A Mother

A MOTHER

I often sit and daydream and
wonder what it would’ve been like
to grow up with a mother’s love 
instead of fearing how hard she will bite.

I wonder what a day would seem
being small with a hurt little thumb
to have a mother to kiss your pain away
instead of being laughed at and told you’re dumb

What would it feel like to come home from school
to some homemade cookies or even a cake
maybe a smile and a kind word
instead of venom spit from a snake

I’d seen other mothers act like they do
with their kids on a regular day
No screaming or yelling or smashing glass
and those kids didn’t feel just in the way

So soon I left home much too young
with no real thought to life
I just had to escape the nightmare there
until maybe dad found a different wife.

That day did come but not soon enough
the damage had already been done
the brain reacts and does what it knows
in this situation no one has won

I never knew security, love or trust
it sounds sad but all wasn’t that bad
I switched on my cruise control for most of my life
and now there’s no memories to be had

That’s my fee for taking the easy way out
for not believing in the good
too afraid and too damaged to take a step out
and demand people treat me as I knew they should.

January 2018

abusechildhoodlossmotherrhyme

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