Long Unhealthy Poems
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I been asking the good Lord how you been
i feel a gentle breeze maybe its your touch
I question so much about all the things going on around me
have i lost my mind
a voice says dont give up, your almost there give it time
and the poetry is a vibe feel it as it caresses the part i hurt everytime
I wake up im so alone its unhealthy to live like i am
but the lord he knows just what i need
so i wont be afraid of the cruel as they surround me
its dark as death my spirits felt and i dont even have to say a word
im so close to losing myself and becoming the killer i had to be
just for survival jsut because i carry wrath and there goes a bowl
i give it back whats done is done im so sad to see another life thrown away
thats not my idea of being strong as silence sets the tone i feel ghost
i hear nothing but i feel it all, and the battles taking place right before your eyes
should i let loose and destroy or lend a helping hand thats the choice i must make everytime
Kindness to the cruel would be a tactical error Cherry terror the silence screams
they threaten the life of my family, as i march to a cadence, i look the the sky
and i see my star
it's a jewel in my eye a comfort just to know im not alone
And why has the Lord showed me love when im so mean
it hits my heart and i feel what i shouldnt at this time
love to my enemies and thats not me at all
forgive its all i do , and sacrifice, And The Master finds
Form:
Natural in and out practices,
like breathing
and heart beating,
are unlike distinctively spiritual bad habits
and corrupt missionary customs
and toxic chosen-people rituals
teaching dark powers feeding LoseLose unhealthy ego-intention
and somewhat lighter powers
of LoseEgo to WinEcoHealthy sublimations,
like macroeconomic surfing oceans
and upstream/downstream healing rivers
of gravity centered Earth
attacking Raptured WhiteMale Supremacists
for micropolitical navel-gazing.
So, spiritual practices,
like instinctively natural habits
(including breathing
heart beating
drinking clean water
eating our vegetables),
and multicultural customs
and compassion rituals,
teach powers of WinWin healthy intention
and somewhat darker powers
of WinLose competitive capitalistic pretensions
of egocentric Selves
and chauvinistic Societies
Supposedly democratic Societies
so capitalistically impoverished
we cannot afford public health care,
leaving even our wealthiest
to live with private health beware.
Health,
like pathology,
depends on relationships,
which may be spiritually invested
with compassion,
and are too often unnaturally divested
to feed toxic
overpowering
nationalistic
chauvinistic
mono-cultish dispassion.
I try not to speak
ahead of feeling certain
I have something of health value
to wealth contribute
in this our neuro-sensory Commons.
Yet, more curiously significant
for our cooperative longterm resilience
as an EarthTribe communing species
I hope to deeply
and widely listen
for ambiguous
paradoxical
uncomfortably nuanced
and complex emergent feelings
becoming anxious anticipations
and creatively stressed
polycultural examinations
polytheistic aspirations
Inspirations
we each
and all together
have complex relationships
for healthy win/win values,
against unhealthy lose/lose disvalues,
and unresolved win/lose misvalues
To co-invest in integral
synergetic
healthy energetic wealth
of positive co-empathic
whole holonic
holy systemic
root soul transbinary relationships
Within EarthTribe's full
holistic
graceful win/win
verbal and nonverbal
speaking and listening
secular and sacred
win/lose and win/win
community
Communications
of bilaterally co-empathic
deep learning
trauma-freeing
eco-cooperative communicators.
Tarahumara Indians are the best runners in the world
They are light of foot and body,
Super fit, in terrific shape.
They are healthy beyond healthy,
Snaking over rocky terrain,
They are limber, lean and stealthy.
But when they move off the mountain,
Worse, begin eating processed foods,
And stop running around the mountain tops
They get into unhealthy trouble
Their muscles rapidly turn into fat.
Distorting into a person they no longer know
Run back to your Mountaintop, Young men!
Run, Tarahumara Women, run and do not look back!
If we thought we could keep up
We would be right behind you.
6/6/16
Seeing things from both sides
And copious amounts of smoke rise
With my own eyes
At times, I do not always know why
As the time continues to go by
And according to how the crow flies
Matter and molecules bended
And unexpected things occurred beyond being comprehended
Some of which were unprecedented
Not always was a helping hand lended
Nor was it splendid everytime it ended
Despite what was originally intended
Have some respect and manners
What good is delusions of grandeur?
Some can't even hunt or gather
See for yourself take a gander
And then you'll have your answer
Climbing ladders
My pockets getting fatter
Eyeing what it is I'm after
Before going faster
Amid the molecules and matter
Combining and starting to scatter
The bodies of water drying up or continuing to meander
The droplets splatter
Leaving areas damper
Conflict and slander
And reputations being hampered
Unhealthy obsessions leading to disaster
Out in the pasture
Near rocks of jasper
And flowers of aster
In the field of rye there is a catcher
There is an almost endless chatter
Until its drowned out by the sound of a tractor
Sinners, unhealthy, alcoholics, drug addicts
Lend me your ear
This should include most
But there are many great physicians
That have learned to heal themselves
And there are many religions
That have found there own praise
We have sciencetist
That have figured out where they came from
We have meteorologist
That keeps getting our clothes wet
For we left the umbrella at home
Then we have those that
Have just given up on this wicked world
But to those who know they need
Something that they can not achieve from man
You are but a moment away
The worse you think you are
Could be the most beautiful transformation
For most of us it shall come
At that bottom pit we have fell into
To be looking up in distress
And find out we need and cry out for help
Please do not allow man to determine your fate
It will scare the daylights out of the ones observing
When you cry out and this new creation
Is not doing the things that once
The old self was doing that kept one from God
Do not listen to the ones that try
To put out the new flame burning within
No matter what these who think they
Are so wise and living by the laws to be so great
They are not unless they have been
Though the transformation in which
Gives love, humility, peace ,and joy
And no matter where or what
One has done they will
Encourage and embrace
That new creation witnessed within
We all need our own relationship with Jesus
Pray for his guidance and the words will come to life
Try not to apply them all to this wicked world
But all the changes taking place within you
We can not gain it by having the best preacher
Are how big there place of worship is
Or by how good or bad a person is
We can not buy it
For the greatest treasure in life is free
We are the temple God wants to dwell within
Love you all , bless you all in your walk
What is the difference between a Rescuer
and a Facilitator?
A codependent
and a resilient health-enabler?
Why?
If we insist we must have at least one,
What is a difference
between a pan-sectarian Messiah/Bodhisattva,
a co-inviter into health-fertile mutual service
And, a compassioned co-facilitator,
an eco/ego-therapist,
An Other/Self-cooperative healer?
As for the first,
I look for a distinction,
unconscious or not,
between LeftEgo's self-dominant intent
for internal wealth-serving service,
growing more fame and less infamy,
more adoration and less apathy,
self-rescuing from an anonymous pit
of unprominent history;
On the other hand,
the Facilitator is an equal opportunity rescuer
for both Ego and Ego's healthy EcoHabitat,
including planet,
animals and plants and people,
foreign forests and HereNow complex technocratic cities,
far away deserts and internal oceans of motion,
former golden days and still perpetual nights,
past nutrition and future health,
ancient tribes and future families.
As for differences
between sacred CoMessiahs
and eco-over-ego secular therapists,
perhaps the difference between an integral spirit of abundant faith
and a robust soul for healthy and humble HereNow agnosticism,
like John Rawls' vulnerable veil of self/other unknowing,
perhaps this is one of those distinctions between metaphysical identities
without a RealTime physical nature difference,
The dubious difference between non-violent sacred communication
and enthymematic,
nondual-WinWin,
secular co-passionate discernment,
between LeftBrain active hope
for future cooperative healthy-wealth understanding,
and RightBrain historical faith
in ancient wealthy-health tribal experience
DNA's secular/sacred nonsectarian history
of rescuing ourselves
from dubious
dead-end
unhealthy differences.
What's the difference between what's metaphysically uplifting
and what's physically integral,
interdependent,
synergetic?
Maybe both are heavier
and one promises to co-arise lighter?
As if in a decades long
somnambulant trance
for majority of years
I finally awoke,
three score minus
one orbitz tracked 'round el sol
by this human drone,
a custom made incognito
stitched while in utero
yeah... my birthday suit mask
disguised this bloke
yet plainly visible, aye donned
a permanent cloak
always fitted me skin
tight easily permitting
ingress and egress okey doak
majority of mein kempf
ambivalent about (no...no...no...
despised) self as
apathetic behavior did evoke,
yet slip out from
under the Harris tweed,
Scottish door Matt,
parental tender caring folk
now, such indifference,
whether dead or alive,
tummy this thinking haint write
especially nearing quotidian,
the terminus twilight
of existential parabola
fifty nine submucous cleft palate
nasal note more'n slight
chalked up to biochemically, right
hermetically, and neurologically quite,
though not profoundly disabled,
a riddled quirky
psycho-social plight,
(cultivating an unhealthy
absent self esteem inferior complex)
I exhibited half
hearted feeble feints
to muster willpower morning till night
oft times nobody home,
and nary boot faint light
doth shine on me
(feeling comfortably numb),
a puny white knight er
rather pawn on chess
board of life with 20/20 insight
while standing at a paltry
just shy of seventy
two inches in height
shortchanging latitudinal longitudinal
maximum parameters to attain
but more critically, detrimentally,
emotionally constitutes current bane
analogous to Atlas
hold the world
did more than force him to crane
his neck, but imposed
a global estuarial drain
as all the seven seas underwent
gravitational pull that's
the best aye can explain
oh...but such fiction a mythological sling
shot across the bow civilization
the metaphorical resonance
pertains to me, and doth ring
real asper millstone over bearing
worth repeating here,
no matter mentioned in previous poems
bitterness of mine despairingly cathartically airing.
I dont blame her for how she chose to survive
It was never really her choice
It was a forced setup
A gun forced into our hand
To absolve them of guilt
But they guide our hands
On to the trigger
And coax us into pulling it
But was it really suicide
When the world forced us to hide
Threatening to torture us for the rest of our lives
So it was never our choice
When they put a gun to our head threating to shoot us instead
If we didn't put a bullet in our head
I blame her for how she survived
Killing the parts of herself she loved
The parts of herself
That embraced her blackness
That celebrated her differences in a small minded world
I dont blame her for the grief she is feeling
I dont blame her for the part of me thats missing
I dont blame her surviving something horrific
I dont blame her for being her own biggest critic
I hope she knows she didn't have to apologise
To the lies
Concocted by the world in front of her very own eyes
It wasn't her fault
For the words they spoke
The ones that would evoke
Unhealthy mechanisms she would use to cope
I dont blame her for what she had to do to stay afloat
I dont blame her for the lingering trauma
The type that would constantly haunt
Leaving her forever distraught
Like a lump stuck in her throat
I dont blame her silence
Or her acts of self violence
I dont blame how she was born into surviving
A world so cut throat
That it would tell a black girl
She didn't deserve to live
All because of her skin
I dont blame all the black kids for all of the unspeakable ways we had to fit in
Sacred EarthMother and Child,
bearer and born
to win together,
to not sin apart
No less true for elephants
and dolphins
and humans
and undemocratic sycophants
than owls
and solvent wolves.
Child rightbrain nonverbally born
to hear before seeing,
to internally feel
before externally touching,
to smell before tasting
sometimes win together,
sometimes sin apart.
For what purpose
MotherEarth and EarthMothers
but to deeply learn bilateral Winner,
prime composting compassionate health
equally codefining
ego/eco co-refining
co-acclimation,
Earth's perpetually regenerative celebration...
Green cultural opposite
of red fascist nihilistic
wealthy multicultural life denying
Sin/Sin
Lose/Lose nihilism,
climate change cynicism,
unhealthy womb denialism.