Long Unsatisfying Poems
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Unbelievable how difficult it is to see
Eyes looking in different directions,
Seeing diverse things, seeing paradigms others do not
Unbelievable confusion, as we diversify and divide.
The world seems to be cracking.
The haves, have nots, have tos, haven’ts, it is so strange now.
Unbelievable how difficult it is to breathe.
Lungs clogging up and dying, people giving up quickly,
Not caring if they stay or go, willing themselves somewhere else.
Unbelievable how easy it is to just say forget it. Let me be.
The world seems sad, disappointed, discouraged.
The asthmatics, the Covid 19’s, the cancer patients.
Unbelievable how divided we are these days.
We do not even struggle to breathe the same air any more.
We are each sitting at our own device, breathing life into avatars.
Our best friends are online. Some of us have never met them.
We do not picnic, party, or play.
Unbelievable how bogged down and tired we are.
Unbelievable how many pills we are taking.
How many treatments we have.
How many maladies and ailments we cough up.
How much sadness and sorrow there is.
Maybe we are tired of the divisions and the unsatisfying diversions.
We are coughing up our own lungs, wanting to breathe again.
Many of us not remembering how.
Everything changes right before my eyes
Just leave me be for a time…go hang out with your buddies
I wish there was a prescription for my type of depression
The aching sensation churned in my stomach…
I was about to vomit…and I reminded myself that I wasn’t alone
But, God is looking after me
There’s something really wrong with me
I seemed to be in a phase of depression
Isolated in a new school I call “home”
The lights are off
And I have no vanity in my heart
I haven’t cried since a few months ago
I sometimes get so perturbed
I don’t have to feel sorry for myself
I know that God will fight my battles…
But I got to put a stop to my bad habits...
I need to stop throwing my tantrums…my childish fits
I just got to fight
Even though I have many fears that corrupt my mind
I got to keep driving that road of recovery
God, save me from my unsatisfying misery…
I promise I’ll clean up my debris…if only He could shed some glee
And allow my mind to rest on a comforting pillow
I feel so alone,
But I know my friends from school are concerned about me
God has set me free…
And apprehension zips past my mind
I’m like a blind crossing the street, not knowing where he is going
And still, I type out these words…
Soon, they’ll be meaningless
Soon, He’ll pull me out of the abyss
I prayed to Him for some guidance
I was haunted by untraceable voices in my head
And now…I’m blinded by the light and I kiss dread
I see familiar faces glance at me
I forget their names…but I wave at them
But, I won’t let my downfalls tear me down
I won’t let myself shred into useless shards
I wish I could grow wings and fly away
The day is gone; the night has captured my eyesight
I have no clue why I have the hearts for the night…
There’s absolutely no reason to feel the showers of anguish
But, I would like to request a special wish
Love don't know me
love evaids
and often disappoints
or is it
that I'm unkind
or I'm upset when thinks
should be kind
it seems you value
precious time alone
if your are the one for me
then leave me alone
Does it have to began like
this only to get the drift
you make me understand
then you make me your man
love don't love nobody
but we do this to agree
Am I in love
are you in love with me
now we're getting started
let me get that for you
it's the pleasantries
I honest can't you see
it's clear to me
is it clear with you
together we''re
something else
now what are we to do
Got me loving you
do you want me to say
to have me depending on you
so that all goes your way
Am I to understand
when you try to make script
I don't wanna be apart of
you trying to me me quip
using words you wanna hear
saying things your way
aint no relevant point
Aint nothing you can say
I don't wanna end up
some new worthy kind
I like it simple
you and I are just fine
your seduction and their effectiveness's
I'm over your barrel
second guessing
are we narrating our demise
I can't get the answer looking into your eyes
A woman charm is a deceitful character
what's your game
why are we together
----------------------------------------------------------
Trusting and Trustworthiness is
not when someone uses terms of something defined
to make end to something that
two people establish
and is unsatisfying to one
but is convenient to the other.
See this is what you do.
I don't want us this way>
(The Flute Player feel's unhappy, his abilty to play is hindered by her need to feel important)
No gtting along with the Conducter hired but unused.
_____________________________________________
I
Am shame
In my vice
Hate the acclaim
Help me Jesus Christ
And take away this pain
My wounds are covered in ice
Sutures being applied in vain
My
Life came
The world's game
I rolled the dice
A failed bloody aim
The endless merchandise
Craving a piece of the slice
The illusion's paradise
No thought of the morrow
Searching for tonight's hook up
Wallowing in prison's sorrow
Consuming another bitter cup
Hi
Act sly
Crossed my heart
Telling a lie
Devil piercing dart
Broken sweetheart
Lost the chance to say good-bye
Guilt amplify, intensify
My boss
I made cry
Called the Red Cross
Watched him bleed and die
He was placed on the cross
With two sinful men across
Not discerning the reason why
Seeing the agony in his eye
Hate this shame
Wanting the vice
Take away the pain
Without paying the price
Higher than a mountain
Surviving in the fast lane
Unsatisfying well's fountain
Being the number one in the game
Tired of the deceit
Hoping for a new name
Rundown, ruin, and defame
Building the faith to cross the street
Recall the crucify
Needing to detoxify
I can't take my sins anymore
The Savior is knocking at the door
I hate my vice
A new battle cry
Time to go testify
About the fool's paradise
I thank thee for your sacrifice
And giving me your living bread slice
The love on the cross and paying the price
All hail to the Mighty Lord God Jesus Christ
Form:
There is a baby crying
Just wanting to be fed
The distress is growing and intensifying
There is a daughter crying
Just wanting to feel loved
Her desire for acknowledgment is underlying
There is a mother crying
Just wanting to be happy
The life she has is so unsatisfying
There is a lover crying
Just wanting to be chosen
The thought of starting over is horrifying
There is a sister crying
Just wanting to feel whole
The size of her emptiness keeps multiplying
There is a family crying
Just wanting to be led
The thought of doing this alone is oh so terrifying
When my heart feels like breaking,
And, on this road I’m taking,
There comes a fear, dreaded forsaking,
Causing such doubt – my soul is shaking!
When my soul feels like it is dying,
And, on this journey, I’m crying,
Longing for solace, so gratifying,
But, I feel all alone, beyond unsatisfying.
When my spirit feels like I’m lost,
Though, on this path, I’ll not count the cost,
Because I know Jesus – love I’ll never exhaust…
I’m so thankful He sent His spirit at Pentecost!
When all hope it gone and I feel so alone,
I look to the heavens, where He sits on His throne,
Remember the loving Savior that I call my own,
Because without Him, I can only grumble and groan.
Listen to His spirit sing through the night,
In melodies of grace, beauty so bright,
When He came to us, our story to write,
I realized my Jesus is my life’s greatest delight!
ART IS DEAD MY FRIEND
ART IS DEAD.
Whitewashed and derailed,
By modernism vacuous hand.
That scream empty metaphors.
To cash rich sympathisers
And con-ceptualists scamming our intellect,
with their o so profound egotistical postulating.
About the nature of existence,
And meaning of being.
But it's all smoke and mirrors.
A three card trick.
Unsatisfying unnourishing.
Greasy burgers for the soul.
What would VAN Gogh do?
Probably pluck out an eye,
And sew an ear to his head.
So lets have a moment silence,
In this hour of grief,
As I whisper "art may you rest in peace".
Dear Tony,
I see a broken and bruised heart; and I alone can relieve your awful pain.
You must realize that I am desperately trying to reach out to you;
but there are limits to my ability to enter the doors of your heart.
You continue denying me entry and ignoring all my communications.
I know if it were not for the blinders and the fog, you would let me in
I am certain that you are well aware of the padded locks on your doors
You most asuredly have noticed all the iron bars and boards blocking me
Many others have gained entry; and I only ask, "Why not me who love you more?"
We knew each other well when your were young; but now you feel no need for me. You are surrounded and locked away by selfish people who do not really care about you. They do not love you and only want what's yours; I desire not yours; but you alone. They have nothing to give, but everything to take. I have nothing to take, but everything to give. Oh *Tony, you realize this fact in your heart, but you are very lonely and afraid to let them go.
You are being consumed by unsatisfying amusements that leave you cold and miserable. I cannot force my way through all the smoke and mirrors, the false and fading. I know that You don't really want me out; but you want so many others in. Unfortunately, you cannot have both me and them. I am sorry that I cannot be 'just another' among the many who cater to you.
I have called, emailed, texted, and sent regular mail without response.
But please understand that my love for you remains and will never die; I am here for you always.
Longing to be your friend, Jesus
08162017FBTGPSContesy, Let Me Into Your Heart, Julie Rodeheaver, 3Pl.
*I once had a friend name Tony who died from an overdose of Narcotics
Sometimes I see the world,
And maybe my life as a trial to try to become perfect.
This creates unsatisfying feelings within.
See, nothing is perfect,
Nor ever will be.
All the wrong things in this life,
Only leave room for growth and,
The realization of never being too old to change for the better.
I can strive for perfection,
But it only leaves disappointment,
And unhappy smiles.
Always waiting for it to get better.
Feeling the injustice of everyday life.
Be happy with what you have been blessed to receive.
Life is too short to settle,
Or to think it could be perfect.
What is perfect, is trying not to be perfect.
And there is a calm realizing relaxation in that.
We took seeing our friends and family for granted.
We could do that any day of the week if we wanted to.
Children sat in dark houses for days at a time, pushing buttons.
Listening to bells and whistles, losing their enthusiasm for outside or friends.
They could play with them any time – if they wanted to.
But the bells and whistles held them hostage.
The subliminal blips kept them prisoners.
Until they stopped playing, like little addicts, wanting their fix.
Then the pandemic came to visit. Suddenly we could not visit.
We could not see our friends or family.
OUCH! Now we really wanted to.
We began go hunger for human contact.
For hugs and kisses, for pats and taps.
Alas, time had run out.
This time was past.
So we returned to our unsatisfying addictions.