Long Tuffet Poems
Long Tuffet Poems. Below are the most popular long Tuffet by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Tuffet poems by poem length and keyword.
“Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey,
Along came a spider who sat down beside her
And frightened Miss Muffet away.”
After a long vacation a little girl called Miss Muffet and her family
returned home at night. They realized the house needs cleaning that
they decided to do in the morning. Meanwhile, mother served Miss
Muffet bowl of curd and whey. She sat comfortably on a soft tuffet,
and as she was about to take the first spoonful of her favorite treat,
a big spider descended from the window sill where it had built a web
when the house was empty. The eight-legged creepy creature was
attracted by the scent of the snack. So, it came down and sat beside
Miss Muffet. Suddenly, a fly whizzed in from nowhere and crawled
up the bowl. The swift spider ran fast across the arm of Miss Muffet,
and pounced on its prey that disappeared within its mouth. The fast
moving scaring scenario frightened Miss Muffet, and she ran away.
Upset and hungry, she could not sleep that night.
Before Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
And before Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
From all the king's horses
All the king's men
Had to pick up all the manure once again
Before Little Jack Horner, sat in his corner
Eating his Christmas pie
And before he stuck in his thumb
to pull out a plumb
Jack's thing had got caught in his fly
Before Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet,
eating her curds and whey
She captured the spider that sat down beside her
When she pooped behind a bail of old hay
Before Jack and Jill, ran up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack wrote out his will
"Cause Jill said- "I will"
And she told him she was the king's daughter
Commander In Chief On His High Horse Haint Budge'n
American democracy go'n
to hell at light speed
breaking into a bajillion pieces
tuffet in a handbasket
sans, lame leader
ship (of motley fools) doth reed
like art art of the deal
gone to the straw dogs,
warren like rabbits they breed
hoppy to curry bone
a fide dirty deed
done dirt cheap selling out
land of milk and honey creed
dough, now wracked with
dissent hair re:
puffed, faked, and dyed golden
locks trademark heed
don his "make America
great again" schtick exceed
ding the speed
of orneriness establishing
mean mien,
where uncouth freed
from being caged within
the restraint of politesse,
thus blithely flagrantly,
and nonchalantly
highjacking manners indeed
setting crude behavior
as class act
to emulate, cuz weed
dont got no need
tubby stately, neither true
equality, fairness, generosity,
most likely teed
trump to spout blatant lies,
when first moment
grabbed narcissistic greed
complacency could
find himself anointing
himself dictator lead
ding this country into behavioral sink,
a through back to mead
evil knights of yore.
If Peter Piper picked a pack of pickled peppers, would you care?
Would the peck be put in a glass jar? What if he dropped a hair in there?
And, if Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet digging
and found the jar that Piper had hidden in the muck,
along side the skull of Cro-Magnon man?
“Ahhh, NO we’ve found the hip girdle and he’s a she!”
Well, ole Pipper’s pecker would have gone to the pie in the sky
and Miss Muffet’s tuffet would have gone to compost;
So, how would the archeologist know for sure? "
Why the HIP, you hafta have hips, miles and miles and mile of hips…
Baby you can be a hero of course just put that ‘orse behind the cart!”
Heart, well it’s left the building too. “Geeezzz it was just a pump
whatcha want from a pump?” Thump, thump, from the bump, bump,
then ya hump, hump, and my goodness, we’re back to Peter Piper and his pecker?
“NO, no, his peck of pickles and Muffet’s missin’ tuffet?
Well, I say the stars, yes the stars, show the way,
the celestial meaning of the id, the I, the you, the ego too,
and love “Ahhhhhh love the excuse for it all!”
The pickles, the muffins, the tuffet, the bumping the humpin’
The free for all of we!
Gingerbread man's life was one of hard knocks
Cus that cookie was captured by a fox
Although he ran very fast
He was eaten as repast
Like the three bears feasted on Goldilocks
Peter Pan had an island of lost boys
Promising them games and lots of fun toys
Purchased from an "Adult" store
Leather was what the boys wore
It's a naughty fetish Peter enjoys
Humpty Dumpty was sad; down in the dumps
When he was caught wearing stiletto pumps
That's why he climbed the brick fence
and shouted, "It's false pretense!"
Was called a 'girly girl' by bullying chumps
Maiden Rapunzel had long golden hair
Spurned all men. 'Twas as if she didn't care
But each night when it was dark
In her window climbed Beau Clark
With ardent lover, Rapunzel lay bare
The tale about Little Red Riding Hood
Tells that to her grandmother, she was good
With Wolf she was in cahoots
For months they'd been knocking boots
The love they shared was never understood
Alice fell in a hole, chasing a hare
Pink Cheshire cat smiled..."Enter if you dare"
Confused, first she shrunk then grew
It was a hullabaloo!
Her adventure gave her a frightful scare!
It has been written about Ol' King Cole
That he was quite a very merry soul
Always had the urge to pee
When ere played his fiddlers, three
Over his bladder, Cole had no control
Cinderella couldn't attend the ball
Because it was her wicked stepmom's call
So, she fed her poisoned rice
Fairy Godmother was nice
Dressed her up like a Princess Barbie doll
Eating her curds, sat Little Miss Muffet
On her very expensive silk tuffet
When along came a spider
Who wiggled down beside her
Asked, "Would you mind if I shared your buffet?"
The Three Little Pigs tale ended in shame
That's why they were never given a name
Big Bad Wolf outsmarted two
Then the third one, he ate, too
For blowing through brick, the wolf had a trick
Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet
Alone with no one to play
Along came a spider that hid just behind her
Keeping well clear of the fray
Little jack horner who lived round the corner
Heard an ear piercing cry
With jack and gill his friends up the hill
They raced to find out just why
Jack fell down and broke his crown
As he collided with little bo peep
With the boy down the lane cant remember his name
They were out looking for sheep
UP jack got no time to stop
As they all ran as fast as they could caper
Little boy blue from number two
Turned up just two minutes later
They ran in the house and all saw the mouse
As it ran straight under the clock
Little miss muffet stood on her tuffet
Both hands held tight on her frock
They giggled with glee at the sight they could see
So they all decided to stay
Little miss muffet thought nothing of it
At last with friends she could play
Jack and Jill went up the hill
each with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two fifty
don't tell me they went up for water!
Georgie Porgie
kissed the girls and made them cry,
now he has to register as a sex offender.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her dog a bone,
went she bent over, Rover came over
and gave her a bone of her own!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a bad fall
a victim of bullying!
3 blind mice see how they run
Farmers wife was armed with mace!
Little Miss Muffet sat on a Tuffet
eating curds & whey
along came a spider,
and she beat the crap out of it!
Mary Mary quite contrary,
the broad was hard to get along with!
Jack be nimble Jack be quick
Jack was too slow and he
burnt his naughty bits!
Little Bo Peep lost a sheep,
check in with the horny teenage
farm boy next door.
Little Bo Peep her head full of soft cotton wool
Lost sheep! No wonder. She thinks her ram is a bull
Over the hills and far far away
forever these sheep are astray
whilst their little plump bellies remain, delightedly full
There once was a sweetheart with title of Cinderella
Met a desperate and randy old fella
In her carriage she fled
prefer he stayed out of her bed
If she has to she'll hide way down in the cellar
Hickory Dickory Dock a big electric clock
shorted out, three mice endured a shock
The farmers wife's knife very blunt
Kept their tails laughed at her stunt
Will they run up again they'll immediately now take stock
There was a tarantula spider well known as Incy or Ipsy
Hotel every Friday always came tottering home very tipsy
His dwelling is named the Web Inn
When drunk renamed Wobble In
Constructed inside a web that's attractive and wispy
Humpty Dumpty he sat on a ten metre wall
Such a conceited big head he was due for a fall
Suddenly bricks took a tumble
Humpty now atop this big jumble
Come stick me together that was his desperate call
Jack an invitation to step sister Jill
Together lets go sliding down this long hill
Jill ripped her pants
can't wear them to dance
But the sliding together gave them a wonderful thrill
Little Miss Muffet sat perched on her tuffet
The porridge too hot to eat she said stuff it
Through her guts went the curds
passed out now as turds
She then arrived to eat some fruit at a buffet
Little Jack Horner still remains in the same corner
For many years an inveterate mourner
Once pulled out the plum
That injured his bum
Decided it's time to cheer himself up so dived inside a hot sauna
Goodness me, fiddle dee dee and la de dah
Mary turned into a black sheep, baa baa baa
That naughty little lamb
Has contrived a big scam
She's gone too far astray and has lost her way
Mary's been tinkering on an old fiddle
But she can't play worth a piddle or diddle
She's as crazy as a loon
Mind and fiddle outta tune
Even the cow can unravel this riddle
I heard about the guy, name of Jack Horner
Who hangs around the lamp post on the corner
Mary does his bidding
It's true. I'm not kidding
She didn't listen when I tried to warn her
What'd you plant in your garden, Mary Mary?
I heard smokin' it will make you quite merry
The feds have grown wise
To her innocent disguise
My goodness! She's become very contrary!
Mean ol' Mary dressed up as Little Bo Peep
To bully and mock the flock of grazing sheep
She is shamefully cruel
I'd meet her in a duel
To put an end to that mean-spirited creep
Last weekend she frightened Little Miss Muffet
Who was eating a light lunch on her tuffet
Munching her whey and curd
When Mary dropped a turd
Then ran off, telling Miss Muffet to stuff it!
What a fussy hellcat Mary has become
Her lies have people describing her as 'scum'
She's bonkers in the head
Obviously ill bred
and if you believe a word she says, you're dumb
Evil is a person who chases blind mice
But by now we all know Mary is not nice
She screamed at them, "Now run!"
Then shot 'em with her gun
One day that ghastly creature will pay the price
The Big Bad Wolf's a hero in Mary's thinking
Cuz he's dreadful to others without blinking
He was mean to two pigs
when he blew down their digs
Mary's just as horribly cruel, I'm thinking
Like Humpty Dumpty, who once sat on a wall
Mary's wicked ways will lead to her downfall
A powder keg's been lit
It will hurt quite a bit
But she's a bad egg who always starts a brawl
Miss Muffet was a girl of thirteen, filled with youth's beauty and charm;
And a love of vibrant life zealous, like eager, vivid thunder of blue alarm.
She was a fine student, pert and popular; like the primrose popularity;
Or stars appearing at the designated hour, sparkling like crystal clarity.
Mary Muffet lived in a small town, with loving parents and her siblings,
Who sympathized with her fear of spiders; like colorful, fall misgivings.
Friends flanked their white picket fence, in fall days of glamour, striking;
And wove fanciful tales with flourish, like flowering genesis, so enticing!
Far off family ofttimes visited Fernglen, with its farms, rich with future;
For fishing and other rollicking fun, staying on 'til varicolored, fall rumor.
They lived in the house of quaint beauty, like charming red, berry sun;
Fondly gazing on pearly moon twice daily, the ritual begun on day one.
Songs sunrise to sunset serenaded, on dappled, silent, Sowerby Street;
But, a scorching summer bled scarlet roses, at the red butterfly retreat.
Near neighbors stayed on a first name basis, in unending, plum seasons;
Of days and nights of green nature; like teal surf, which never weakens.
Summer's glory was in the tiny details, like prayer plants, giving praise;
When sun face orchids, wore sunny smiles, in colored fields of noon haze.
And jade baby toes plants were crawling, through hours of soon history;
In honey days of bicolored hibiscus, filled with heady scents of mystery.
Mary attended a church celebration one day, along with her whole family;
And food was served indoors and out, as pink robin sang of gold, happily.
Mary had such fun playing games! There was much laughter and talking.
Then Mary had a craving for cheese, so like shadows, inside went walking.
Once inside, 'Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey;
There came a big spider, who sat down beside her, And frightened Miss Muffet away.'
As Mary screamed and ran, causing a rumpus, she drew a lot of attention;
But, was suddenly embarrassed by her overreaction, like fall's suspension.
Little Miss Muffet was thence more mature, a natural result of getting older,
And fear of spiders was left behind, like summer blossoming, grown bolder.