Long Solicitor Poems
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diarrhea Television WATCHIN
I get on with life as a solicitor,
I'm a repugnant kinda person;
I like watching television and watch walking the dog;
I like to contemplate reading a book;
Going to the park maybe riding a bike;
But when I start to daydream,
My mind turns straight to the TV.
Boom boom shake da boom-boom-boom
Ooh ooh ooooh we ooh wee e
Do I love TV more than walking?
Do I love video gaming more than inhaling (what)?
I like to use words like 'sorry' and 'jiggle';
I like to use words about television;
But when I stop my talking,
My mind turns straight to Wheel of Fortune and The Young and the Restless;
Ooh ooh ooooh we ooh wee e
Boom boom shake da boom-boom-boom!
Do I love TV more than walking?
Do I love video gaming more than inhaling (what)?
I like to hang out with John and Laura;
But when left alone, they say I’m boring;
My mind turns straight to radio.
Boom boom shake da boom-boom-boom!
Do I love TV more than walking?
Do I love video gaming more than inhaling (what)?
I even love television more than bacon;
Boom boom shake da boom-boom-boom!
ThinkN bout installing a 60 inch telly in my bathroom,
So I can watch football when I have diarrhea. . .
I hate grubby knees and getting dirty hands.
But I just think back to my television,
And I'm happy once again.
8/24/19
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2019©
Cold winter
It was the coldest winter anyone had experienced.
Birds fell from the sky frozen and oven ready.
He opened all windows let the coal- fire roar, birds
came sat on his roof; so many birds the roof collapsed
the coal fire overheated, the iron melted
the house burnt down; his wife demanded a divorce.
He said to his solicitor: you do your best to save the planet,
its fauna and this are what you get!
He had taken sacks of coal at the depot for this bagatelle.
he was fired and reported, two years prison, which
when you think about it a bit harsh after all he had tried
to save the birds at a time when homeless people froze to death
I went to church for yet another day
Lit another candle and started to pray
Thirteen years ago she passed away
Our Twentieth anniversary would have been today
I walked back home amongst falling leaves
I should have worn a shirt with longer sleeves
I poured a fresh cup of some hot green tea
Her empty kitchen chair just staring at me
Brought out of my trance by the ringing bell
Who it would be, I couldn’t tell
Probably a solicitor with something to sell
I jumped up thinking, what the hell
She stared at me with a knowing smile
The awkward silence lasting quite a while
Something was familiar about her style
My memory bank shifting through long closed files
“Hello Joe, it’s been a long time
What the years have done to me is an awful crime
I looked you up, I hope you don’t mind
You are not really an easy man to find”
She came in and we caught up on our past
We were high school sweethearts when I saw her last
We went to college down different paths
Too many years ago for me to do the math
It’s hard to start a fire in a worn out heart
The grieving widower is my long played part
She was very patient right from the start
Feelings of grief don’t soon depart
I hope, my love, that you understand
For always and forever I will be your man
But the time has come for me to love again
And I am learning how with a new, old friend
And now she comes to church along with me
Helps me up and down on bended knee
As I still light a candle in memory
With a new light lit inside of me
I awoke this morning
In this UK land
Where people went about
Their daily plan
Someone else awoke
In a different dream
All he left behind
Were silent screams
His twin brother
Their Solicitor at work
A colleague, a friend
What lit this spark
His rampage continued
From village to village
Hindsight, gun sight
Leaden pillage
Many others perished
To this mind from
The flick of a switch
His internal bomb
Then the inevitable
To a wooded covering
Can't face the music
No guilty hearing
Once again
There's the ones left behind
Who have to unravel
This man from mankind
America and Finland have seen recent events on a tragic scale.
The UK has in the past seen such events also with Hungerford
and the children in Dunblane. Sadly we see it once again.
May his soul ROT in HELL.
http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/loss-5.php
Our phone has rung six times in an hour.
The same speech.
A robot offering us senior services.
We have asked them not to call us.
On call four they said we would be taken off their list.
Calls five and six were real people
Saying they were from Senior Services.
The perils of being on a list of oldsters
We will not be surprised to get calls seven and eight.
We sit here staring at the phone.
Disappointed because we both have our
Hands ready and the onslaught has seemed to stop.
Repeat tomorrow night.
Sixth day in a row.
Perils of having a birthday in
The fifties
Solicitor,
Tiny gangster
Greatest showman of the all
Budding flower
Both open yet closed
To what is meant to be
A city without parks or tree's
A black and white
3D modern day television
With supersonic fibre internet connection 24/7
Trapped inside a spider's webb
complete with all the trimmings
Chock full of what every human desires drapped in skin of flesh
My precious
My lord that holdeth sway over the
1 true ring above them all
I beckon and await your call
Every second i betray
That which i was born to be
As i am walking slowly blind
Each day by day
Further into the devils mitts
Without you beside me to guide me
Scenes of a marriage
I should have known, she was up before me
I made a cup of coffee and went back to my study
to reflect upon the new day
How wrong I was
She entered; my navel-gazing had to be for another day
“Go and have a shower and put a nice shirt on
we are going to the solicitor.”
“I’m not smelly; I have not had breakfast; why should
I dress up for a solicitor, charging me money for what?
Greedy bandits, all of them.”
“Anyway, I have bought ink for the printer and plan to
print two manuscripts.”
“I have no sugar for my tea, the maid comes at one
the poor woman is divorced, her husband used to beat her
and you can print your papers another day.” SHE SPOKE
So, I had a shower.
I despise her. She is loud.
He is my nemesis. I could tell you stories….
They are the worst neighbors of all.
If their car was any closer to my fence I would shoot holes in it.
If I had a gun.
I cannot stand the new guy with the pick-up truck.
He is your typical Chevy driver.
They always pull out in front of you.
I would never date one of them.
Just a second. The neighbors are….
”HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
I have to tell you, these neighbors are stuck up.
Won’t answer a simple question.
I hate all of the neighbors except for you.
I like you.
That’s why I never turn you into the cops when you are speeding.
I don’t like it, but I have not called them yet.
Damn! A solicitor is banging on my door.
If I had a gun….
Dear Mrs. Goodwoman,
I am sad to inform you of the passing of your late Uncle Sir Rembrandt Hussleberry. He lived to the ripe age of 92, and it is his wish for you to inherit his entire fortune. Most of it is in a storage unit in southern France. You can claim it by telephoning me at 913-333-1999. Get these things ready for me. Your bank account number,
your mother’s maiden name, your birthdate, and your blood type.
I know this is an odd request, but Sir Rembrandt Hussleberry’s estate is worth 2.5 million dollars, and you are the only heir. To release it, we will need a token check from you of $5750 because that is what he owes in back taxes. It will be needed before we can write you a check for the 2.5 million. We may need additional identifying information. When you telephone us we can let you know how soon you can expect the money.
It has been a pleasure serving Sir Rembrandt Hussleberry, and it is a pleasure serving you, as his only heir, also. If you have any questions please call me at 913-333-1999.
Respectfully,
Dr. L. C. Howell, L.T.D.
Solicitor at Large
1388 Tadberry Road
London, England UK
I'd married at 21 and moved overseas with my husband's work, so it had been many years since I had visited my gran at Rose Cottage. I was taken by surprise when I received a letter from her solicitor informing me of my inheritance. Her cottage had been vacated when she went into a care home, and sadly she passed away a few years later. Gran had been widowed at an early age so I’d never met grandpa. I was her only grandchild and had such fond memories of spending summer holidays with her.
ripe red strawberries
boiling in the copper pan
I label jam jars
When I pulled into the driveway I was shocked to see how dilapidated the cottage was. Green shutters were hanging off their hinges and paint was peeling from the window frames. I recalled the perfectly manicured lawns and cottage garden flowers which were gran’s pride and joy, now a forest of dandelions sprouted from the lawn and brambles snaked their way through the honeysuckle arch way. I picked my way through the vegetation which was covering the moss covered path and turned the key in the lock; the heavy oak door creaked like my arthritic joints. Gran’s cosy cottage had always been spick and span, but now every surface was covered with a layer of thick grey dust and lacy cobwebs hung from the black beams on all the ceilings. As I wandered through the empty rooms my footsteps echoed on the old pine floorboards which were littered with strips of wallpaper falling from the damp walls. My heart sank when I saw how much work was needed to restore and modernise the old stone cottage, but with time and effort and help from my family I’m determined to bring it back to its former glory
neglected cottage
in need of renovation
rambling roses bloom
Fiction poem for Thesaurus - Abandon or Abandoned Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Dear Heart
POEM AWARDED POEM OF THE DAY
06/14/20