Long Smashing Poems
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Last night a great heaviness
fell through the roof
dropping like a boat anchor into my dreaming mind.
It was sentient,
a being as hard as steel and massively stupid.
I felt its dumb confusion, its awkward alarm,
I winced as it lumbered around my head-space
crashing into my own startled thoughts
though I realized on some level of awareness
that I was still living in a bad dream.
The brutishly bulky being wanted answers,
I wanted answers, the dream had no answers.
Eventually that solid hulking creature gave up
turning my inner-state over and smashing
my neuronal workings over its big stony head.
Oblivion took us both.
When daylight unveiled the long night
I looked about me
the bedroom was not ransacked
but my brain was blinking on ‘check engine’ light,
and something was still asleep
on the backseat of my mind.
Tonight I will take a strong drink and 2 Ambien
incase its guttural snoring, or its chaotic dreams
wakes me up again.
A MOTHER
I often sit and daydream and
wonder what it would’ve been like
to grow up with a mother’s love
instead of fearing how hard she will bite.
I wonder what a day would seem
being small with a hurt little thumb
to have a mother to kiss your pain away
instead of being laughed at and told you’re dumb
What would it feel like to come home from school
to some homemade cookies or even a cake
maybe a smile and a kind word
instead of venom spit from a snake
I’d seen other mothers act like they do
with their kids on a regular day
No screaming or yelling or smashing glass
and those kids didn’t feel just in the way
So soon I left home much too young
with no real thought to life
I just had to escape the nightmare there
until maybe dad found a different wife.
That day did come but not soon enough
the damage had already been done
the brain reacts and does what it knows
in this situation no one has won
I never knew security, love or trust
it sounds sad but all wasn’t that bad
I switched on my cruise control for most of my life
and now there’s no memories to be had
That’s my fee for taking the easy way out
for not believing in the good
too afraid and too damaged to take a step out
and demand people treat me as I knew they should.
January 2018
If there's one thing to remember as you travel life's highway
We're all made of the same stuff
Bones, skin, hair, and smashing good looks
Oops sorry, not everyone is blessed with good looks like this dude
Mummy and Daddy's genes combined
For an extraordinarily handsome specimen of male virility
Had to fight the girlies off with a big stick
I know, I know, shouldn't be complaining... right!!!
Some of us just have to endure these minor inconveniences
Hollywood movie stars have much the same “problems”
Have to admit, at first it was very flattering
But that soon wore off and it's now quite a nuisance
Having to sign autographs every time I step outside the door
Guess it's the price us over the top handsome folks have to pay
For the adulation of the adoring throngs
You may ask, “IS THIS GUY SMOKIN' UP?”
Sure sounds kinda whacked out to me, I must say!
Aww! But he's got such a sweet heart
Hang on, hang on, I'll soon be back to my humble self again
I'm sorry... it ain't easy being humble you know!
My tongue's stuck in my cheek!
Rain falls on the lonely water’s edge,
is it a tear of a forgotten woman?
Sojourned on the surface of the water forming a bubble
for a moment and sinking into a forgotten time to remain
an oblivion because the bubble is incapable of becoming
a swift current. It is moving alone.
Because the woman in rain wanted to shake off
lots of deep-rooted detestable memories and rancor
she rushed to the shore and flew in the air as a mist
after smashing into a break-water. She couldn’t get rid of
her life-long ill-will she carried because she held onto false reality
that caused her to stray farther away from the actuality.
For her heart’s rending cry and struggle echoes vainly,
the water’s edge’s monotonous rain is the forgotten woman’s ill-will.
The rain becomes harder and harder
for the weight of the dark cloud hangs over her head
that is too heavy to hold, the woman kneels down by the shore
her poor heart’s lost grudge hardened as a piece of wooden block
and drifts along the water with the current that will never return.
some people have friendly ghosts
I scoff at them
they have no idea
what a real ghost is
my ghost flits in and out of rooms
giving me glimpses of dashes and darts
startling me with creepy whispers next to my ear
my ghost slams the kitchen cupboards in anger
my ghost is a Victorian lady, someone says
she is prim and proper, dressed In white lace
my ghost is a poltergeist; throwing things at my head
smashing my mirror into the sink when I floss
others try to tell me about their lovely ghosts
their loving ghosts, their protective ghosts
I hope to get out of this house alive
but am unsure if it is a possibility at this time
my poltergeist is angry, and strong
and determined to kill me
why don’t you leave? People ask me
I have no place to go
My money has gone into this house
I am stuck
“You sure are” a voice whispers next to my ear.
Year is 3035
And here I lie in my capsule
Waiting for the great End
Or may be deep in my heart
For an Alchemist
To come and show me
Some light
Among this dark plight...
The chemicals I used
To make my Oxygen
Is almost finished
The pills I take for vitamins and proteins
are also scarce
It's been ages since I tasted the food
For their is no tree or plant or herb outside
No oxygen in the atmosphere
The temperature inside is controlled
But outside is hell warm
From the glass windows
I have been seeing fireworks
For many weeks
Fire and lawa would erupt from nowhere
I know not if my friends
In my neighbouring capsules
Or alive or they starved to death
For none of us can move our capsule
As we are not left with much fule
An army of strange creature is taking the world
They drink fire which is erupting everywhere
And eat garbage which too is in abundance
The screaches of these fiery devils
Make my ears bleed
They are smashing our capsules for spot
And putting everything in their fiery gut
It's proving a final nail
In the coffin of haman race
And of the mother Earth
Alas, It all started gradually
With the cutting of the trees
And letting poisonous gases dissolve in atmosphere
Glaciers melted
Oceans evaporated
Atmosphere lost oxygen
Earth became a hot desert
Animals and birds... extinct
While humans... confined to their units
A lonely life in a small space
Without love, without friends, without family
It's everybody for it's self
Earth is about to shatter
Into pieces
I am already seeing the cracks
And the fireworks... blinding my sight
Oh God, make it end soon
For we have suffered way too much
Or send some help
And take me to a green Earth
( 4th May, 2021)
For 'A Poem of Horror' poetry contest, Sponsored by Funom Makama
Piles of regrets gather dust in draws,
If only I had a feather duster.
How often fleeting chances missed,
If only dares, like mares I could muster.
Perhaps I should flip a coin to decide,
If chance to 'might be' blockbuster
Pops up like a billboard flashing by,
With 'play me right now' life adjuster.
Multiple worlds, multiple stories await,
Those that fire the ejector thruster
To leap into windows of opportunities,
Smashing glass to land a gangbuster.
Drowning in drowsiness, my eyes try to wander.
Escaping these rose bushes,
leaving with more cuts than memories.
Alone and exhausted, disassociating and crossfaded.
My second heart starts beating.
As the blood courses through my veins,
a second voice calls out to me.
Become one with it, I say.
Heartbeats, rapid drumbeats,
a melody unable to make me sway.
All I can focus on is the mysterious girl in shrouded mist.
I can hear myself dying.
If hate’s all you want, that's what you’ll get.
Dark streets with dim corner lights pave my way.
One stop sign is too many.
Lust, jealousy, envious, resentful.
Feelings lie awake, wanting to die.
My shadow speaks in whispers.
Smashing a mirror with cracked knuckles,
I must suffer to salvage the victim.
I must save myself.
“Miss Fickle, welcome to the sweet and cool drink aisle,
Where we serve you with a smile”
Oh please, Mr. Chips, Miss Bar One replied, “You could not think of something better to say?
Before you know it she’ll head the other way”
*rolling his eyes*Mr. Chips retort would you have preferred me to say “Miss Fickle you look
smashing today?”
Miss. Bar One looked away irate, "Trust you to flirt with anything that wears a skirt, it’s so
cliché, so yesterday!"
Mr. Chips retorted with a grin, “That’s not what you said when I used that line on you years
back”
Miss. Bar One replied wiped the smile off his face, “Oh yeah, what does it say about your
charms? After all this time you are still on my track”
Contest: Grocery Grammar
Placed: 11th
The mind empowered with desire -
The heart upon a dragon's back -
From depths of hell, Intricate Fire
Spring into life! And don't look back!
Through caves, through shafts, and through volcanos -
Into the clouds in ruby plumes -
Through things both exquisite and heinous -
Intricate fire to burn presumes.
What is your source? Who is your ruler?
Upon which start and to what end?
Reasoned from what, and in what manner?
Through context, based on which intent?
In forest, wildfire without pity;
Midst people, the electric light -
Moderate doses light a city;
Extremes burn holes in the night -
What will you char? What will you nourish?
And what transfigure, into whom?
What will in warmth you give off flourish?
What will be in your heat consumed?
Smashing through crust, and into air -
And with that feat of passion done
Springing past construct and despair -
But what is closer to the sun?
Crust breaks, that fire might meet the surface
And show what is that made the earth;
And then beyond, there is the cosmos,
That gave both earth and fire its birth!
And then beyond, galactic matter
And then - more, more, and endlessly
Simplicity complexly scattered
From simply hewn complexity:
Quasars, black holes, energized darkness,
The sugar in the Milky Way
Particle-waves, relative timespace
Between the galilean frames -
But do not pause yet on your journey!
So much to see, so much to be!
Abyss of stars appear before you
And in them - blended - destiny:
To meet the sky, and like a comet
To blaze the path around the sun
Through Milky Way and out beyond it
And through it, out into the One!
Or two! Or three! Or the forever
Beyond the known aleph null -
Into the endless Everywhere -
Burst, fire, and never ever fall:
Spring into the eternal purpose
And only then you can be free:
From magma's heart and into Cosmos -
Intricate fire! Burn through me!