Long Shipshape Poems
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Aye agreed
and did promise to pledge troth
faster than greased lightning airspeed
once the missus temporarily
ceased menarche regarding monthly bleed
became in family way with child
thee eldest, whom one day may breed
opting out begetting offspring
later versus schooner, I must concede
first born proactive with beau
raising one or more progeny
sprouting like loco crazyweed
hypothetical kin unschooled,
viz no particular
race, religion, creed...
cuz unlike das papa,
she carefully plots
being University of Penna degreed
shipshape smarts anchors ahoy mate
well seasoned life, yes indeed
unlike me willy cocked,
limp bizkit primed to hawk kitty
then future spouse did not intercede
once peppy begged, connived,
dictated tug get freed
birth control neither I,
nor missus did heed
sowing wild oats courtesy yours truly
didst adeptly beg, burrow, knead
mini straw nee
testosterone totally tubular
lil trouser snake proceed
letting call of wild take lead
tube (steak king claim for fatherland)
heady after slurping boot legged mead
wharf four hide hid bungle exceed
ding whacking thru jungle of lady love
until...making head way
verboten fruit fricasseed
stifled unnatural prime mate years
pent up sexual urge, thus did supercede
pitched, hitched, ditched
libido in throes of monkish celibacy,
procreating analogous to filigreed
custom made jewel,
thence sore relief yours truly did need
at seminal moment ejaculating seed
with snoop doggy dogg speed
generating prickly heat
inducing ***** fied stampede
appetite for reproduction
essentially kitty feed
bubbling self cleaning oven
after getting soused asthma gumweed
glommed, where male member
tiptoed thru tulips
playing biological equivalent
risque business "Russian roulette"
pregnancy eventually guaranteed.
the following quite quirky epistle may not exhibit the ordinary characteristics of poetry, but i decided to share this self made challenge (where every word begins with the letter "S" - no explanation can be offered why such self cerebral torture imposed, nor what motivated me to focus on the nineteenth letter of the english alphabet at the exclusion of other noble vowels and consonants.
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Sunday September seventh started seemingly same since...silver screen show secured seventy seven SeventhSeals.
Soupy Sales supreme salient strengths (starring smart pet sidekick Springer Spaniel Socrates) salvaged sagging sporting sorties. Slap stick stereotypical swashbuckling shticks supplied shipshape shenanigans.
Spartan stage set spurred spontaneous simply stupefying solution. Suede shod schlemiel. Sartre seasoned scenes. Sharp sticks supported sphere. Seats situated semicircular semblance.
SPCA, Siemens, Sears sponsored soiree. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious shouted satirically 'specially Saturdays seemingly sellout. Spontaneous spritely Shogun Samurai sangroid stance satiated slipups stripping stellar seasoned Skidamarinks substitutes sacredly, seminally, silently, slipstreaming soulfully saving saga.
Sometimes silly spouse studiously sought spurious strategy stringing superlatives showcasing senseless sophomoric soporific skills specifically spelling storybook sassy sharpshooters supposedly sleuthing shapeless seated sideways (sic seasonal slate smug spotified snapchatting skippers selfishly scooped sloop-ful seasonal six-packs) sinister Swiss scalpers sat sometimes squatted.
Located in the perfect place
Filed in transparent drawer
Unruly impediments erased
Facets interact free of flaw
Seamless system clockwork
Methods remain meticulous
Design drawn up by a doctor
Considered, inconspicuous
Routine guides a room's tidy
Itemising verbatim shelves
Briefcase organised abiding
Data struck upon first delve
Packed in precise patterns
Utility is readily predicted
Shipshape sailing on satin
Scurvy sufferers evicted
Fold exposes name brand
Recognised categorically
Regular overhauls planned
Excess viewed as slovenly
Upkeep travels compact
In zipped compartments
Disarray tends to detract
Regimented requirements
8th of **** April
The tweet on the pipe called the muster fall-in
The cadets all fell in with nary a din
For now they’d be grouped for “Hands to Cleanship”
To dress up the ship afore the Old Man's pip-pip
Well-trained, the cadets set to their work
The Bo ‘suns and POGIs made sure they didn’t shirk.
The awnings were tautened with the Shark's Mouth agape
The ropes in the grommets brought all into shape
The hydrants and fittings were brassoed and shined
The scuppers were cleaned where muck was confined
Running rigging was secured with belaying pins
All loose gear were neatly stacked in their bins
Hawsers and towropes were carefully coiled
Wire ropes ‘spiked, unkinked and oiled.
The decks were all cleaned with the broom and the brush
Fenders and pontoons secured so sides wouldn’t crush
With hammers the cable was chipped off of rust
The shackles were oiled after cleaning the dust.
The bitters on the bits were tethered on tight
With the bitter ends belayed and tucked out of sight.
The QD was holystoned with water and sand
(All set for the do with the Naval Band)
The Old Lady was painted in her customary gray
Her waists all shaped up for the rest of the day
The guns were all covered for the incoming squall
Even before the “cover guns” call
The Inglefields were mustered, the pennants and flags
Strung for’ard to stern without any sags
And thus was the ship all dressed to the tee
As shipshape and dandy as she rightly ought to be.
Their tasks all done, the cadets did secure
But the day was not done, there was more to endure!
Living the dream, in your teens, not hardly.
If you forever found yourself back in time
but with memories of all that is lost, and
find you cannot even locate your Valentine,
even with your good looks, shipshape body,
your countenance would become crestfallen.
Missing the moments, did you live them at all.
You’d recall son and daughter, grands and all.
Would life still be grand when the moon falls?
The sun rose on the shoulders of her or him.
You’d talk for hours about this and that on whim.
It is the life lived and the hope of heaven to claim.
So even when your loved one dies, they exist.
But, if you find time has reversed, while you rehearse
your memories, with tears no one cares about,
‘sissy girl or sissy boy,’ because those teens
can’t relate to your old soul in a unwrinkled body,
because gram and gramps are just old.
Suddenly, your back, excited at your limp,
bags under the eyes, and the grands
run into your arms, or grab the VR, who cares -
your back…your back..oh your back…
Still you do the heavy lifting of the rich at heart,
heartily, tearfully (why are you crying, kid asks),
Living your dream at sixty-something, remembering
everything…well, not everything, but you smile
because you're golden, and what matters is life’s kiss.
National Panic Wednesday March 9th, 2022 actually... every day
Founded by Tom and Ruth Roy
solely to acknowledge hardship
of A. R. Harris
and her husband M.S. Harris,
who cope poorly
(even courtesy medication)
with anxiety attacks, especially when
violated, probed, interrogated courtesy
Highland Manor inquisition,
which traumatizing event happened
on aforementioned date
included with poem title.
J. G. and P. F.
constitute management team
under jurisdiction of Quoss
(pronounced chhath tt) and Grade,
who espouse principle laissez faire
but whose exhibited heavy handedness
pertaining to the married couple
named in the third line of this poem.
Either one or the other gals
who attend these premises
here at the Schwenksville location
(I won't mention
the state as penile solitude)
alluded to a peculiarly nasty odor
emanating from unit B44,
our man/woman cave.
We received a twenty four hour deadline
to get into shipshape the disarray
messiness even Pigpen
would find abominable,
yet upon receiving both
oral and written admonition,
me and the missus
buckled down and kickstarted
frenzied whirlwind one bedroom
apartment cleaning spree
zoned out like zombies of Sugar Hill
when the clock struck bewitching hour,
more specifically that alluded time
synonymous with midnight.
No matter we felt dead tired
whereat neither option
to acquire additional time,
nor desist existed,
and yet nearly impossible mission
to continue, but appealing
to temptation of sandman
out of the question.
Deep sleep for the weary
appeared oh so heavenly,
on par with plate
of powder milk biscuits,
our mandate (analogous to pilgrims
adults and children -
forced to fight in crusades)
forbid cessation, thus to plod
and plow onward
despite overwhelming urge to plotz,
(not the slang definition)
found yours truly
blissfully in dreamland
when me noggin hit the pillow,
Not for a minute
could yours truly
sit down and take a breather,
despite severe lower
(rightside) back pain.
Said dull throbbing ache
diagnosed as tight muscles
by Doctor (physical therapist)
John R. Mishock,
he would not countenance
(approve, comply, honor...)
I popped one Ibuprofen.
HIPPOCAMPUS SADDLED IN DAYDREAMS
Hippocampus saddled in the vast sea, one of God’s superimposed dreams.
In miniature form these seahorses be, an aquatic burst of genius it seems.
Hippocampus in old Flossie form, spotted from the Scottish shores.
A frightful nightmare, not the norm, thus shiver in my corporeal core.
If mermaids had thighs to tighten around their bony scales,
would that they be fight’n where the shipshape sailor fails.
Seducing sirens hiss upon the sea monster’s back with songs that rage
to lead in armageddon attack, to place mankind in a flaming cage.
4/20/2018
Julia Ward’s Seahorses
Barren land of illiteracy ,
Soil never having been loosened,
Not fertilized by education !
Prejudice from heart difficult to eradicate,
Aspirations vacilitate, soon disheartened,
Barren land of illiteracy !
Comforts and bad money marionette ,
End of the day, lie disillusioned,
Not fertilised by education !
Howsoever doodads may shipshape,
Barefaced soul eventually feels threatened,
Barren land of illiteracy !
Eyes riveted at the door go grave,
Impecunious mason carving in house darkened,
Not fertilised by education !
Succor will soon arrive I hypothecate,
A town feared seized will stand fortified,
Barren land of illiteracy,
Not fertilised by education !!
Sponsor- Juli Michelle
Contest- rhyme battle- round 4
A villanelle ,
19/3/2014
Now entered for contest "Only villanelle and terzanelle"
By Shadow Hamilton
Beethoven to roll over,
dee composing
(sans my zany brainy adherence
to "FAKE" information I eschew)
and essentially single handedly grew
the contemporary paradigm few
off fish shill educated
people didst swallow
hook, line and sinker, but perhaps
an enlightened gentile and/or Jew
found credulity linkedin with the then
far reaching somewhat sunnily
revolutionary antithetical concepts only
gull lib bull and/or cuckoo,
despite the logically
substantiated veritable true
lee near custom fit, hunky
dory, integrated metaphorical
interlocking puzzling pieces
rightly anchoring vast vista
(realm of known knowledge,
viz apple pi order)
shipshape motley crue foo
fighting banded divers lee distinct
whirled wide webbing
did not experience
smooth semantic sailing,
and rather recently
(historically "speaking") Renaissance
exuded approbation, and found substantial
adherents among cognoscenti,
who took to heart as gospel truth,
the expansive database
apropos christened Aristotéles translated
to mean Superior; best of thinkers,
whose missives dissected, inspected,
and probed for ethical, philosophical,
and rhetorical handy
dandy blues clue
meriting nascent outlook, sans salient
rubric quintessential pointing cue,
analogous to eternal spirit hovering,
guiding, and favoring new
acolyte, or stalwart
diehard Aristotelian hew
wing painstakingly, thru
prodigious tomes binding
ancient (classical Greece) via
Aristotelianism super glue
rebranded within modern roam'n Times
Font 12 visa vis,
when re: discovered
anew by Martin Heidegger
Ayn Rand, and Alasdair MacIntyre.
Rats! Mine Poetic Submissions Once Again Deemed Floccinaucinihilipilification
/?fläks??nôs??ni?hil??pil?fi'kaSH?n/
(floc·ci·nau·ci·ni·hil·i·pil·i·fi·ca·tion)
Countless declined submissions of mine,
tipping scales massive
Earth Atlas shrugged,
(he nonchalantly shouldered
1.317 × 10^25 lbs)
sends storied ambition plummeting
millstone yoked neck analogous
to bajillion pound weight
thus yours truly
doth modify expectations
absolute zero prospect
I will posthumously
attain poet laureate status
within human league,
asper dignified luminaries
comprising cognoscenti pantheon
posthumously storied authors
renown unto posterity,
yet ever since disembarking...
fashioning, finagling, forging
building blocks of English Language
humble mission courtesy this wordsmith
never sunk entrenched ambitions
into virtual sea constituting briny deep
wide whirling webbed waters
intent to reel eyes,
neither fame nor fortune,
but wield unique signature
this landlubber mentally laboring
to heft cumbersome words
chiseling, fitting (jigsaw puzzle pieces)
interlocking snuggly, asper
analogous mortise and tenon,
or (sometimes forcefully jamming)
multisyllabic deeply oceanographic
flowingly, trending intrinsically quixotic
harmonically sympathetic...
to affect pacific effect,
nonetheless attempt to launch,
albeit figuratively shipshape anchored
literary endeavor metrically
bobbing (with square pants) along
gently down stream of consciousness
side stepping excessively
indignant, flagrant, arrogant...
undertones, yet present
political perturbations pain
this doubting Thomas unitarian,
whose outlook good n plenti grim,
especially insatiable thirst
about global/world events
can barely be slaked!