Wicked Mary's Been a Bad Girl

Goodness me, fiddle dee dee and la de dah Mary turned into a black sheep, baa baa baa That naughty little lamb Has contrived a big scam She's gone too far astray and has lost her way Mary's been tinkering on an old fiddle But she can't play worth a piddle or diddle She's as crazy as a loon Mind and fiddle outta tune Even the cow can unravel this riddle I heard about the guy, name of Jack Horner Who hangs around the lamp post on the corner Mary does his bidding It's true. I'm not kidding She didn't listen when I tried to warn her What'd you plant in your garden, Mary Mary? I heard smokin' it will make you quite merry The feds have grown wise To her innocent disguise My goodness! She's become very contrary! Mean ol' Mary dressed up as Little Bo Peep To bully and mock the flock of grazing sheep She is shamefully cruel I'd meet her in a duel To put an end to that mean-spirited creep Last weekend she frightened Little Miss Muffet Who was eating a light lunch on her tuffet Munching her whey and curd When Mary dropped a turd Then ran off, telling Miss Muffet to stuff it! What a fussy hellcat Mary has become Her lies have people describing her as 'scum' She's bonkers in the head Obviously ill bred and if you believe a word she says, you're dumb Evil is a person who chases blind mice But by now we all know Mary is not nice She screamed at them, "Now run!" Then shot 'em with her gun One day that ghastly creature will pay the price The Big Bad Wolf's a hero in Mary's thinking Cuz he's dreadful to others without blinking He was mean to two pigs when he blew down their digs Mary's just as horribly cruel, I'm thinking Like Humpty Dumpty, who once sat on a wall Mary's wicked ways will lead to her downfall A powder keg's been lit It will hurt quite a bit But she's a bad egg who always starts a brawl