Long Poop out Poems

Note to Readers of Previous Versions:
There are so many new vignettes scattered throughout the poem that I hope you will reread the whole thing! There are many new GEMS, improvements to previous verses and improved...

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My wife and I met more than a few of this type of “shifty wheeler-dealer” during our many years dealing in antiques and collectibles.

           ...

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NOTE:  This is the 2nd THIRD of a funny 3-part piece. No other way to post it due to file size limitations. It's a really fun poem, and I hope you'll take the time...

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So bridge to bridge, of other things speaking
Of which my comedy does not take care,
We walked; and reached the top, when seeking
For watching the next slit, then we stopped there
Malebolge to see and crying vain;
And...

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Here's the scoop, friends...
   This is, as indicated, the 1st THIRD of this fairly lengthy poem. The 2nd and 3rd parts had to be posted separately due to Poetry Soup's file-size limitations. No...

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 After graduating from UF, in the early '80s I wrote the book, lyrics and score for a musical adaptation of Moliere's farce Le Malade Imaginaire ("The Imaginary Invalid") and have decided to post five...

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Thus it begins—
A free-verse epic
Into the mind of
A writer and an idiot—
A romantic and, 
Often a pessimist
Conjoined in arbitrary glory
Are the thoughts and words 
Of one overly-worked mind—
Charismatic and, of course,
On the pushover, pitiful
And usually...

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‘Bout 8:15 this morning, on the bus that I was riding, I overheard a woman tell some gal it seemed she knew,
Her pastor - reverend Bishop - and a “tacky looking woman” we’re spotted leaving...

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Those who get,
get more.
Those who want,
want more.

Evolution is not survival of the fittest species,
but thrival of the greatest fit with least endosymbiotic change required
within,
whether we speak of polycultural enrichment
or meta-paradigmatic revolutions in understanding multicultural enrichment.

Evolution...

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Is Joss Whedon ‘I AM?’ (1) Christ Reincarnate?
                  I Think That That’s Doubtful!

More than Trump ‘IS’ (1) (by...

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If you would like to have your limerick(s) posted, soup mail them to me.

Ms. Rude is still writing her snide remarks
She sounds like a mad dog who barks and barks
Geeze, lady, give it a rest
Your...

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Last evening I noticed another disconcerting Trump headline.
This felt and smelled more like a deadline
for disintegration
than a lifeline,
a bootstrap, if you will,
toward integrity of health and regenerative safety,
which I thought was front and center
in our...

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I am playing with my dollies
And my princess pram all pink
I'm nearly 5
A big girl now
No more nappies
Or plastic pants
I think

I outgrew the potty
When I was only three
My mum says it's because I am brave
Now...

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Twice told toilet tale – a cheeky execrable gross fable

which poetic product best be affixed 
with hashtag STINKY label.

As a young whippersnapper
and one precocious lad to boot,
I discovered common combustible materials
found in the bathroom.

At opportune...

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The moral mortgage of mice and men 

Yours truly quite astute,
especially regarding cute
little field mice, also known 
as meadow voles,
which imprecation one doth emote,
when aforementioned animal burrows inside
leaving pellet size poop in their wake
suddenly presenting...

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I have heard many moms repeat
"You never stop being a parent."

Sadly, I don't see or hear that quite so much from the dads,
although I know of remarkably nurturing exceptions.

I thought of this as my impossibly...

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Limricks prompted by a comment made by someone today

It's a fact, and no longer just a rumor
Some soup people barf at toilet humor
Have you sniffed your own butt 
It stinks so keep it shut
Pessimism must...

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Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still use normal towels

But, my BMI stats tell me

I'm a word...

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[My recent poem ‘The Dimly Lit House’ received a
Comment from Charles Messina that it could be a Tom and 
Jerry episode… what can I say? Something went ‘Ping!’]

       ...

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Folk purchase this celeb’s new candle
 It’s something my brain cannot handle
 ‘Smells like my v’gina’ 
Could give folk angina
 This fragrance has caused quite a scandal 

Inspired by a comment from a fancy friend...

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This embarrassingly irreverent piece is loosely based on a true story for which I've paid the price for pretty much causing it to happen more than once...PLEASE, no hate mail!   PS: "Bonnie" is...

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Itsy Bitsy the tiny pixy always wore a frown
for the other pixys treated him like a clown
The other pixy boys did not want Itsy Bitsy around
Itsy Bitsy flew too slow with small wings that were...

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Sometimes,
not often enough,
I stop my morning routine
to watch the feeding drama breathe feathered flurries in and out,
on, 
and under,
my side-yard bird feeder

Outside my kitchen windows
over this morning's sudsy sink,
looking across a twinkling white field
of early...

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My metaphor came to me this morning , used his tail to smash my face thrice to tell me that it's 8:30 nd I can't avoid my class , to tell me it's 8:30 nd...

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Mother Goose would find her tail feathers ruffled 

Hey diddle diddle 
the cat and the fiddle
when off to see 
a crooked man and woman,
whilst cowards jumped 
over moo ving little
pair of mismatched muggles,
who both walked...

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