Huckabee got tough

     When Arabs attack them, settlers are rightly up in arms
        but it doesn’t entitle them to do a church any harm

     If they don’t get the message this time, along with their fool supporters
        Messrs. Huckabee and Trump will give the settlers their marching orders
Categories: messrs, america, international, jewish, murder,
Form: Couplet

Mole and Rat Locate Portly Otter Junior

I
Mr. R. was in rapt reverie
Mr. M rowed the boat
A last minute rescue mission
For otter gone over, for a Piper
Not Pied, but he may as well have been
Lured the junior from Mr. Portly O.
Otter senior, according to K. Grahame

II
Before messrs R & M (rat & mole) that is,
Found the young otter who'd gone missing
Causing grief to all back home, & Dad -
They found God: Awe, Presence, Friend & Helper
Led by the piping of a heavenly Piper
In the chapter of WIND IN THE WILLOWS named:
The Piper At The Gates Of Dawn
If a Rat & Mole can find God through Music,
What's your Excuse (no pressure, LOL!)

III 
President Teddy Roosevelt wrote the author, 17 January 1909, from the White House, that he had come round to liking the (third) book by Kenneth Grahame. Most readers & critics, & the public resisted liking this book because of his earlier success (with two children's stories). Grahame's Rat, Mole, Badger, Toad, and Otters have become widely accepted & loved. Better late than never. Thx Teddy Bear Prez. (Prez. TR founded the US Wildlife Refuge system)
Categories: messrs, adventure, allegory, for teens,
Form: Free verse


Charlie Was Dead: Dickens

Charlie was dead

Charlie was dead: to begin with,
There is no doubt whatever about that.
I leave my residue to Carol for Christmas
and Little Dorrit his faithful Tom Cat.

There’s been hard times here in Bleak House,
Villainy and miserly crime capers,
I spent my fortune in shops of curiosity,
Pickwick wrote of it, in his gossip papers.

You gather here with great expectations,
Of bequeaths, chattels and yield.
But listen well to my loyal Trustees,
Messrs Chuzzlewit and Copperfield.

To that twister and Street Urchin Oliver,
and to show I bear him no grudge,
 I do leave a Crown and one Farthing,
and a sixpence to Barnaby Rudge.

To our mutual friends Dombey and Son,
Please accept my cane and fine silk scarf.
May you prosper all the year round,
As comfortable as a Cricket on a hearth.

So, here is my last Will and Testament,
Yes, I’m worthless, so whimper and brood.
Where did it all go, there is no mystery,
Lost at Cards to Nickleby and Drood.

KS 6/11/2017
Categories: messrs, bereavement, books, character, christmas,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberChomolungma's Complaint

I want to live solitarily 
High above the scenery 
And so I did for quite some time
Until one day they began to climb
And finally reached the top of me

That was Nineteen Fifty-Three
When messrs Norgay and Hillary
Committed their grave crime
And gazed upon my face

But I will have my revenge on thee
So that you will leave me be
I'll cut down hundreds in their prime
You will know the final word is mine 
And all of you will see
That you must learn your place
Categories: messrs, nature,
Form: Rhyme

Premium MemberI'Ll Never Heil Again

Moronica’s ruler is in a situation no good.
Herman the Sixth and Seven-Eights is chopping wood.
Yes, this poor guy is now a deposed king.
How could Messrs. Ump-chay, Iks-nay, and Am-scray do such a thing?
King Herman has been ousted from his throne.
Ruling in his place is someone name Moe Hailstone.

Hailstone and his henchmen have turned the world upside-down.
Each one of these fools is a moronic clown.
Moe conspires to put each Axis partner on the shelf.
He will not share the world.  He wants it for himself.

Herman’s daughter has an idea to solve it all:
She puts high explosives inside a billiard ball.
Get Hailstone and his friends to start a big fight.
Someone will hit the ball, and it’s good night.

I won’t go any further.  That is all I have to say.
Want to find out what happened?  Just watch the short today.

Based on the 1941 Columbia Pictures short subject titled “I’ll Never Heil Again”
starring the Three Stooges.
Categories: messrs, funny, satire,
Form: Rhyme


Looking At My Spam

LOOKING    AT   MY    SPAM


A guy with a busy-life like me has everything he could want, right at fingertips:
I can “stop snoring with a dentist-designed mouthpiece”
And can pay for it, after I “check  my credit rating on line”.
Everyone I know should offer me “Congratulations” [ because  I ]
“have been chosen to join the National Association of Professional Wrestlers”.
On the other hand my interests may lean towards the aesthetic:
And I could “learn at the University of Phoenix” until they award me 
“the Degree on-line of beautician and cosmetologist”.
As consolation, I "can also obtain 70% off all  [my]  Viagra needs”   - 
Never knew, but older guys tell me it’s a drug to help  ‘their health’.
Finally if the drugs and education can’t help, I can pursue
“Lawsuits for serious injury and compo” with those well-known
Ambulance chasers,  Messrs.  Ripoff,  Fleecem  &  Grabbit.

Maybe writing a poem about reading spam is itself a symptom
Of my empty life. . . . . . . . . I  really gotta get out more.
Categories: messrs, funny, me, education, me,
Form: Prose Poetry
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