Long Waistband Poems

Being Bob

Bob, is just an ordinary guy in every sense of the word. Five ft eight inches tall, a little on the chubby side and has lost most of his hair. No one pays much...

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Argh, I ne'er got muffin top before - why now!?

Once upon a time yours truly did allow
himself to consume anything in sight
eats of mine in the mein 
included an assortment of chow.

Impossible firm me 
(read...

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As soon as I convince myself that food is not my friend
This one-sided relationship will all come to an end

Each day when I arise I pledge an archetypal goal
To overcome the food addition pulling on...

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The air stale, thick and cloudy with years of gin soaked carpet odor and cigarette vapor of  inconsiderate drag and chain smokers.
The colors smear together and the music disconnected and hypnotic.
The smell of flat...

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Come let's dig deep into Mother's  tale.
her border is the immaculate finger of the sky,
Beside this seashore was her flower taken.
under the rippled moon tale of the northern
Sahara, they made her the dummy of...

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They can’t find me for I hide in the thickets
I float faceup,
Lips breaking surface just barely
Kissing the air between my teeth
Is it my time to dive?
To die?
The rocks all around me scream
To be tied to...

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There's lots of play to underwear. 
I'll try to be discreet. 
It stretches to contain my boys 
Who hang down t'wards my feet. 
Elastic waistband hugs my hips, 
Prohibiting their fall, 
Much better than the...

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Argh, I Ne'er Got  Got Bran Did With...
A  Muffin Top Before - Why Now!?

Impossible firm he (reed myth self)
to compete with Adonis, no way no chance
asthma gut busts over
waistband of sweatpants,
the choice couture,
asper...

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One particularly memorable critic referred to me as a neckbeard in a conversation with a friend this morning. Both of the twats were skinny, pencil-head net-dweebs, the types who frequent cesspools such as reddit.com or...

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Brenda is pretty, Brenda is sweet
She’s not very big, in fact she’s petite.

Brenda’s creative, now that’s a surprise
She has a good wit and has opened my eyes.

She’s cruel to a point,, my blunder she extols,
The...

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That day by the lake,
tattered jeans and old t-shirts,
my hand in your back pocket as we walked,
your thumb
hooked over the top of my waistband.
It was hot,
...damned hot.

You tilted your hat at a silly angle and...

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There are times when the body
is as numinous as words – Robert Hass

Others, however, when it declares forcefully
its sheer bodiness;
your stomach tightens the waistband
of jeans you bought just last month
in the style of a ‘boyfriend’...

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Leftover Willpower
David J Walker

I know
	I know
What I said last night 
After the last bite of 
Turkey and dressing and 
Cranberry sauce and 
Pumpkin pie	
That I
Would never eat again
At least, not this much
	So much
That it stretched...

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With lifeless eyes he forms the south side 
hand sign
represent his neighborhood is all he know
No remorse for his actions banging on the 
other side
Dope in his pocket pistol in his waistband 
pulling aiming firing...

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Abeeku stole a bright, gold watch from
the busy shop in the market. 
The shopkeeper 
saw him slip the watch into his waistband -
chased him, yelling and gesturing,  “?? ,?? “ Thief, thief!”

The crowd caught...

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Christy did not know how she was going to fix the problem.
Her sister Carol, had confided in her.
Christy knew she could not let Carol return out of state with her abusive husband.
The abuser was glaring...

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Hey I'm not obsessed, that's not evil..
your mind is just full of evil that you can't see 
beauty in handmade.. 

Don't criticize, just look at your woman's waist 
without a waistband that's a waste of...

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My cousin’s just earned his degree
He majored in fartology
Now he can impart
What foods make me fart
He’s obsessed by scatology


I confessed that beans give me wind
(It matters not if fresh or tinned)
And onions and sprouts
In any...

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She is Two Saints:
            

Your feet make you happy 
when they bring you to the garden
where you are merry.
You walk among red roses,
and take...

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Reality check... I’ve noticed the
Elastic waistband has
Started to get even tighter on my  wife's pants ....
Only I daren't suggest she gives up candy -
Lets just say if she doesn't get her daily ‘ fix’...

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