Long Puns Poems
Long Puns Poems. Below are the most popular long Puns by PoetrySoup Members. You can search for long Puns poems by poem length and keyword.
Dust descends and day is done,
Darkness lays a restive spread;
Evening ushers new puns,
Hear the night owl in the glades.
This starry nocturne reveals
A cast of night time charades;
Deep dark propels a strange feel,
Cicadas and frogs spark trade.
Outside our window a burst:
Fireflies in aerial flirting;
Somnolent hours spawn a thirst:
Night creatures prowl dark settings.
This countryside escapade
Feeds trends that illuminate;
Fatigue finds rest here instead
Of city dwellers debate!
A weekend away from home:
A country cottage retreat;
To seek and find yet not roam
Too far from civilised streets.
Time for thoughts and surge of rhymes,
Feel the rhythm and the urge;
Ink the wonder in fond chimes,
Pen pleasant surprise and merge.
Let the rustic charms echo
Imagery that tells why
Our modern lives seem hollow
In afterglows and sad sighs.
Words ooze with easy feelings,
Jerky yet smooth in plain pitch;
Thoughts that crowd meandering,
To scratch and soothe the sore itch.
Shadows dance in twilight moon,
Night citizens on the prowl;
Observe the bright midnight noon,
Listen to the preaching owl!
Soon sleepy moods must mingle
With dreams that come out to play;
Drowsy sensations tingle
As cold night winds breeze away.
Leon Enriquez
04 Mar 2014
Singapore
Sir Rule, Ian Ballew and Ock, a marine
set off on a houseboat to study
the difference between greenish-blue and bluish-green.
The deep blue sky on that fog-foggiest of days
they mistakenly thought was the sea
which explains why to us, when they saw a green haze -
Ian whooped, "It's a film on the water!" And so...
Sir Rule smirked, "Ock, go get us some popcorn and Pepsi."
Ock started to cuss, "---, why do I always have to go?
Since blue means profane and if naive spells out green,
Who wins the Oscar? It's not hard to see -
greenish-blue, naively-profane - Ock, a marine.
or if you prefer:
bluish-green, profanely-naive - still Ock, a marine.
Author's Notes: The names in this piece are puns for the colors, cerulean blue and aquamarine. No reflection on the hard working Marines who serve our country so well.
There once was a robin who flew
somewhat strangely down my chimney flue.
When I asked if she missed
due to morn's heavy mist,
she said, "That, plus I'm fighting the flu".
Unhappy with how much I weigh,
for a long time I searched for a way
to get rid of some weight.
This was well worth the wait:
to fruit smoothies I add powdered whey!
She prays to her Father most holy,
while adoring His worthiness wholly.
For long hours she'll kneel
by her new husband, Neil.
So that's why both their pants are so holey.
Though he couldn't look me in the eye,
the cupcake thief said, "It is I".
When I asked, "So you ate
every one of the eight?"
With a fierce stomach ache he said, "aye".
A new singer has come to the fore
though I honestly don't know what for.
Her light dimly has shone
(as her critics have shown) -
her "cringe" songs I could name three or four.
This poet tells bad jokes (puns, too)
every minute he'll tell one or two.
Now this half-funny bard
from all bars is now barred
till his victims who passed out come to.
My sailboat I towed down the road
to the bay; at the helm my son rode.
But no breezes were seen
at the smooth-as-glass scene -
to our destination we both rowed!
Twelve donuts I opted to buy,
as I nibbled on them by and by.
Now they're gone - who knows where
(my new pants I can't wear)
With this mystery I'll sign off. Bye!
//Homophones - two words sounding the same but with different meanings //
Written 26 Oct 2022
Bazball pimps now shrimps on the barbie
So low did stoop scoop of Nincompoop soup
Trumpet the thump it Bazball strumpet crumpet
Bravado of trio with brio plus lardo & avocado
Braggadocio Pinocchio mumbo jumbo gumbo
Bizarre under par no cigar mis-steak tartare
Phony baloney mony mony minestrone
Fish & swish delish dish of death wish Gibberish
Wacky ego from hero to zero tacky shi*show taco
Don’t give a f*ck not once but twice spliced duck
Flame grilled chances spilled one trick pony
Gobbledygook spooked overcooked zabaglione
Slurry in a hurry won’t worry say sorry curry
Baggie green vented spleen terrine
Why would you even risk it brisket
Takes the proverbial herbal verbal biscuit
Ashes hope killer dope quesadilla
Oz supernova it’s already over Dover sole
Lamb to the ripsnorter slaughter
Drole rigmarole goad toad in the hole
Baz puns like Mao’s guns in bao buns
Gory no glory story does bore me Tandoori
Bazball goals down golf holes silly sausage rolls
Canned slices of fanned tanned Barmy army
Starc tsunami lark umami like spiced pastrami
Bavette baguette of bet will forget any regret
Baz & Ben flower pot men smarmy salami
Stumble derails still no humble pie tales
Scallops with dollops of lolloping Codswallop
Bazball boast spit roast with burnt toast trollop
Snipe this tripe is as ripe as our Gripe
Gabbatoir bete noir Pom bomb Dauphinoise
Done like a kipper without Warne’s flipper
Stellar Aussie fella mortadella from the cellar
Hoodwink stink of our skipper.. all cheesy hype
Shocker if this is our Test best.. zest of fu*k fest
In the locker of Davy call in the navy cos Bazball ain’t gravy
On my two year anniversary
a new verse too read
canny words set free
doctor said you need
Apples nutritious
And grapes with pips in
Cables that trip us
And drapes for peeping
At sights kept hidden
Affairs and lovers
Secret keeping
Shared with others
Handsome ransom
at mind not money
I’m often random
and it’s not funny
Crabs go sideways
until the sea sweeps them
eyes open up wide
at bikinis let peeking
as the waves go by us
and I do a wee
sunburnt red faces
smiling at me
soaking up the sunshine
a day at the beach
sunburnt tan lines
an apple or peach
bottom as my trunks fill
bobbing along
smooth like a wheel
singing a song
summer days
sand in your crease
lovely brown glaze
attacked by geese
some sit on a nudist
seemingly happy
fun this rude is
until towel slaps me
a towel you then lay
warm sand feels marvelous
face down drift away
part of us hardenous
it's okay on the sand
where no one can see
it's gone and you stand
an outline there be
They say be your own
I say who are they
Facts can’t be known
I say hip hooray
Hip hip hooray I mean
keep it original
Sit to see if seen
cliche when critical
I think this has run its course
A furlong too long
from a drunk drinking horse
So long so long and on
I pee when I say goodbye
see that magic
auf wiedersehen goodbye
puns tragic
Taliban crossing the Mediterranean
breeding with Italians and Albanians
Italibans and Talbanians
talented puns
My friend - I’ll call her Brandi -
asked where do you get all your candy?
I said you may find this hard to believe,
but I always keep a few Twix up my sleeve.
I read about buccaneers in history books,
And I thought where did pirates get their hooks?
Later, while researching various folklores,
The answer came to me: second hand stores!
My friend, who is a soothsayer,
told me never to date tennis players.
I thought this advice was really a gem,
because love means absolutely nothing to them!
It really is a bummer
when people say age is just a number.
I think it’s totally absurd.
Age is clearly a word!
My ENT specialist, Doctor Jeff,
told me that I was going deaf.
About this - let me be clear -
the news was hard for me to hear.
While living on the shores of Avalon,
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon.
Their delivery, however, was very slow.
Which came first? I’ll let you know.
Been writing some “not so fun” poems lately
Time to get back to the silly stuff
No matter what we do, nuttin's gonna change
Bad stuff, we've heard quite enough
D'ya hear the one about this unfortunate fellow
Whose whole left side was cut off
Sure sounds to me like an extremely sad event
Seems he's all RIGHT now, did you scoff?
Gotta a big bunch more, d'ya wanna hear 'em
Why was the baseball getting bigger
Then without any warning, it suddenly hit me
There was some groans, I figure
Hard boiled eggs are very hard to beat
This one's a real good laugher
Leaving alphabet soup on the stove overnight
Certainly could spell disaster
My tennis opponent wasn't happy with my serve
He kept on returning the damn thing
Used to be a tap dancer until Tuesday last week
Fell off the tap into the sink
Chickens crossing the road are poultry in motion
Things round here are getting tense
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table
Was of course, Sir Cumference
Had enough or do you want to hear more
Okay one more then it's over
When the cannibal showed up late for dinner
They gave him the old cold shoulder
© Jack Ellison 2013
I write poems for sly smirks and laughter
I want a hearty chuckle and an eye roll
A reaction to some nonsense thereafter
Something to ease the ache of life’s toll
I want a hearty chuckle and an eye roll
A clever play on words in my wordplay
Something to ease the ache of life’s toll
A headshake with a grin on a hard day
A clever play on words in my wordplay
You like chocolate? I just gave you a snicker
A headshake with a grin on a hard day
I’d read more bad puns if I could type any quicker
You like chocolate? I just gave you a snicker
I write with my left, an ambidextrous rite left, see?
I’d read more bad puns if I could type any quicker
To pepper you with jokes if you weren’t so salty
I write with my left, an ambidextrous rite left, see?
A reaction to some nonsense thereafter
To pepper you with jokes if you weren’t so salty
I write poems for sly smirks and laughter
Nov 24, 2022
Pantoum on Writing Poetry Contest
Sponsor: L Milton Hankins
Pigs that swim the Caribbean aren't just silly rumors,
Polly is just such a pig, from the island of Exumas ...
Oh, Polly loves the water so, her family loves it, too,
Always tepid, crystal clear, and bright Bahamian blue.
It may seem quite unusual, for swine to EVER swim,
Stranger still, what Polly does as day is growing dim.
Tho' she loves the water, her favorite thing's the sky,
Yes, Polly has a special gift, as she knows how to FLY!
She tries to keep it quiet, not upstage her family's act,
For many are the tourists that swimming pigs attract.
She always waits until the sun is far 'neath the horizon,
A canopy of midnite stars is the sky that Polly flies in.
Her favorite time to fly is when the moon is full and pale,
The Caribbean breezes are what curl her piglet tail ...
Winging 'neath the Milky Way, riding moonbeams, bright,
Spinning with a loop-the-loop, doing pirouettes in-flight.
To dive and tickle wave-tops and make her hoof-trails glow,
To Hop from cloud to puffy cloud - count islands far below.
Her family thinks she's "flighty", and rather out-of-hand
But any pig who doesn't fly, isn't apt to understand ...
She loves to be with family and friends upon the beach,
But Polly's home is with the sky, soaring reach-to-reach.
So, if you someday make that trip to Polly's native isle ...
Find a hammock, rest your feet, and watch the sky a while.
You may not catch her flying, very few have had the thrill,
But if you're patient and you're lucky, WHEN PIGS FLY ...
Perhaps you will!
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Your Choice Light Verse (Wit, Humor, Wordplay, Puns)" Poetry Contest, Brian Strand, Judge & Sponsor.
~ 1st Place ~ in the "Honoring Dr Seuss" Poetry Contest, Michelle Faulkner, Judge & Sponsor.
This mahjong game
Swirls round the square;
Four winds by name
As shrewdness bares.
A session round
The square table;
On crafty grounds
As wit grapples.
Here at the East,
I sit and watch;
Cache of pure feast,
Cunning to dodge.
Watch card discards,
Study the way;
Each player guards
To build array.
Each players thinks
How to outwit;
To weave a link,
Chase winning bit.
The cards go round
As game proceeds;
Logic is found
As sure form feeds.
Wins here and there,
The four winds blow;
Dragons somewhere
To cast the flow.
Play and chit-chat
As each takes turn
To bolster bet
With grand returns.
In a fast dash,
Brisk hours pass quick;
In a swift flash,
Tiles change, thrown bricks.
Our family
Plays just for fun;
Time moves briskly,
Harmony puns.
Late hours remind
The end game count;
Some wins we find,
In small amounts.
For a short while,
We laugh and play;
We share fond smiles,
Make bonding pay.
Here at the East
All things begin;
Warm fancy feasts
From deep within.
So here we tend
Fond times we start;
Begin and end
With loving hearts.
Leon a Enriquez
27 December 2014
Singapore