Wicked Mary's Been a Bad Girl

Goodness me, fiddle dee dee and la de dah
Mary turned into a black sheep, baa baa baa
That naughty little lamb
Has contrived a big scam
She's gone too far astray and has lost her way

Mary's been tinkering on an old fiddle 
But she can't play worth a piddle or diddle 
She's as crazy as a loon
Mind and fiddle outta tune
Even the cow can unravel this riddle

I heard about the guy, name of Jack Horner
Who hangs around the lamp post on the corner
Mary does his bidding
It's true. I'm not kidding
She didn't listen when I tried to warn her

What'd you plant in your garden, Mary Mary?
I heard smokin' it will make you quite merry
The feds have grown wise
To her innocent disguise
My goodness! She's become very contrary!

Mean ol' Mary dressed up as Little Bo Peep
To bully and mock the flock of grazing sheep
She is shamefully cruel
I'd meet her in a duel
To put an end to that mean-spirited creep

Last weekend she frightened Little Miss Muffet
Who was eating a light lunch on her tuffet
Munching her whey and curd
When Mary dropped a turd
Then ran off, telling Miss Muffet to stuff it!

What a fussy hellcat Mary has become
Her lies have people describing her as 'scum'
She's bonkers in the head
Obviously ill bred
and if you believe a word she says, you're dumb

Evil is a person who chases blind mice
But by now we all know Mary is not nice
She screamed at them, "Now run!"
Then shot 'em with her gun
One day that ghastly creature will pay the price

The Big Bad Wolf's a hero in Mary's thinking
Cuz he's dreadful to others without blinking
He was mean to two pigs
when he blew down their digs
Mary's just as horribly cruel, I'm thinking

Like Humpty Dumpty, who once sat on a wall
Mary's wicked ways will lead to her downfall
A powder keg's been lit
It will hurt quite a bit 
But she's a bad egg who always starts a brawl
Copyright © | Year Posted 2021

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Shaw Avatar
August 23, 2021 at 5:23 PM
This is a brilliant take from the old to new versions of nursery rhymes, Jenna, I've just got to read part two . . . ; )
Logan Avatar
August 23, 2021 at 5:40 PM
I’m glad you enjoyed these, Indiana. Thanks!
Koplin Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 6:15 AM
Awesome limericks! I’m sure we all get the the not so hidden message, lol. Well done my friend!
Koplin Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 8:59 AM
The woke
Logan Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 7:41 AM
Those who are aware of the reason these limericks were written surely will. Thanks for liking these, Mark. I just posted part two, at the request of a couple of poets. I hope you enjoy them as well.
Buhagiar Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 3:03 AM
What a clever way to write all these limericks. You did well. Hugs
Logan Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 3:09 AM
Thank you very much, Victor.
Kavanagh  Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 3:44 PM
Your so good at enhancing these nursery rhymes into Limericks Jenna, miss muffet is my favourite, but they all seem to have taken on a life of their own, great writing cheers David
Logan Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 3:08 AM
Thanks so much for the encouraging remarks, David. I think that one is Jan's fave as well. I've been asked to continue the series.
Dietrich Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 3:16 PM
It's so cool how you got many of the old nursery rhyme characters included in Mary's escapades. Very creative work.
Logan Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 3:07 AM
I had incentive. Thanks, Andrea.
De Beaulieu Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:50 AM
Hello Jenna Logan, oh how clever! I enjoyed this fairytale poetry tale. Hugs
De Beaulieu Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 11:00 AM
Hello Jenna I am happy to hdar this news. Looking forward to what is next. Enjoy your day my friend. Hugs.
Logan Avatar
August 17, 2021 at 3:07 AM
I'll work on it today. lol
De Beaulieu Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 4:00 PM
Hello Jenna, no maybes about it continue the series. Enjoy your evening my cfriend.friend
Logan Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:55 AM
Hi Darlene, and I'm thinking of continuing the series. Maybe. Thanks for commenting.
Leffanta Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:29 AM
Virtual Junior High Schoolers will love this!
Logan Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:54 AM
lol Thanks for liking these, Rico. It was a lot of fun to create them, and Mary is such a meanie that she made it is to put her down.
Allison Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:17 AM
omg you nearly owed me a new chair cos i almost piddled myself with laughter, this is hilarious from start to finish and an exceptional string of funny limericks. i have done a few parodies of nursery rhymes but this beats those hands down, massive fave for me lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Logan Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:53 AM
Thanks so much for finding them funny, Jan. At least you didn't get a wedgie from laughing, and save the chair! You DO appreciate my humor.
Cunningham Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 10:11 AM
Lol, I'll never be able to see nursery rhymes in the same light again Jenna That is one scary Mary. Is that your drawing? Great string of lims, you write one and just keep going. Tom
Logan Avatar
August 16, 2021 at 11:52 AM
lol Tom. There are so many more I could've added. Red Riding Hood would've been my next choice but I had to stop somewhere....unless there's a continuation. hmmm It's not my drawing but it fit the character perfectly. Scary Mary...indeed she is!
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