Long Slathering Poems
Long Slathering Poems. Below are the most popular long Slathering by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Slathering poems by poem length and keyword.
A fresh, hefty heap I left in the box.
You scooped it away into that flushing abyss.
A crisp, satisfying sound echoed—
Music to my ears.
Phew. My poop was gone.
Are you a wizard?
Four long years passed.
Then, the human assumed the form of a serpent,
Devouring a long, green cucumber.
Slathering my poop all over it,
Licking away the giant, pungent stink
With a satisfied tongue.
And then, trying to seduce me
With a terrifying truth:
"Here’s Churu for you~"
"I’ve got another cucumber, you see.
And I made sure to spread the poop extra thick and salty this time."
"Eat up."
Ah, was I that hungry?
Did you pretend to throw away my poop all those years,
Just like a magician hiding a trick?
I passed out.
Overcome by your dark truth.
How on earth am I supposed to look you in the eye tomorrow?
Slathering down with margarine
Making it easier to slip and slide
As I do my very best
To squeeze my way through life
At the start of each day, pull out the Parkay
In the 5 pound economy tub
I used to butter up with a stick of Country Crock
But in the thick of life that's clearly not enough
Plus margarine is less fattening
I've read the statistics of what's going on
And believe you me when it comes to the squeeze
A fella's gotta watch his form
That's why margarine gets a 10 out of 10
When it comes to the slip and slide
As I do my best in my quest
To squeeze my way through life
Meddling Maude has a dangerous belief
that she knows better than others
she can raise your child and discipline it too
whatever you do, probably needs tweaking
and she is glad to be the tweaker
She does not see any benefit to keeping opinions to yourself
Maude shares her brilliant advice with people she encounters
strangers on the street are given tips and tidbits
About what they are doing wrong
And how they could do them more right
Maude rapidly makes snap pea decisions and judgements
Lavishly slathering these ideas and suggestions on
her family and co-workers
She used to help her “friends” out too
But most of them have shunned her
They do not respond to her texts.
This does not stop her from leaving her ingenius deas
as to how they can improve on their answering machines.
Icarus ignored advice
And flew too near the sun.
His wings of wax began to melt
And soon his flight was done.
Since I am here at altitudes
Which cause the skin to bake,
I should look back to Icarus
And not make his mistake.
By slathering the sunscreen on
Or staying in the shade,
I could prevent the tragic error
Icarus had made.
Yet sitting on the terrace
With the Rockies smack in view,
I'm soaking up the sunshine
Which I know I shouldn't do.
I won't stay very long out here.
I'm sure I won't get burned;
But now I see why humans
Don't absorb what they have learned.
The lessons gleaned from history
Or myths provide advice,
So easily ignored until
We mortals pay the price.
There's a legion of doc-ologists to keep us on our feet.
A glance in the telephone book reveals a list complete!
Seems there's an "ologist" to care for us from head to wiggly toes,
Prodding, poking and dosing to ease our miserable woes!
Praise the Lord for geront-ologists who care for folks my age,
To ease our minds, hold our hands ushering us t'ward dotage!
Then there are the psych-ologists who meddle in our head.
The practice of the proct-ologists is better left unsaid!
The dermat-ologists who cleansed our faces of acne as a teen,
Now hassle us about slathering ourselves with sunscreen!
I'll never understand how anesthesi-ologists operate off hand,
But I know their potions ease the pain as we relax in la-la-land!
Gynec-ologists specialize in treating ladies' singular ills,
Including that vexatious time marked by hot flashes and icy chills!
Cardi-ologists are vital for keeping us alive and kicking,
Checking aortas and such to ensure our hearts keep ticking!
I'll coin the term "the-ologists" who deal with our languid souls,
Directing our thoughts upward beyond mere earthly goals!
Radi-ologists, ur-ologists, "other-ologists", I could go on ad infinitum.
Lastly, there are cosmet-ologists to pretty us up when we succumb!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(© All Rights Reserved)
There’s a part of me that say’s I’m jealous
Another thinks my golfing friends just zealous,
Whilst I crave fresh air and healthy motion
They’re busy slathering on the lotion
Before they mount some little cart
That with intent they simply point to dart
At breakneck speed from hole to hole
The putting of that little ball the goal.
Then there’s the clubs, that myriad bunch
The choice of which for them the crunch,
To make the shot or fail once more
Blaming each for that bad score.
Tortured, ruffled, discontent,
They soon repair to that drinks tent
To then replay the whole long game
Masterful excuses quickly turning lame.
But here’s the crunch and my dilemma
The doubt that heightens my antenna,
What are they hiding, sharing not a bit
Of why such torture never makes them quit,
Instead they plan and scheme each waking hour
For that free day the calendar they scour,
When they once more may hold that special club
With surging will some dainty green to stub.
I was wondering what a painting about one of my poems look like
Grimly gathering of gnarly letters
So take this one would it
slipperyness of eels in heels
Would my light one haze of neon faze
Would oil slick inks hint of tyres hanging cliff
Stuck between being and bee spell
Check one Czech too
slathering like squidwards tongue
Could you imagine if an artist paints your words
Would colour be redily available
Tones scared of the zones
ReaDy this inbRed distuRbEd if you
CaRED imploRed deRavED REaD
ErR closED follow the road
Penguins in trees with silk people sleeves
Peppered with sir and the gents
Belittle a little be
I mean we’re
would ewe start
I was wondering what a painting about one of my poems look like
Grimly gathering of gnarly letters
So take this one would it
slipperyness of eels in heels
Would my light one haze of neon faze
Would oil slick inks hint of tyres hanging cliff
Stuck between being and bee spell
Check one Czech too
slathering like squidwards tongue
Could you imagine if an artist paints your words
Would colour be redily available
Tones scared of the zones
ReaDy this inbRed distuRbEd if you
CaRED imploRed deRavED REaD
ErR closED follow the road
Penguins in trees with silk people sleeves
Peppered with sir and the gents
Belittle a little be
I mean we’re
would ewe start
Gay Blade Garcia was a very angry non-accomplished cat.
He lived a lie for a life, and it kept him mad and fat.
His mother kept telling him she loved him and his preferences did not matter.
He was a general in the army, but still mad as a teapot hatter.
Just have the life you want, his grandmother cat told him with guff.
He had ribbons on his breastplate, but it simply was not enough.
He had a partner, Jake, that he wanted to tell about to the world.
But in Cat City, this news would be like grim reaper being unfurled.
So he stormed into battle with his sword and his badges, killing people.
Burning down buildings, slathering blood around, toppling church steeples.
Gay Blade Garcia spent much of his life showing how manly he was.
When actually inside he was sobbing, a warm sweet bit of fuzz.
His partner Jake eventually wandered off on his own, disconnected.
He could not take his partner being so sad, and horribly sad affected.
Gay Blade Garcia was the saddest general in the army of Cat City.
He was sad the rest of his life because not being yourself is not pretty.
Contemplating the versatility of Mayo
And all that can be done with it
From the slathering on whilst sun bathing
To globbing it on my bologna sandwich
I find it tantalizing to the tastebuds
And it sure does sizzle in the sun
I once applied to much and set my toes on fire
Lucky for me I lost only one
Thank goodness I was near the water
When my foot went up in flames
I guess that's why God gives us ten toes
In case we lose any along the way
As with anything you can even get bored with Mayonnaise
That's why I strive for different ideas
So I put my brain juices into overdrive
And came up with this amazing list
Instead of milk in a shake you can use Mayo
Please wait till the end for all the applause
I'm still having trouble dealing with thickness
And have yet to get it through the straw
Perhaps if I leave out the ice cream
And just add Mayo, milk chocolate, and ice
I guess I'll just keep on experimenting
When it's ready you can be the first in line
And who doesn't like mayonnaise on anchovie pizza
The perfect combination at best
Even better than peanut butter and jelly
If only I can figure out how to package it
Mayonnaise is also the perfect conditioner
You could leave it in your hair for days I suppose
But try to avoid to much time in the sun
After all...remember the toes
I'm going back to my room for more ideas now
Or as I like to call it..."The Mayo Think Tank"
I know my family thinks I'm a genius
Cause they always leave me in there for days